THINKING OF YOU, DADDY...from Becky Sue

Life has changed a lot for me since my beloved Father passed away a little over three years ago.  Even though my memory of him is as lovely as ever, I've never really reconciled myself with his passing.  I've been able to accept his death...just not the circumstances surrounding it.

And I doubt I ever will.

As an adult I remained extremely close to my Dad and watching his mind fade into some dark and unknown place was very, very difficult.  He lingered so long between reality and fractured remembrances of his younger self that when death finally came I understood it to be the greatest show of mercy God could bestow upon him.

And me.

Not long ago my mother, sister and I went through some of my Father's belongings that had been stored away for over a decade.  Most of the hundreds of boxes held books...but some held keepsakes that obviously were very dear to my Dad and there were a handful of photos as well.  Some I hadn't seen since I was a young child...some I had never seen.  Even though it was a task that had to be done, I couldn't help but feel I was invading his personal space.

 

I wondered if he was looking down upon the three of us while we worked or if he was busy doing other things...

You know, things like sitting in the presence of the God...walking the streets of gold while taking in the heavenly scenery...chatting with those who had gone on before him.

I didn't know.

 

My Dad was a very complex and private person and even sometimes secretive.  I hated being inside that storage unit and as each box was opened I came face to face with telltale signs of the mental illness that was beginning to steal away the Father I had known and loved for all my life. 

 

Obsessive and compulsive behavior could be seen at every turn.

Lists and more lists...and then even more lists.

Each box carefully tagged with excessive ramblings and taped closed as if golden nuggets were safely tucked inside.

My Father.  Complicated and mysterious as times.  And one of the two greatest men I've ever known.

 

Today, as I think about my Father, I'm buoyed by the legacy of  hope that remained within his heart until the day of his passing.  His unwavering faith in God and his steadfast belief that somehow, someday, I'd get things right.  That eventually I'd find a way to live my life to the fullest while being content with the simplest of blessings~

Like the first violet blooms of spring...

The seemingly endless heat from a summer's day...

The quiet rustle of autumn leaves...

Or winter's coldest breath...

 You know, just regular old days that are so easy to ignore.

Life.  We have only one.

I'm trying my best to live mine out in truth and I hope, pray my Father would be proud.

Thank you, Daddy, for helping to plant my feet upon the Solid Rock.

I love you.

I miss you.

~*~

Blessings~

Rebecca

~TATTERED VINTAGE LACE PILLOWS ARE SEW SWEET~

I've been working in my studio this week and trust me when I tell you I've torn everything up.  Vintage lace and fabric are all over the place...  It's everywhere except for where it's supposed to be I'm afraid!  But...that's OK!  I actually work better sometimes when things are a tad bit messy!  Lots of trims and old fabric finds have been removed from their respective hiding places and are now out into the open so I can see what I'm looking for.

It's been organized chaos!

 

I'm also in the middle of painting an old maple chest of drawers that I hope will be lovely once it's finished.  My Mr. AGP Man and I snagged some great deals at an estate sale we went to last Saturday in Oklahoma City.  Most of the offerings were out of my price range, but a few were a good fit and so we hauled them home.  Will share some photos with you soon!  All of the vintage chairs (4) we found were crying out for a makeover!

 

Oh...and have you tried the Chalky Paint from Lowe's?  I know I'm late for the party here...everyone seems to be offering up chalk paint these days.  I actually love Lowe's brand.  I'ved used it on several pieces for my own home, but nothing for sale yet!  I don't think it's as good as Annie Sloan's Chalk Paint, but it's better than a few of the other brands I've tried.  I still make my own chalk paint and I've tried several methods and they all work great.  I only use the real stuff if a customer requests a specific brand or color...

My favorite go-to paint is FLAT PAINT in a soft white.  I use it for almost everything!

All the pillows shown I finished this week and have been uploaded to my website (RebeccaVintage.com).

I work slower than usual these days and I hate that! 

 Summer heat has Oklahoma feeling the burn.  The cool Spring days are over for now.

Oh...and one other thing.

We only have 194 days until Christmas!

Thought you might want to know that in case you're falling behind in your shopping.

:) :) :)

Blessings~

Rebecca

~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING..."One Day At A Time"

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think my world gets shaken up a bit because I still have big important life-lessons to learn.   I wish it were possible for me to learn everything I need to know all in one setting.  Then I could go on about my way and live out the glorious plan God has for me and not fret so much.

But, considering the fact I'm super stubborn and extremely opinionated it takes a bit before things sink into my head and even longer for them to reach my heart.

I saw my neurosurgeon last Friday for my three month post-op visit and I was told what I already suspected.  It's going to take another full year for me to recover completely from our car accident from May 2016. "Fused spines heal slowly" he said, "there will be good days and not so good days before you will even come close to becoming your old self!  You must take your recovery as it comes.  One day at a time."

Now, given the fact I'm a get-up-and-go person this was NOT what I wanted to hear.

Doesn't God know I have things to do, projects to finish, a house to clean, books to read and dinner to fix?  Doesn't He know that I have a business to run, friends to lunch with and an elderly mother to attend to?

I've been forced to just sit within the quiet that engulfs my home sometimes and listen to the silence that surrounds me.  I'm working at doing my best to submit to the "one day at a time" thing while remembering my faith is securely anchored in somebody bigger than you and I.

 

Strange as it may seem, I find it here, inside the calm and peace of my La Chaumière de Briarwood, I'm able to offer up my hopes, plans and dreams and fears to the Most High for His safekeeping.  In the midst of the chaos my imperfection brings I will trust Him to do whatever He feels is best for me while guiding me to the place He wants me to be. 

Three-hundred and sixty-five days to go.

I can do it. 

Blessings~

Rebecca