Thursday, May 5, 2011

~WHEN THE TIME COMES~

 ~MY FATHER~
1955/1956

“God will help you deal with whatever hard
things come up when the time comes.” 
Matthew 6:34
(The Message)

It’s been over eight years since my father was moved into a nursing home to live out the remainder of his days.  Since that early spring evening in 2003 I’ve watched him decline and change both mentally and physically into someone I barely recognize.  His once vibrant mind has faded while his strong, capable hands have grown fragile and weak.
~BEAUTIFUL and YOUNG~
1955/56

His cocky good looks, neatly trimmed mustache and Cheshire Cat grin can now only be seen in pictures.  It’s common place for me to keep them close at hand.   They remain a gentle reminder of the man I use to know.
 ~NOVEMBER 23, 1955~
WEDDING DAY

Truthfully, just hearing the word “Alzheimer’s” is overwhelming.  I hate it.  I want to curse it.  Yell, scream and stomp and kick my feet at it every single day.  I want to throw a tantrum and flail my arms and shake my fist at it.  I want to act like a bully and beat it up.
Tear it limb from limb.
I want to bloody up this faceless, callous ogre.
I want to kill and destroy the heinous thief that came in the cool of the night and robbed my family and I of what we hold so dear...
 ~A LOVELY BRIDE~
1955

 And then, just as my humanity is about to get the best of me and I fear I've left the presence of the Most High, I catch sight of my Mother as she shares a fleeting moment in time with my Father.  She is long past the point of questioning or displaying negative emotion.  I dally in the shadows to watch for a bit as she sits lovingly beside the man of her dreams, the very person who continues to be the keeper of her heart.
 ~MY PARENTS 1963~

With a clear view of her selfless abandon, I look from a distance as she tends to the needs of the husband of her youth.  I breathe in their most private of moments and watch quietly as she performs, with steely determination, the care she’s become best known for.  Decidedly she moves closer to her aging beau, content to be fully present in their journey of silence.  She has loved this man in sickness and in health for more than a half a century and I know from experience she won’t waste a moment of time uttering words in bitterness or anger over a disease she has somehow managed to accept. 
 
~MY MOTHER TODAY~

Through misty, watery eyes I choke back what are now familiar tears.  I watch as she lifts her right hand, gently stroking my father’s silvery white hair before carefully tucking the bed covers up under his chin.  Night has fallen and she must leave him once again. She gently kisses his check while whispering something I’m quite sure only his heart could hear…
~MOMMA and ME~
1959

From an adjoining room I listen as my Mother gathers her belongings and makes her way down the long corridor that will eventually lead her back home.
She will never know of my presence on this night...
Never know I was watching from a distance
the truest of loves play out...
Never know how I long to be more like her...

Beautiful Mother I have.
Beautiful, beautiful Mother.

~~*~~

Love to you as you honor the women in your life who've helped mold and make you into the person you are today…

46 comments:

Karen said...

Rebecca, this is so very touching. We never cease learning from our parents.
Take care.
Karen
Ladybug Creek

sissie said...

Hello sweet Rebecca,
I'm reading your beautiful words and tribute to your loving parents and I'm shedding tears of understanding.
God Bless your loving Mother and you for being the lovely daughter that appreciates and loves her.

hugs
Sissie

Hillcresthome Prims said...

This was a wonderful and heartfelt post of your parents. God Bless you!
Spring Blessings,
Tricia

The Green Pea said...

A beautiful post from a loving daughter. Thank you for sharing your story. God Blessed you with wonderful parents. sandi

shawkl said...

Thank you Rebecca. You post today means more than I can say. I'm crying with you this morning; and remembering how very much my own Mom means to me...and how many times a day I forget to let her know how much she means to me. Your post makes me want to do more. Thank you.
Kathy
www.shawkl.com

NanaDiana said...

Rebecca-Well...now you've gone and done it -I am at work and bawling! I saw this in my own life too-only it was my mother that was afflicted. It is a dreadful, hateful disease! God bless your Mom AND you! xxoo Diana

Abby's Garden said...

Such a beautiful tribute to your mom...you brought tears to my eyes.

Abby

NanE said...

Oh Rebecca, I have tears running down my cheeks as I read this very poignant post. What a wonderful tribute not only to your Mom but for the love they share, even today. I never got to see my parents grow old together but they too shared this once in a lifetime forever love. May you find peace knowing that deep in his heart, he does remember and one day they will share it again. Blessings, Nan

Katies Rose Cottage Designs said...

Oh my gosh Rebecca ~ I am literally sitting here with tears streaming down my face and a huge lump in my throat ~
I cannot imagine what you are going through ~ These are the times that all you can do is pray and know that your heavenly Father cares for you and your father and mother more than we can even fathom ~

hugs
Lori

Rita said...

Oh Rebecca, what a beautiful tribute to a lovely mother! It's those sneak peeks into their lives when they aren't looking that makes life so precious. I'm so glad that you got to see that. Happy Mother's day to you, a lovely mother yourself.

Tanza said...

Good morning sweet, sweet, wonderful friend YoU !! Thank you soo much for thinking of me, and sending me sweet words and birthday wishes !! YoU yourself are amazing, and soo selfless, and caring .. There is a special place for you in my heart !! I not only admire you and what you are, BuT, am so grateful for such a friendship, time can go quickly by, BuT, talking to you, seems like we don't EvEn miss a beat !! Always there, and thinking of you, life zooms by, and it's the friendships, and kinness of others' that make such a BiG diffence in a day !! You started MY day off extra special, and hope this finds you well, and doing wonderful things today as well !! Making pretty I'm sure !! Your talents and gifts bless me daily .. Soo much of you surrounds me daily !! Every nook and cranny has a BiT of Rebecca, and you touch my heart more than you will EvEr know !!

Thanks again sweet friend of mine, and we will chat more soon .. LoVe to you this very day of mine :):)

Big hugs ~TeA~ xo

Julie Marie said...

Such a beautiful and touching tale dear Rebecca... your mama is beautiful, inside and out... just like her daughter... my tears are flowing at this tender time... xoxo Julie Marie

Theresa said...

Dear sweet Rebecca, our Mothers teach when they don't know it! Your Mother is a beautiful Lady with a Heart that belongs to your precious Daddy! It breaks my heart that Alzheimer's takes so many of our days from us! It is an ugly disease and took my Uncle just recently! My Aunt stayed with him, cared for him and loved him just like she ALWAYS had!

Love to you my friend and BIG HUGS to you, your beautiful Mama and Your Handsome Daddy!

Marilyn said...

This was like reading my life several years ago as my Dad suffered from the same condition. Only my parents had been divorced when I was a child & the woman who I honor too this year is my step-mom. She is one of my best friends & she loved my father to a fault.
My Dad is gone now.... finally released from the prision of his mind in 2005.....
We can only hope to be like the women who loved our Dads!!
Love,
Marilyn

Mari said...

AWWW MY FRIEND HOW VERY TOUCHING, THIS BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES :)

XO~MARI

Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

I am almost in tears, but I am at work reading this and my co-workers will think I have lost my mind. Just a little humor for you my sweet friend. Lord only knows we need the humor.

I feel so deeply that somehow your precious and dear daddy knows that he is loved and cared for and that unconditional Love he receives every day touches his heart. I think touching the heart is more important than touching the mind.

God is good and he is watching over your daddy and the rest of his family. There is so much love there and that is the most precious gift of all. You may not be communicating with words, but you are communicating with Love.
xoxo, Sue

Anonymous said...

REBECCA... WHEN YOU WRITE ABOUT YOUR DAD... ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY...YOUR MOM IS SUCH A SPECIAL LADY... TO CARE AND BE WITH YOUR DAD , NO MATTER WITH HIS ILLNESS,,,, MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS "MOM",,, ALWAYS ,, THANKS FOR SHARING.... LOVING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.... LOHOMA

Sherri B. said...

The tears are running down my face reading the thoughts of your heart that you chose to share with us...Only The Lord can help us be strong like your precious mother.

Mary Ann said...

Rebecca, very touching words. It is so hard to see you parents grow old sometimes. Your mom is so very lovely!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mary Ann

Jen said...

What a beautiful post. This will be my first Mother's day without my Mom. She died of this dreaded disease last October. I hold on to my memories of her.

Jeannette

Deanna said...

how very special that you observed this moment.
d

Suzann said...

Rebecca,
What a sweet tribute to your mother and her love for your father.
I am at work with tears streaming down my cheeks.
You always have sweet posts and I love to visit.
Suzann ~xoxo~

Antiques And Teacups said...

When we give ourselves in love to our spouse as Christ gave Himself for His church it is truly beautiful. And what a wonderful example of selfless love...love that cannot be repaid, full of grace and mercy...the love He has for us. You have a treasure of an example of the best we can be through His love.
Thanks fo sharing.
Ruth

chateau de fleurs said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing your heart. Happy Mothers to you dear Rebbecca. XO, Christie

Whimsey Creations said...

I'm glad that you were able to witness that kind of love - the kind that really really counts. I've found that most women do what they have to do and it's a smart and blessed woman who can do it with grace. Hugs!

Passionate for White said...

Beautifully written....

Anonymous said...

Alright Rebecca...now that brought tears to my eyes! What a sweet commentary on your Mom for Mother's Day! Blessed my heart.

Thank you,
Lisa B.

Ldy ~~ Dy said...

A beautiful tribute to your mother...my heart has been touched by your sweet and loving words.

karen said...

Thanks you Rebecca. Your post helped me today. I was having a bad day too. Thank you again.

karen said...

Wonderful pictures. Happy Moms day to you and your mom.

Anonymous said...

Becky-
I just finished reading your post. Needless to say~ My heart skipped a beat and my breath was taken away. My emotions, I fear, got the best of me and the tears flowed.

Thsnk you. my beautiful daughter, for your kind words and loving spirit. Your post revealed the true essence of my being~

Your father is and always will be "The Love of my Life." God has Blessed us beyond measure~ I count our Blessings every day.

Happy Mother's Day.

Love you Forever-- Mom

" SHABBY JUNK" said...

Rebecca, it a horrible thing to see your parents decline. So very sad. He is a handsome man. Love your photos. judy

~Shabby~Prim~Delights~ said...

I have never read anything so beautifully written as that....you are the treasure that holds your family dear...you are their jewel in their crown. Your mother must be an amazingly strong woman who has accepted her lot and carries on...making the most of what she has. We can all hope to be like her and deal with what life throws at us.
Thankyou for sharing your sweet post.
Warm wishes
Michelle

Elizabeth and Gary said...

Dear Rebecca,
A loving and touching post. Your Mom's love for your Dad is beautiful and heartfelt. Love never goes away just because one gets sick, I think it makes you love them even more no matter what.
Happy Mothers day to your sweet Mom and to you dear Rebecca, enjoy the day with the ones you love the most!
Have the sweetest of days,Big hugs, Elizabeth

Marilyn said...

It sounds like you learned from one of God's best MOTHERs. May you all be blessed today and each day that you share with both your mom and daddy. ♥♫

Dolores said...

Oh Rebecca ..... this is the sweetest tribute honoring your mother.

I read this post this morning, but I was crying too much to write, and here I am again sobbing.

This awful/dreadful Alzheimer's disease is so horrible!!! David's on a big decline...breaks my heart and scares me so much. I thank God for the good years we've had, the memories and pictures.

I love your beautiful pictures !!!!

Love,

Celestina Marie Designs said...

Hi Dear Rebecca,
Just a beautiful and touching real and true story that is being lived at the very moment. This is what love really is. Your mother is a grand lady.
Blessings to your mother and dad everyday.
Best wishes for a Happy Mother's day my friend.
Love to you, Celestina Marie

Lynn Richards said...

Truly, Rebecca, the most wonderful post ever. Blessings to your mom.
xoxo
lynn

The Polka Dot Closet said...

Rebecca, this just rips my heart out, what a cruel disease...I can't imagine any thing worse than watching someone you love fade away!

Carol

chicroses said...

Here I sit with tears in my eyes...I have experienced the alzheimers with hubbys uncle. It is horrific in every aspect of life.I dont have my mother or father and its been over 20yrs. Oh how I miss them both. Ive learned to live without them but miss them terribly.Enjoy every minute you have with both. Once their gone there is silence. Sally

LadyBugLuv said...

Dear Rebecca:


You have a special mother who is very devoted to your father. She exemplifies what true love really is, as God has shown us too, that true love is always selfless and other oriented.

I know that it is not easy seeing your father in the condition that he is in. May God give you His peace and blessings on Mother's Day 2011.

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh Rebecca, I am crying..this is such a beautiful post...And, my mom did the exact same thing--my dad had it too and it's so heart-wrenching...

May God be with you and your beautiful family. And I want to wish you and your mom both a Happy Mother's Day.
Love,
Cindy

Mariette said...

Dearest Rebecca,

Yes, silent INNERBEAUTY lives forever inside your Mom and indeed, for better or worse -- without questioning this heavy burden any longer... Happy Mother's Day with sweet thoughts!

Lots of love,

Mariette

Crown of Beauty said...

Hi, I came over from Lea's blog. What a lovely post, what a heartfelt tribute you have written for you mother. After reading this post, I needed a few minutes to let savor the sacred encounter I had with the Life Giver Himself... our Heavenly Father.

Thank you. This post has inspired me to be a living example of selfless love to others - to love and give love not only when it is easy to do so, but especially when it is difficult.

Blessings,
Lidia

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Rebecca, this post just gives me goosebumps. A true tribute to BOTH of your parents. It is a horrid disease. Two of my friends have both lost parents to it, years before their time. My heart aches for you and your dear mother.

Hugs and Prayers,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Lululiz said...

This brought tears to my eyes.

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