~A PERSONAL NOTE~

Dear Friends...

I'm not sure how to begin this Post so I'm just going to jump in.

Many years ago I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that for quite a long time made my life miserable.  I will spare you all the details of it because even after twenty-five plus years of living with the once nameless disorder I still don't understand it all myself.  Gratefully and thankfully I've been symptom free for a long, long time now even though my blood tests continue to show some abnormalities.

When my arms and hands started giving me trouble over a year ago I chalked it up to being overly aggressive in my attempts to strengthen my upper body using SmartWeights (3 lb.)  But, over the past twelve months the pain only grew and this past April when I took some time off to visit California I was barely functioning.  I thought a week away from computer-work, sewing and painting would help, but sadly it didn't.  My arms and hands have burned with such intensity that I have barely been able to think let alone work.  The growing numbness left me nothing but frustrated and even sometimes overcome with worry.  My painting and sewing projects can be very detailed at times and not being able to work will explain to those of you who shop my website why my offerings have dwindled down in the past few months.  I'd begin something and then halfway through would feel so miserable I couldn't finish what I had started.  My apologies to those of you who have been disappointed or feel let down...

When I returned home from Tennessee last month, where I helped my sister prepare to open her shop, I knew something was up as I could barely drive home.  I left her home earlier than planned so I could get home to see my primary care doctor...AGAIN!  A few more minor tests were run, but basically I was given more pain pills and hand splints.  He suspected shoulder issues, but to be safe sent me to a more specialized doctor.  More tests were ordered but still no concrete answers.  Last Wednesday I saw a third doctor who was leery about the preliminary Carpel/Tunnel/Tendonitis diagnosis.  So, he scheduled other tests to rule out anything that might be associated with my auto-immune disorder...just in case.

I knew from what had been explained to me they were going to start from the top...worse things first.  In my heart I was very aware what they were looking for because I've been tested over the years for just about  every scary thing a person can think of...besides the nurse told me.  My heart sank into fear...

 

Since I started my blog back in January 2009 I've tried my best to share with you not only the things I love associated with my creative passions, but also my faith in a healing, loving, merciful God.  This past week as I tried not to worry and fret about the unknown bundle in my life I found peace in this one single belief...

God won't allow what I can't bear.

I am here because He has been faithful to me.  It has been His faithfulness that has initiated, nurtured, and strengthened my faith in Him in return.  It is my hope the faith he has planted inside of me will continue to stay strong and will never be uprooted by any event or circumstance my life may bring.

"It is grace that brought me safe thus far,

and grace will lead me home."

(John Newton)

After days and days of waiting for the tests to come back the phone finally rang late Tuesday evening.  Not expecting it to be my doctor my hands started to shake when our Caller ID displayed his name.  Initially a flood of worrisome thoughts blazed thru my mind in about a nanosecond...but then, peace.  Only peace.  I knew before he ever spoke I was safe within the palm of The Most High.

"How deep will the pain go?

Rest assured, never deeper than the Lord's love."

"Rebecca?   This is Dr.......!  Forgive me for calling you so late but I have your test results and I knew you'd want to know the outcome!  The nerve tests done on your arms show you have a mild case of Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, no doubt brought about by your work related and exercise activities.  However, the nerves in your arms are so inflamed that at present I can't believe you can lift them at all!  A course of action......."

(I didn't hear much of anything else to tell you the truth....................)

 To the few of you who have known the story behind the story of this past year and have lifted me up to the Father, I can't thank you enough for your kindness.  Tomorrow morning, Thursday, I begin a round of injections to calm down the inflammation and after a week or so I'll know more about what I will choose to do in regards to treatment.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and notes of encouragement.  They have ALL meant the world to me...  (And to BonBon...no words.  Just enormous gratitude for your incredible faith and for standing in the gap when I was too afraid to stand on my own.  I love you!)

Blessings and love to you...

~BREAKING MY ADDICTION TO DIET SODA~

I'm sure I'm not going to get any soft drink sponsors by typing this OUT-LOUD...

BUT...

I'm going to do it anyway!

It may not seem like a big deal to those of you who have never overindulged in carbonated beverages, but I have...for years and years in fact!!!

  Quite frankly 

I LOVE THE STUFF

(always will)

and

I DRANK WAY TOOOO MUCH OF IT!

I'm not talking about an occasional sip or two...I'm talking about a daily intake of many, many ounces!

Through hard work and endless headaches determination I've finally broken my dependence on Diet Soda,

namely Diet Coke!

Whoot! Whoot! For Moi!

I've ALWAYS loved soda pop and as I grew older would drink it non-stop.  In the late 80's I forced myself to learn-to-like calorie free drinks instead of the sugary stuff, falsely believing it would keep me from gaining weight.  The thirty-year spread was looming over me at the time and with two young children I didn't think the addition of caffeine would hurt.

Well...fast forward twenty years and...well...I don't know...

HUNDREDS of bottles and cans of the
bubbly concoction later

I finally said ENOUGH!

Boy was I in for a ride!!!  I craved diet pop every single day for two straight weeks and it wasn't until the third week of being off of it that I began to feel a bit better.  By the fourth week my headaches were subsiding, my sleep improved and today I feel more focused all the way around!

It's taken me a month to detox my body from my drink of choice of over twenty-five years...

The reason???

Hmmm...three important ones~

(at least to me they are important!).

1.  I hate the taste of the caffeine free stuff and since the added stimulant has been keeping me up at night for years I came to the logical conclusion that SLEEP is better that POP!

(did I say that???)

2. True or not true (lots of debate out there!),

I've come to believe my body doesn't need all the artificial junk...  I'm pretty strong-willed and when I set my mind to do something, well...I do it!

3.  The CO$T!

When a 20 ounce bottle at the corner store hit a whopping

$1.69

earlier this year I said 

FORGET IT!

I figured it up and if I drank just three bottles a week at full price (and I'm confessing it was much more than that!) at the current price of $1.69 x 3 = $5.07 x 52 (weeks) =

******$263.64******

If I double that to six bottles per week (which I know I drank!) the cost per year for just me came to about

******$527.28******

(Are you kidding me?)

I've decided that money can be used on our kitchen remodel.  So aside from the health benefits

I'm going to use the saved cashola to upgrade to the refrigerator of my dreams!  

I'm so smart! :)

Hope your Monday is wonderful!

Love to you...

~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING...LOVE YOU MOST~

I've had a long week and I'm very tired.  My Sunday post will be short today as I'm still trying to allow my hands and arms to continue to rest.  To those of you who are praying for me, I thank you so very much...I need them.  Yesterday I had a very scary test done and I'm praying for good results...

I haven't visited around too much so when I'm feeling better I'll try my best to catch up!
My deepest thanks to those of you who've visited me over the past couple of days for the 
Where Blogger's Create Party
and left such lovely messages.  You are the best and your words of praise helped me feel better.

This week I spent some quiet time reflecting upon my life and all the blessings that have come my way.  Although my walk with God has been far from a perfect one, I know in my heart He has been with me all the way...walking beside me and even carrying me when the burdens in my life were too heavy for me to bear.

I understand fully His goal is not to make me happy.
It's to make me His.
His goal is not to give me what I want,
but to become all I will ever need.

When I was a little girl my sister, Faith (I call her by her childhood name of Linda), use to sing a song from our church hymnal that so beautifully fit her sensitive heart.  For some reason the sound of her sweet, young, lilting soprano voice keeps coming to my mind...  I can still hear her singing "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go",
a favorite hymn of our father...

"It may not be on the mountain’s height,

or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front,

my Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls

to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go.

I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain, or plain, or sea;
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what You want me to be..."

Mary Houghton Brown (b. 1856)
Charles Edward Prior (b.1927)

Aside from my passions for things like
old laces, buttons and ribbons,
hand painted roses and soft cotton fabrics or
vintage and antique finds and the like,
what I love most and
want to be most,
is ALL God wants me to be.
It is my deepest desire to love Him MORE than anything else in my life.

Thank you again for visiting.  You continue to bless me.

Love,