Tuesday, December 7, 2010

~IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT BEING HAPPY~

"There but by the grace of God, go I"

I just couldn't blog about "happy" today and so my Giveaway Post and the sharing of making our Christmas Treats 2010 won't start until tomorrow.  I'm sorry.  Sometimes life-altering stuff barges in changing things up, successfully refocusing my attention on what really matters to me.


I'm soooo bummed today because a woman I thought highly of, Elizabeth Edwards, passed away from Breast Cancer.  Although I have no grandiose thoughts that she was some perfect woman (or wife, mother, lover, daughter, sister or friend) I find I am distressed that her dearly loved (and minor) children will continue to grow up without their Momma's physical presence in their lives.  I believe she was a lovely lady and I saw her rise to a level of grace I know in my own heart I would have never been able to attain.  I'm saddened deeply by her passing for I prayed and believed God would heal her.


I believe in healing...I believe it in a lot, even.  And although I've never been one to question God about things I must admit that Elizabeth's death has been upsetting to me...  I find I want to scream out to the heavens and do what I never do and that is ask "WHY?"  I'm praying today that God knows my heart...


And so...I spent most of my day today just trying to trust that God sees the bigger picture of our lives.  I spent many hours focusing on being thankful that I have not had to walk the path Elizabeth walked during the past 10 plus years of her life.  I'm quite sure she'd have gladly given away her money and her assets for another year day hour of life with her family...


Aside from a thousand and one different things, I'm thankful today that...
I've never lost and buried a child...
I've never had to face a devastating diagnosis...
I've never had to deal with an unfaithful husband...
~(I'm trying to HOLD BACK HERE!)~
or
struggle with the knowledge I would never live to see my children grown...

Today I'm thankful for Grace, Peace, Faith and Love and that somehow the very bitter cup that befell Elizabeth somehow passed by me.

I'm more grateful than I have words to say...

Love to you...

39 comments:

ShirleyC said...

That is very sad, and she did seem to be an inspiring person.
I just wish someone could tell me how to help our grandson deal with the deaths of 2 of his friends over the weekend. He has a very strong faith, but he is still having a hard time.

C'est Moi, Julie Marie said...

I too am saddened over her death Rebecca... it hits very close to home for me as I lost my sweet sister Jo to breast cancer three years ago... she was a survivor for three years, then it returned and we lost her... I watched her go through this devastating disease with such faith and strength and courage, I don't know how she did it... each time I hear about another woman passing away from breast cancer, I feel like another little part of me dies as well... thank you for honoring Elizabeth Edwards... xoxo Julie Marie

Heaven's Walk - said...

Oh, Rebecca.....we are all mourning with you, sweetie. She was a wonderful woman. My heart breaks that you are taking this so hard and that it's left you frustrated and questioning. :( I will certainly keep you in my prayers, too, and hope that you will once again feel God's peace that transcends all understanding....

xoxo laurie

Marilyn said...

I know how you feel about asking for healing for someone. My thoughts are that we don't always know the kind of healing God has planned for us. My favorite prayer is from Jan Karon's Mitford books-"Thy will be done" often said by Father Tim. Those four words have helped me accept things that I don't understand and most likely never will.

Your friends will be waiting for when you are ready to share your 'happy' post, if not tomorrow, another day.

Love and peace to you, my dear friend. ♥♫

vintage girl at heart said...

I have also had a heavy (and I will admit hateful at times)) heart today about such a wonderful woman and what she has endured!!
She always handled her life with Grace and Dignity in whatever came her way..like a true lady.
I found out today that she is from my hometown which made me feel even more nostalgic.
I will have her Family in my prayers...especially her two young ones. I heard that she wanted her older daughter to have custody of the mand I hope her wishes are honored in that respect.
Thanks for this post.

jojo said...

Thank you for the lovely post today Rebecca. I have been struggling with some of the same feelings here...it was like she was a friend although we had never met. Unfortunately we had some things in common and it was those very reason that I felt a connection to her. Having to bury your first born son is the most difficult thing one can do...It makes the cancer walk seem less difficult. I feel such sadness for her children and pray her wonderful heart will help them now. She certainly deserved better...

Jan's Blog said...

I share your feelings today. I was saddened and even shocked to hear that she had passed. I had breast cancer a year after she did and have been blessed to be cancer free since then. I don't have children. I wonder that it makes sense that she's gone and I'm here. However, I trust my Heavenly Father and know that all is as it should be, despite how hard it is to take sometimes. Nothing happens in our lives that isn't supposed to. At times like this I just try to get quiet and pensive and allow myself to feel God's loving arms surround me with comfort. He's always there when I need Him. His comfort never fails me. I grieve for Elizabeth's family and especially her children. I hurt for them. I'm sure that she prepared them well though, and that she will bless them all the days of their lives. Thanks Rebecca for opening this topic. It helps to talk about it and know others join me and you in our grief!!!

Tanza said...

Amen to this sweet ~r~,
I too, thought of her as a lovely woman, with more patience, grace, and love than most !! And for one so loved to leave this earth at Christmas time !! Soo SaD !!

It hit especially hard knowing that we will be going to Lori's service and life celbration tomorrow !! In the midst of all the Christmas celebrations, we are sending a loved one into heaven .. We know there is no pain or tears there, and I do believe, we leave this earth into the presence of our Heavenly Father, who picks us up, and embraces us like no other .. I hope your broken, heavy heart is lighter in the morning, and remember it's our hope and faith in HiM that lifts us like no other .. God is good my friend .. whisper a prayer for us tomorrow, and I will for you ..

I LoVe my sweet friend, and want your heart to feel, happy, and fluffy, and fuzzy warm ..

LoVe to you this very day ~
~ tea ~ xo

sonya said...

Dear Rebecca,
It is so heartbreaking I know. My sympathy is to her dear children. No, we can't understand why people are taken away when we feel they are still "needed" here. But one thing that helps me get through the sadness and pain is praising our Lord. Read Psalms 146 and 147. When we lost our dear SIL I read these and turned on worship music and sang to my Lord (of course crying too) and it emptied my heart of sadness and I was filled with His Holy Spirit,love and peace that I couldn't find from anything on this earth. I pray that it will work for you too, friend. I have confidence in the Lord that it will.
Counting my blessings,
Sonya

Miss Rhea said...

She was healed sweetie :) And is in Our Saviors Arms. What better place is there to be ? Please don't be sad for her, she IS healed and happy now and with her child and Jesus. Be sad for her family that are left in this fallen world to grieve for her. I would trade places with her in a heartbeat right now. Rejoice !!! One more is safely home !! :) We are but moments here. We have to give it all we have, then be ready to give it all back. It is wonderful that her suffering is over, both with her illness and that husband of hers. Rejoice ! Because of what she went through her life had Such tremendous meaning and she was able to touch so many people with her gentle strength and grace. I know she is now being told " Well done, Good and Faithful Servant! " Think how Awesome that must be ? I think it is so wonderful how much you love others and hurt for them, but I think she would want to see your smiles for her :) :) I hope you feel better tomorrow sweet friend :) :) Hugs :) :) :)

Joanie said...

Like you, Rebecca, I also was saddened to hear of Elizabeth Edward's passing. I pray that she's found peace in the arms of our Savior and that her family finds comfort in the palm of His hand. Thank you for such a thought provoking post.

God bless...

Ceekay- Thinkin of Home said...

I am very sad too. And I held back in my post also, cuz I could be very unkind about him. But she was full of grace and dignity, despite all she faced.

Mariette said...

Dearest Rebecca,

Glad you got to write this off your chest! What a lovely tribute to Elizabeth Edwards. Thanks for opening your heart and your inner thoughts. Good for pausing a moment and continue tomorrow again with those chores that seem suddenly less important!

Have a nice day!

Mariette's Back to Basics

Mari said...

AHHH SWEETIE, SORRY YOUR SAD ABOUT HER PASSING,I AM TOO, IT JUST DOES NOT SEEM FAIR, HER CHILDREN WILL MISS HER DEARLY!! HOPE YOU WILL FIND PEACE SWEETIE, I BELIEVE IN MY HEART THAT SHE HAS FOUND HER PEACE WITH OUR SAVIOR :)

HUGLETS~XO~MARI

Sue said...

You have written so eloquently what is in my heart today too, Rebecca, as I was so saddened to hear of her passing. Thank you for sharing your heart today.
Much love,
Sue

Blondie's Journal said...

I was so saddened as well when I heard the news. She really was an extraordinary woman and we have lost a very inspiring soul.

XO,
Jane

PinkGranny said...

Ironically, I read our paper online this morning and read that Elizabeth may pass at any time. That was after 8 Pacific Time and as I look at updates she had already passed into our Father's arms. I was so surprised when I received an email from a friend. I feel most for her children. She is healed, as someone else mentioned.

I am a 7-year survivor and I did experience survivor's guilt for a time. Now I volunteer for Susan G. Komen for the Cure, to make a difference. It does make a difference, each time I see how we touch other lives with hope and strength. I believe that Elizabeth would want the same. In fact, she did advocate for women and breast cancer. We have a gift to share our love and care about each other. Lets spread this wealth and honor those who have gone ahead along home.

Laura's Rose Garden said...

Oh Rebecca,
I am so sorry that you are sad and hurting. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes we do not agree with nor approve of His plans.
Temper your grief with the knowledge that Elizabeth Edwards lived everyone of her sixty-one years with passion and fervor. Her faith was unwavering. Perhaps God's mission for her was to endure all of her hardships (her son's untimely death, her cancer and her husband's blatant infidelity )and show us that we, as women, can continue in spite of all our woes and live with graciousness and die with dignity, and that she did!
I will leave you with her last quote from her Facebook page,
“ You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human.
But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know."

—Elizabeth Edwards

Take care my wonderful friend. God is good. Elizabeth Edwards was blessed.
Love and warm hugs, Laura

Donna said...

I was saddened too by her passing. I read her book several years ago and was so inspired by her. I feel for her children as they are so young. Losing her son Wade in an accident I know was devastating. I heard her say that losing a child was the worst thing a parent could go through. Now I know ... my precious daughter, Amber went to Heaven last year and it has been the worst thing imaginable. I remember reading in her book about going to the cemetery everyday for months. I still go everyday to Amber's gravesite just to make sure her flowers are okay. I feel like it is the only thing I can do for her as a mother. I will put a small tree by her headstone this weekend.
One thing I remember in an interview was she knew she would see her son again and that is what I always will remember.
Death is not so scary when you know you will see your children again.
Love your blog.
Blessings,
Donna

chandelier magic said...

I'm sad about Elizabeth Edwards too, Rebecca.

I agree with all the comments - you beautifully put into words what I am thinking.

Hug, Love, and Cherish those you love...
Marsha

Nichole said...

I think we were both sad today. I consider myself to be positive, but sometimes this world brings me down...
God Bless all the children missing their mothers and all the mothers missing their children.
XO

Blessings from Cindy said...

Rebecca,
What a lovely tribute to a very inspirational lady. I was so saddened when I heard of her passing also. She had such grace and loved her children so. I had hoped that she would have her dream to be with her children until they were grown, but it didn't happen. We don't understand why God chooses to take someone when they have young children. My cousin passed away when she had two children, 7 & 10 yrs old at the time. They have blossomed & I contribute that to their mother's influence, as well as their father who rose to the upbringing of them splendidly. I feel that Elizabeth is with Our Heavenly Father and not hurting anymore. She will be remembered fondly by many including me. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and such a heartfelt tribute.
Blessings,
Cindy

Terra said...

Rebecca, Mrs. Edwards was a lady who displayed real dignity and grace, and it is sad she left her family so soon.

Anne - Fiona and Twig said...

Well said, Rebecca.
My thoughts and prayers are with her precious children.

Home and Heart said...

I am SO very sorry for the loss of your dear friend! I personally don't believe all things happen for a reason.
The Bible says "time and unforseen occurrence befall us all". I also don't think we die due to lack of faith.
I do believe God is righteous and although at this time he allows bad things, he will make it up to us.

My heart goes out to you and the children. I am sad with you.

Ann Nichols said...

I am so sorry to read this, Rebecca. All good things come from God above; all bad things- most importantly death - do not come from Him. He is the one who crys the hardest when death's sting is felt by us... and then, He is the one who welcomes us into his warm embrace. May the glorious peace of Christ fill your spirit.
Blessings,
Ann

Theresa said...

I know, Rebecca! So sad! She was a wonderful lady and lived her life to the end and died gracefully! I am praying for all of the family! I know their loss is enormous! HUGS!

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Beautiful thoughts Rebecca.... you have a way of saying what I'm feeling....

Hugs dear one...

Spence

NanaDiana said...

My post today was about Elizabeth Edwards also...great minds think alike, don't they? I,too, am very saddened by her death. Thank you for this heartfelt post. xxooDiana

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Rebecca thank you for putting into words what I am feeling about the passing of Elizabeth Edwards. I am so sad and feel a weight on my heart. My prayers are with her family and especially her sweet children.

Jan M said...

A lovely and heart touching tribute. I watched my sister die of cancer and leave two children. It is something I wish no one else ever had to experience. There is a bigger picture, and hopefully someday we will all see it -- as clearly as dear Elizabeth now does. Hugs and hopes for happier days.

Tea Duchess said...

God always hears our prayers, but some times the answer is, 'no'. May you feel His comfort at this time. {{{hugs}}}

Grandma Nina said...

Lovely words for Elizabeth, Rebecca. I also found myself very sad about this yesterday and thoughts of putting myself in her place for the last several years and how I would have handled it. I'm sure not as well as she did. She truly was a classy lady!

GARAGE SALE GAL said...

Your post almost had me crying like a baby...It is hard to question God...trusting His Plan is always better...
Your home is very Lovely!!! So much Christmas happiness.
Congrat's to the winner too!..
It's been a little busy and now I can start to enjoy and prepare for Christmas.
Thanks for visiting me!
Warmly,
deb

Roselle said...

Dear Rebecca: I read your post early today but had to run out. It made me sad for you. I looked at her passing as her being reunited with her son. I am sorry for her children and those that loved her she left behind, but not for her, if that makes sense. I lost my mother when I was 22 (my brother was only 19) so I know the pain of that. My heart goes out to her kiddies but I know she is in a better place now with Wade. Be well sweet lady! I hope your heavy heart lightens as you think of Elizabeth with our Lord.
P.S. The comments on this post have me crying! Harumph! LOL
xoxo
Roselle

Mary Albrethsen said...

My heart breaks for her children and friends. She showed so much faith, love, class and grace. It is so sad that her children have lost their only loving parent. I truly do not see how she stood up to all the heartbreak she faced. May God grant her peace and hold her children In His Arms.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I am so touched that you mentioned Elizabeth. She fought such a hard fight...
My sweet baby sister is under going treatment at this very moment and has been for some time. This truly frightened me.
I pray that something is done soon to stop such things from happening...

Simply Debbie said...

REBECCA,
I WAS SOOOO VERY SADDENED FOR ELISABETHS' 3 CHILDREN ESPICALLY LITTLE JACK AND MARY CLAIRE.I JUST WANTED TO RUSH TO THEIR HOME AND HOLD THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THEIR MOTHER WILL ALWAYS BE WITH THEM AND I THINK EVERY MOTHER IN AMERICA WANTED TO DO SO.
I SAW ELISABETH TALKING ON LARRY KING JUNE 30, 2010 AND SHE STATED SHE WANTED TO LIVE AT LEAST 8 MORE YEARS TO SEE A GLIMPSE OF WHAT MY CHILDREN WILL BE. IF I DON'T I WILL BE SADDENED FOR MY CHILDREN AND MYSELF. SHE LIVED 6 MONTHS AFTER SHE SAID THAT. AMY LIVED 53 DAYS AFTER THEY TOLD US THERE WAS NOTHING MORE THAT COULD BE DONE.
I AM SOOOO HAPPY ELISABETH IS NOT ONLY IN THE ARMS OF OUR PRECIOUS JESUS BUT IS REUNITED WITH WADE, HER SON. THE THOUGHT OF THAT REUNION MAKES ME WEEP.
THEY SAID THAT RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT GRIEF IN ITSELF CAN LOWER THE IMMUNE SYSTEM IMMENSELY AND CAN SET UP HOUSEKEEPING FOR CANCER TO GROW. ELISABETH CERTAINLY KNEW HER SHARE OF SADNESS. I ADMIRED HER GRACE, HER LOVE OF HER CHILDREN, AND HER WILLINGNESS TO KEEP THAT MAN AS PART OF THE FAMILY AS THEY WOULD NEED THEIR DADDY. WHEN LARRY KING TOLD HER, SHOULD SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU, THEY WILL BE BRUTAL TO JOHN.....SHE SAID, I KNOW THAT BUT I WISH OR HOPE THEY WOULD NOT AS IT WOULD HURT THE CHILDREN.
SHE WAS ALWAYS CONCERNED FOR HER CHILDREN AND THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD SEPERATE HER FROM THEM FOR A TIME WOULD BE CONQUERING DEATH.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL POST REBECCA. YOU FEEL SO FROM YOUR HEART.
HUGS
SIMPLY DEBBIE

Debbie@Debbie-Dabble said...

Rebecca,
I too was very saddened by Elizabeth Edward's passing. I guess because i have a close friend whose cancer is progressing much the same way as Elizabeth's did. My friend had breast cancer, then bone cancer having her hip radiated last Christmas and is now recieving chemo because of cancer in her liver.
Elizabeth's passing scared me because I fear for my dear friend.

Hugs,
Debbie

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