Thursday, January 3, 2013

~CROOKED PATHS~

   It's been almost a week since undergoing double hand surgery and honestly I'm thankful several days of healing are behind me now.  Long way to go, but I"m doing great!  Normally I'd be happy to offer up a heaping-helping of whine or something (or maybe even an out and out COMPLAINT!) regarding the entire ordeal, but something happened the day before Christmas that set my heart to wondering and ever since I just don't have it in me to speak of anything other than gratefulness...
 During the first week in December a dear old friend of mine from high school became ill.  After a few days of true sickness she was admitted into the hospital and almost overnight her condition became critical.  She was placed into a medically induced coma but her health continued to decline.  On Christmas Eve morning she went to heaven at the young age of 53. 
As I read the Facebook postings of Linda's family (also HS friends) I tried to take in all they were sharing.  One of five girls, Linda was the second born and only 11 months separated her from her older sister.

As the raw emotions spilled out I realized almost immediately that even though there was great love, respect and affection between the sisters they didn't always see eye to eye.  Frenzied fingers typed out things like

WAKE-UP, LINDA! 
and 
BE STRONG, LINDA! 
and
WE ARE HERE, LINDA AND WE LOVE YOU! 
One message in particular stole away my breath...it simply spoke of the regret of not being able to take back all the stupid and hurtful things said and done over the years...

  I'm sure both big and small things over decades of living pressed in on them all and no doubt those events ushered in trials and disagreements.  And like any family, especially one with all girls, there was some brokenness left unattended.
 I continued to read the Facebook posts even though sometimes I felt like I was a voyeur and would surely be sick.  The emotions were raw as all the sisters (and their momma) struggled to make sense of Linda's illness and how, in just a matter of days, they were faced with making more than a handful of decisions they never dreamed they'd have to make.

Hundreds of classmates followed Linda's plight as she had been President of our high school class of 1976.  She was brilliant.  Talented and deeply loved by many. 

I couldn't help but think of my own family and siblings as I thought about Linda's passing.  I feel grateful and thankful for the good health of those I love.  
Still...I know in my heart there are so many unspoken words that are just waiting to be said.

There are letters to write...

Apologies to offer...

Fences to mend...

Grace to extend...

Forgiveness to offer...

Forgiveness to seek...
For almost a month Linda's sisters never left her side.  One was always close by in case God's healing and miraculous touch came upon her.
  
Today we know it was a heavenly-kind-of-healing that called out Linda's name.

   Since her death her sisters have handled all of her personal and financial issues and together they are now working on closing her home (which is on the opposite side of the USA).  Linda was a single woman with only one grown child and the demands of work and family have only allowed so much time off...

It's been her sisters who stayed...and stayed...and stayed...
Honestly...I have no idea why I'm even writing all this~
(would love to blame the pain meds~  But....) 

I suppose God must be dealing with me and my own stubborn and imperfect nature of late

I just hope and pray each of us will

OFFER FULL

and

COMPLETE FORGIVENESS

for

EVERYTHING
 
while we still can...

~~*~~

 As soon as my hands are strong again I will begin.  There are certainly a few crooked paths in my life longing to be made straight once more...

(PS:  Thank you, my beloved Mr. AGPMan for your typing skills and patience.  I owe you! ox)
 
Love to you...
 

31 comments:

Suzann said...

Hello Sweet Rebecca,
I am so glad you are doing well enough to do a post even though you had to have a little help from AGPMan:)
I am sorry to hear about your friend, 53 is way too young. Prayers to her family.
I love visiting you...the words you write are always so heartfelt and filled with compassion and love.
I wish you a speedy recovery and lot and lots of (((((hugs))))))
Love,
Suzann ~xoxo~

Abby's Paperie Garden said...

The reason for your post is so clear....we all need a reminder especially as we welcome a new year to cherish every moment we have here on earth and with our loved ones. Thank you for sharing this heart-wrenching/warming story with us.

Be well,

Abby

Glimpses of My Heart said...

Rebecca - This is so sweet and touching. And so appropriate for me today. One year ago today I was in a serious accident that nearly took my life. As I began to heal and take care of myself and my family again the Lord showed me how truly blessed I am. He showed me I need to express that thankfulness in many ways. For me, one of the biggest ways is not complaining about little things that really don't matter. I have 4 kids and we live on a farm. Mud is going to get tracked in. Instead of complaining I am thankful that I have all those feet coming in each day to bless me in some way.
Praying you heal quickly.
Many blessings to you today, dear sister,
Michelle

Anne said...

Rebecca I am thrilled to hear that you are healing well!I have been thinking and praying for you! I am so sorry to hear about your friend.Keeping you all in my prayers!
xx
Anne

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

I lost my BFF 9 years ago. She was only 51. We had been best friends for 20 years and she was the kindest, loving, most giving person who ever entered my life. She left a huge hoke in my heart, but I am thankful to God for allowing her to be such a big part of my life. AND I am most thankful that because we both love and trusted Jesus, I WILL see her again when the Lord calls me home. We need to always tell them we love them. Our time here on earth is short, but we will rejoice together in eternity. Thanks for sharing Rebecca. Hope you are feeling better.

Lavender Cottage said...

Hello Rebecca
So glad your operations are behind you now. Such a young lady still at 53, I'm sorry for your loss of a friend.
Judith

Marilyn said...

I've been thinking about your surgery and the healing that must take place. Don't rush it. God does give us a lot to think about and challenges with things we don't always understand. I guess we need to be still and listen more.♥♫

Barb @ My Cottage On The Lake said...

My Sweet,

You have a willing heart...that is all God asks of us. When we have a willing heart.....He is able to work His wonders through us. Do not fear....you are being led by His mighty Hand.

Thank you so much to Steve.....he is a darling.

Love you, B

Amber Lyon Ferguson said...

Rebecca,
Thank you for such a nice post. I just wonder if she possibly had Lupus, it can hit like that sometimes...
I will say a special prayer tonight for your speedy recovery and also for healing of hearts in the family of your friend.

Ann said...

Very sorry for your loss. Life is so fragile and it is these instances that we are reminded to appreciate/celebrate each day to the fullest.

Glad you are healing and will soon be back doing all those things that you love.

A side note, right before Christmas I got the flu and was so ill can't even explain it then DH got sick and we were too sick to take care of each other. Made me think.... but we are better now. The side note is that in my antique booth I sold so much even though I was unable to work it. Blessings abound in so many ways. Be of good cheer!

NanaDiana said...

Oh- I needed to read this tonight, Rebecca-That is why you wrote it. I have some fences to mend, too. Some words spoken that should never have been said- some heartaches that have never been healed. Thank you (or Mr AGP) for typing this out- It was meant to share here- God bless you and I pray for your healing every day- xo Diana

Tracie Dean said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
Your post is beautifully written.

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Rebecca,
How true you are to your Father! He would not have done any homily better than you did this post! But it is such an important subject. I often have said that hell to me is the time when people realize it is all too late for saying something, for visiting, for holding or lending a hand...
In a way, that is also my cry from the soul, about my Daddy who turns 92 today. It is a shame that I could not even show a recent photo as I have none. My siblings and other relatives are way too busy with themselves as to think about their ailing Mom and aging Dad who lives alone with this burden of a sick wife. Never a visit to the hospital and they are only ten minutes driving away. Can you imagine that? Pieter and I have visited them more often from the USA, even with our foster daughter Anita in tow. My one brother who lives about two hours away visits Mom regularly in the hospital; that is so sweet. My eldest brother does check on them at home; daily so that is great and his wife cooked a yummy Christmas dinner at their home for eight of them. That makes for a happy and grateful family and is called LOVE. I can only pray and I guess that the liberal thinking that kicked religion out is to blame for the lack of compassion and forgiveness etc.
Hugs to you both and rest well. Your husband does great in typing your posts!!!
Mariette

Bonnie Hitchcock said...

Oh my sweet friend. Such pain in your words. God makes beauty from ashes is a blessed promise and He promised to make the crooked paths straight. Love you and pray for your loss and pray for healing both emotionally, relationally, and physically. You are beautiful, my friend and have such a kind and pure heart. We have all been there and God is a God of Restoration and Praise His Name, A God of GRACE. Thank God for Grace.

Terri said...

Hi Rebecca,

Your post was food for thought. There has been a lot of anger and bitterness in my family since my parents passed away and many harsh words have been spoken by one of my family members. It's very sad and it hurts me greatly. Sometimes it's so hard not to lash out in return, but I choose to take the high road. I pray that she can make peace with her childhood. Prayers for your continued healing! Mr. AGP seems to be taking excellent care of you!

joanne said...

many lessons to be learned here. I also feel this sense of mending and healing of relationships since the school shootings. Something just happened in my heart and I no longer want to dwell on those things, in the end they don't matter and I want to matter. Be well sweet Rebecca, you have such a lovely voice and I'm so glad that I get to hear it....thanks to APG man...;j

Teresa said...

So thought provoking! I am so glad that you are feeling up to posting. I am also glad that your hubby is willing to help you. I am sure that he is taking excellent care of you. You two are so great for eachother.

Carole said...

My Dear Rebecca, I've been browsing your blog and I love the peaceful calmness I felt and I hope your hand is starting to feel better.

I offer my deepest condolences to you and to Linda's family. As a grief counselor, the loss of a loved one especially during the holidays is overwhelming, and I can speak to that from my own personal experience.

Thanks so much Rebecca for dropping in and leaving a loving comment. I hope to see you again soon. Carole xox

GARAGE SALE GAL said...

Reading this post brought back the fresh memories of my BFA, MaryElla who went to heaven on Sept 10th...I miss her so much and was very thankful that I could be with her for a few days and just LOVE HER! She forgave so many at the end. As you said, do it now!
Hoping that you are healing well and quickly.
warmly,
deb

Barb @ My Cottage On The Lake said...

Miss R.

Just came over to thank you for your sweet note....I really appreciate you and the effort it took to leave this for me.

I love you also.

xoB

Victorian1885 said...

Dearest Rebecca
I am glad you are on the mend from your hand surgery.
Thank you for sharing Linda's story... life is so short and we should hold all of our loved ones tight no matter what our differences.
Happy New Year to you & your Family!
Hugs,
Wanda

Bohemian said...

What a deeply Personal Post, I'm so very sorry to hear of the Loss of your Dear Friend and Condolences to all whose lives she touched in such a profound way.

My Nanna always said to never allow the Sun to set on your Anger or Negativity and there is much Wisdom in that advice. If you close each day in Peace and with Positive Energy there can be fewer regrets to deal with each New Morning. May your Friend's Family draw Closer and know that their Presence at her bedside was Powerful and 'Spoke' Volumes about their Love and Concern for her.

May you too continue to Receive a Healing Touch as you recover from your surgery.

Happy New Year from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Jen said...

Thank you for this post Rebecca. I think when you have siblings, many or few, it is inevitable that things are not always wonderful. However, this post makes me think of what is important and what is not.
Happy that you are healing well.
Take care

Carolyn said...

Hi Rebecca,

So sorry about the loss of your high school friend. Can't imagine how painful it is for her sisters. I have not lost a sibling yet...can't imagine. This story is certainly a wake up call to our squabbles..sometimes it just seems life will always go on and we are fooled into believing there's plenty of time to make mends. Obviously, as in this case, it was not true.

Blessings my friend...oh, P.S. I had 2 chuckle with ur last sentence. The whole time I am reading, I couldn't stop thinking, wow, you are healing quite nicely (as no man is going to trouble himself with such a lenghty girly blog post)...then when I read of your honey's assistance, I had to laugh! Hooray for true, loving men!! :D

xoxo Carolyn

Diane Porazzo said...

Hi Rebecca,
I happened on your blog site and all your writing hit home for me..I too lost a friend 3 days before Christmas and it is tough...I know that to trust in Jesus is the way to go and so doing that I know my friend and yours are in their glory. That serves as a great comfort to me. My daughter just lost her friend yesterday at the age of 42..she leaves wonderful husband and two darling little girls. Each day is a gift and I truly hope to see it that way more than ever. Just wanted to offer my sympathy and pray your recovery will be swift.
Warmest Regards,
Diane (babiesbridesandlavender.com)

Pink Roses and Teacups said...

Hello sweet Rebecca,

I am glad that you are on the mend from your hand surgery. Your post was very touching. Sorry to hear about your dear friend. Hoping you have a quick recovery.

Hugs,
Debbie xxoo

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Rebecca,
Before I go to bed, happy Birthday to Steven! Hope you are healing well. Wishing you both the very best.
Hugs,
Mariette

Simply Debbie said...

Dear Rebecca,
I am very glad you are healing.
So very sorry about your friend, Linda. I will keep her family in prayer.
hugs

Barb @ My Cottage On The Lake said...

Miss R,

Just checking to make sure you are okay. I continue in prayer for you.

Love,B

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Oh Rebecca.. I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your friend... And, of course.... you know my story, so your post smacked me right upside the head. I'm going to be mulling this over and trying to figure out how to "make my path straight"... I'm stubborn, you know.

Love you girl... glad you're feeling some better... you'll be zipping along soon, now that the casts are coming off.

xoxoxoxo
Spence

romance-of-roses said...

Hello Dear Rebecca, I was not aware of your hand surgery and sincerely wish you the very best in healing and feeling new again. Love your post and so sorry about your high school friend. Hope you can visit my blog and see a picture of me when I was 16 that my hubby had painted of me, on silk, when he was in Japan, many years ago. Blessings...Lu

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