Wednesday, September 15, 2010

~IN MY DISTRESS...and Other Joys That Matter~

~Creating With Joy~

I planned today to share with you a lots and lots of newly designed Hang Tags but~ try as I might I just couldn't free my mind from something that's been pressing in hard on me for quite some time.  Lately it seems the second I sit down to work (or even play) I find I'm continually plagued with the same disturbing thought and have struggled to keep my very real concerns from turning into outright fear.  The possibility of great loss is overwhelming for I know in my heart if someone I deeply love doesn't change the path their life is on they will not live to see many more birthdays.

If you've read my blog for any length of time at all then surely you know by now that I am a person of deep faith.  I know there is nothing I will ever face during my time here on this earth where God is not standing by my side.  I believe in healing, redemption, forgiveness and grace and I continually seek the face of the Most High in all things...even more-so when the storm clouds roll in and darken up my usually bright and sunny disposition.  
~My Father~

This morning I found I was having an especially hard time and trusting God for a positive outcome regarding one I desperately love...it just seemed too out of reach.  It's on days like this, when I feel incredibly confused and unraveled, that I miss the wise counsel of my Father the most.

So~ I decided to pay him an unplanned visit...

Generally I find my Dad sleeping when I stop by his Nursing Home to say hello.  He was never a nap-taker when I was growing up so even though this is now normal for him I can assure you it is not normal for me to see.  He was once very active and never seemed to tire from all things family and ministry related.   But...these days I rarely catch even a glimpse of the man I use to know...

The monster that lives inside my father's head continues to devour more and more of  his once brilliant mind.  I've grown accustomed to one-side conversations and even more recently, painfully silent visitation.  However, this morning as I crept quietly into my father's tiny room I found him both awake and speaking with clarity and purpose...

"Hi Becky Sue!  I was just thinking about you...Dad's been missing his middle girl!"

I stood there for a moment...feeling as if I was caught in some Twilight-Zone chasm, somehow suspended between matter-of-fact reality and my very real dreams...

he continued...

"I was just sitting here trying to remember the words to a hymn we use to sing in church..."

And with that he began to hum the tune to an old Elisha Hoffman song I had learned when just a child...

As I quietly sang aloud the words carved long ago into my memory I smiled as the deep sound of my father's baritone voice began to easily overpower mine...

"I must tell Jesus all of my trials;
I cannot bear these burdens alone;
In my distress He kindly will help me;
He ever loves and cares for His own.

I must tell Jesus!  I must tell Jesus!
I cannot bear my burdens alone;
I must tell Jesus!  I must tell Jesus!
Jesus can help me, Jesus alone."

Suddenly I knew the reason for my visit.

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."
(Richard Bach)

Love to you~
 

63 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

Rebecca your post brought back memories of when my father was dying from lung cancer. Watching day by day my father whom I fiercely love shrivel more and more into a little old man I had never known.
Wasn't the Lord so good prodding you to go take that visit!!! How precious that you were able to sing that song (one of my favorites) to him. I think it is so awesomely amazing how the Spirit continues to work in each of our hearts no matter the circumstances or even where we are mentally- I have seen God break through in so many of my visits to those in their last days and I am always in awe and so thankful for the awesome Father we have!!

bee blessed
mary

Sherri B. said...

God is so good to give you what you needed, an answer from Him through your daddy that you longed council from once again...He never fails us does He?

Dolores said...

Oh sweet Rebecca, I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face.

Just when you needed it most, God gave you a glimpse of your sweet dad the way he was before the disease. ..

I'm so thrilled for you to have this memory..
The song is so beautiful!!!!
Love and Prayers dear friend!

mariondee-designs said...

HI Rebecca, what a wonderful moment to share with your father. I am so happy for you. Sometimes when there is nothing we can physically do to help someone all we can do is pray. Then it is up to God. I hope your'e having a lovely week and just have to add I love, love, love your tags! take care, Maryann

Terra said...

Jesus sent you that song through your dad. The message is beautiful and powerful, and how great you sang it with your dad. The timing was perfect.

Ceekay- Thinkin of Home said...

I am so sorry that you have this heaviness of heart. I too have almost the same one for someone I deeply love. I remember so well that song. I miss the hymns so much. We must keep praying and hoping....I hope you will feel more encouraged with each passing day...

sjmcdowell said...

Rebecca,

I thank you for sharing this with us today.
God is mighty and awesome
in his love for each of us.

Susan

Carolyn said...

Oh my goodness, Rebecca!! My mother too has Alzeheimer's and I know too just what a miracle and a gift that was given to you today!! God knew your heart and your need of reassurance that He is in control....rest your heart in His hands!

Thank you for sharing my friend!
Love & Hugs, Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine

Miss Rhea said...

Hi Sweet Girl. Firstly, know I just lifted prayers for you :) Secondly, I am SO glad your Daddy was able to be your Daddy today :) It is really hard to stand by when someone you love is on a downward spiral, and I pray for strength and the Right Words in due Season for you. Thank you too, for praying for my Mom. I cant outwardly post on my Blog that it is my Mom that has the cancer, we don't want certain family to know, by her request. But I Thank you Dearly for your prayers :) I hope that tomorrow is better for you and Our Father in Heaven wraps His arms around you till you have that Peace that He promises us. :) Hugs :):):)

Sandra said...

Hi Rebecca. I hope you remember me....Oh i'm am crying here. God is always there for us. I felt so so connected to your post because my father in law has Alzhemier's and lately there are times that he doesn't recognize us. At times he thinks that my mother in law (his wife) is his sister Virginia. But no matter what, I still like to chat with him and make him laugh even if he doesn't know why he is laughing.
:( :) I love him like he was my own father. Thank you for sharing with us, Ms Rebecca. (HUGS)
Sandra

Megan Chamberlain said...

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such sadness. Today was a special gift that will stay with you and get you through he hard times. Always remember the good times even when you are sad, they bring such joy and light into your life. Look after yourself and I hope you have more good days with your Dad.

Donna Lynn said...

Dearest Rebecca,
What a bitter sweet moment with your daddy. I grew up singing that song too, I also am a preachers daughter, so neat how we have that in common! I will pray for the person who is not walking as they should, I have a son and DIL who are breaking my mother's heart right now with how they are choosing to live...but, with God all things are possible, to him who believes...I believe!

Keep your chin up and heart to God!
XO,
Donna Lynn

Anonymous said...

What a touching post today, and how wonderful that your daddy was able to know you and to connect with you. I know you miss that from him and today was very SPECIAL in that GOD gave you both a gift just when you were feeling so low, and needed the strenght your daddy used to give you.
God bless each of you every day, my sweet friend...you are the best!
Love, Francy

Tracie~MyPetiteMaison said...

Oh Rebecca,
I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreak concerning your dad. It is wonderful when you visited him today though that he was up and lifted you up as well. I know that happy visit will live in your heart forever and you'll cherish it, that visit with your dad.

I wish I could say something to comfort you, but I know from experience I can't my friend. I will keep you and your father in my prayers. I can tell you, you will so thank this day and the Lord in letting you share this special time with your dear dad (I know you know this ;) Keeping you in my heart.
xo~Tracie

Roselle said...

Dear R~ I got chills reading your post today. You are soooo right there was a point to your visit today. It saddens me to read your distress about your sweet Daddy. I leave you with something MY sweet Daddy always used to say to me "The Lord works in mysterious ways".
xo
Roselle

Lin said...

How thankful I am that you were able to 'visit' with daddy today. I miss him so much and just reading your post gave me comfort. I'm glad you were able to share those moments with him. I'll be praying for you. Love you, Lin

Theresa said...

Oh my precious friend, my heart is with you there! I know from watching my Uncle and his family exactly what you are talking about!

What a sweet day for you to visit and get to see and hear what you needed! God know our needs:)

Love to you and your family! I pray for good days and happier times for your Dad!

HUGS!

Rose said...

i, too have had the saddness with both of my parents. you were being heard and your father at that visit is a treasure. we never know when the mind will come and go. your dad loves you and hold onto this blessing. memmories can be so important when we face a loss.God Bless thanks for your comment on my blog re Europe. you will enjoy it. take care.

sissie said...

Dear sweet Rebecca,
Reading your words today reminded me of the times I would visit my Father at the nursing home. He didn't want to be there but he was stricken with GBS at the age of 80.
He could not move from the shoulders down. I would often find him in the rehab room on an apparatus that helped him to stand.
He would have his bible in front of him and be reading while turning the pages with another apparatus clipped to his hand. My heart would break. His eyes would light up when he saw me but there were times when he would look at me as if he wasn't there.

He's gone now and I miss him so.

My heart aches for you and I am so glad that when you visited him you were blessed.

hugs
Sissie

Shelia said...

Oh, Rebecca! My eyes are tearing up. What a sweet post! God loves you and your Daddy so much! What a special visit for you and for him! I too, love that old hymn.
I pray God will give you just what you need as you go through this time. It's so hard when our parents get older and then we take on the responsibility of taking care of them.
Love you, sweet friend,
Shelia ;)

The Shabby Paris Market said...

Hi Rebecca, I will keep your dear sweet dad in my prayers. My thoughts are with you.
I follow your blog and thought it to be so lovely i added it to my sidebar. Won't you take a peek and follow me too?
http://theshabbyparismarket.blogspot.com
Have a very lovely evening.
Jen & Dawn, AKA The Shabby Paris Girls.

Bringing Pretty Back said...

Look how the Lord blessed you with this wonderful visit with your Father. I bet you got in your car after the visit and felt so much happiness and love.
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

Carol said...

It is a difficult journey while one watches helplessly as our loved ones become a prisoner to such a dehabilitating disease.

Your unsettled thoughts drew you to visit your Dad today. Call it a "MIRACLE". How Blessed you were to be given a short window into his sanity. Let your heart & soul carry this wonderful occurence and memory of today's visit. Try not to let the indignities of the disease overshadow today's Blessing.

Carol from
"Good 'Ol Texas"

Doni said...

Thank you for sharing that precious blessed time with us Rebecca. Even though the moments we sometimes think of most are the cruel ones, you have an inheritance of faith from your father that no one can take away. Remember the verse: Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Surround yourself with the gift God gave you, faith in Him, and your fears of the future for your father will diminish..after all, God is in control of ALL things. May He comfort you as you trust in Him.
Doni

Patty C. said...

A life full of cherished moments -
What a blessing !!
Take Care

Whimsey Creations said...

What a beautiful and blessed day you had and I hope it lifted your spirits.

Sara said...

Rebecca
I too am crying as I read this as it is a glimpse of what is ahead for me. Thankfully, you are a woman of faith who listens and heeds the Lord's urgings. What you would have missed had you not had your heart in tune with His.
I will keep you and your dear dad in my prayers. Hope you will pray for me and my mother as well.
You can read about her on my blog.

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Dear Rebecca, I must confess that the title for this blog post had me very confused ..... til I read. I'm absolutely overjoyed that you were able to have such a precious visit with your dad today. God continues to bless you and your sweet father. I pray that whatever / whoever is making your heart heavy will soon be lifted to a better place in time with better choices, whatever is needed to add much to their life. And love and hugs to you, my dear friend, today and always.

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Nancy said...

I am just Speechless of your beautiful blessing. My eyes are filled with tears remembering such visits with mu own father. Isn't it wonderful how the Lord leads us in the right direction of where we need to go.
Huggs, Nancy

Daphne Nicole & Lynda Cade said...

Rebecca, I cried as I was reading this post, but what a wonderful gift, I'm so glad that you had this special time with you Dad again! What I would give to hear my Dad's voice one more time! I will be praying for the one that is heavy on your heart, hope that their life path will change! Blessing to you!!! Love you~~~ Daphne

Deanna said...

Precious moment.
God blessed you,
d

sewingseeds4U said...

God is so good to provide just what we need when we need it most. I, too have a loved one making decisions that are breaking my heart. I have just started Beth Moore's Breaking Free at bible study and I realized what a stronghold the whole situation has become to me. I really have felt God asking me, "Do you trust me like you say you do?" It is the most difficult thing to give over control (like we really have any at all) but God is good and faithful. That is what he was reminding you of today. He can provide miracles...just trust Him to be GOD!
Dear Lord, I pray your peace over Becky Sue right now. Let her feel your love and innate goodness as her heart wrestles with the decisions of her loved one. Assure her that you are in control and that you will walk her through whatever this life might bring. Let her not live her life in fear of the what if's but in the security of your promises. In Jesus name. Amen
You are in prayers dear sister, Patty

NanaDiana said...

Dear, dear Rebecca- I have walked in your shoes twice. First with a father that died of Parkinson's Disease that stole away the wonderful, energetic man I knew and loved (I was 21 when he passed) and then watched my mother succumb to Alzeheimers. It is the worst thing in the world to watch someone become a shell of the person they used to be....and although they may LOOK like someone you know...it is just the ghost of themself.

You know, of course, that God guided you there today..to show you a moment of your Dad to remember and cling to...to cherish and be reminded that you were still someone's earthly child.

I don't know why God chooses someone to be beset with different diseases nor why some have to suffer so needlessly. I don't understand that at all. I work in a hospital and I cannot begin to fathom the WHY of some diseases...of young mothers that die...of perfectly normal healthy babies that pass in the night. It is just a heartache/heart break to me. I only know that we must trust that there is something beyond that which we know.

A big hug to you my dear, sweet, loving friend- Diana

cottagepinkperfection said...

Oh Rebecca, my heart is so heavy for you and what you are going through with your father. I cannot personally relate to having a parent with alzheimers or dementia, but as a nurse I have seen and heard the pain of their family members. It is difficult to witness. I am so happy that you were able to once again share a wonderful moment with your daddy. God is sensitive to our most heartfelt needs, and is always there to meet those needs. I will be praying for you and your family. Just remember God is always faithful, all we have to do is reach out and accept the gift.

Love you girl!
Marie

fannipauline said...

What a blessing that God sent you to your father today and the blessing continued with him being able to visit with you.....That visit will linger with you forever. The thought of losing someone you love is so difficult - but thankfully God will be with you throughout any trials and tribulations you go thru. We serve an awesome God and He is so faithful to us. Blessings........
Pauline

ShirleyC said...

Oh, wow! That gave me chills, but it also reminded me of a similar incident with my FIL before he went to heaven.
I'm so glad you had such a sweet and peaceful visit.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Karen said...

This was such a powerful posting today. What a gift you have received. I believe that in years to come you will play this over and over again in your mind. I'm really happy for you and your father.
Hugs and blessings,
Karen
Ladybug Creek

Celestina Marie Designs said...

Oh Dear One, I read these words the other day by Richard Bach and such comfort they give.

I am so glad you had your Dad to be there for you when you needed him. God does provide all that we need, doesn't he?

I so hope your heavy heart lightens in time and prayers are answered for your concerns.
In the meantime, you enjoyed such a blessing with time spent with your Father. I can just imagine him singing that hymn. I know you will hold this memory forever.

Thank you for stopping by. Yes, I do understand too well being swamped. I am busier then ever and it seems earlier then past years too. Not going to complain when so many are out of work and need our prayers. It is a blessing to work in an industry that we love and can do it from home. I know you understand this very well too.

So fun to catch up with you. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Love to you my talented friend.
Celestina Marie

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

I think it is absolutely wonderful that you were able to not only visit with your dad being awake... but to have him sing with you too.... brings tears to my eyes.

My Pink & Cream Cottage said...

Hi Sweet..... I am so happy for you that your Dad was *Your Dad* again & that he was there for you still when you really needed him. I am as always thinking of you my Sweet friend. Your new tag is just 2die4, looking forward to seeing the others...

Blessings to you today....

Lyn xxx

Lynn Richards said...

Oh, Rebecca,
How you are met in your time of need, and how your dad's need was met by your visit.
I have heard so many times that those that are suffering from loosing memories will recall with great clarity hymns from their past. "Tis so sweet...
xoxo
lynn

Anonymous said...

It is wonderful how God reaches us when we need it most..
There were 4 blessing from this one event in your day.
1. You got to REALLY visit with your daddy.
2. Your dad was so glad to SEE you.
3. God sent the message you needed to hear to you in a song sung with your dad. This is a priceless memory.
4. You were able to share the wonderful story with us.
I just finished reading When the Pieces Don't Fit......what a lesson for us all.....and I will thank you for that also.
prayers continue for your dad, and you....I'll add the friend who you spoke of.......
gayle

Jo said...

Oh, Rebecca, there are no coincidences. You were meant to be there just at that moment. That really was a gift from God.

Cheers!

Jo

My Vintage Studio said...

You blessed with a wonderful day and lasting memory with your dad.

Wishing you a wonderful day!
Hugs, Sharon

Edie Marie's Attic said...

Dearest Rebecca,
My heart breaks for you, knowing what you are going through these days. Your visit was such a gift from God! What a sweet reward for being His faithful child!
If you ever need to talk please email me anytime. My Mom's dementia was not a battle I'd wish on anyone in this world. I'm so happy she is now at peace with our Lord.

Blessings & hugs, Sherry

Nancy's Notes said...

Oh dear Rebecca, what a precious time you were given with your dad. My heart goes out to you, I have been there, my precious daddy has been gone a year. I miss him terribly. I know it is just terribly heartbreaking to see your daddy this way. Oh my, to get a peek at the way he once was, what a blessing, one you'll never forget.

Prayers and blessing for you and your daddy sweet friend.

Hugs,
Nancy

Holly- Girls At Heart said...

~ HUG ~

Moments of Grace said...

Dearest Rebecca,

I so identify with how you feel. I wrote this past Monday about the horrific loss my family and I have endured recently and how He is indeed the God of All Comfort.

Oh, how wonderful to know He is ever near and we feel we must tell Him all of our fears, all of our sorrows, all of our many insecure moments, so that He, alone, will understand.

My prayers are with you, dear friend. All separations are temporary, but the reuniting is eternal.

In Grace,
Marie

Tea Duchess said...

I'm so sorry for what you, your family and esp. your father are going through. How wonderful of our loving Father to remind you of that hymn. I have learned that singing provides an extra special breakthrough that prayer alone cannot achieve. I have often prayed through singing about a specific concern and have seen amazing things done in Jesus name.
Thank you for sharing your trial with us.
Blessing to you.

Pink Roses and Teacups said...

Oh /rebecca,

How wonderful you were able to share this special time with your dad. Hope this special visit brought the peacefullness that you needed.

Love and hugs,
Debbie

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Oh Becky! Isn't God wonderful..... What a precious gift He gave you today. A CLEAR message and moments with your daddy.. Such sweetness... I barely made it through.. CRYING way too hard. I'm so sorry that you're going through these times of struggle, and grateful to know you have Jesus to see you through.

Huge huggies Dear One...

xoxoxoxo
Spence

MosaicMagpie said...

How sweet the sound. What a wonderful post and I am so glad you were blessed with your visit.
Love to you,
Debbie

Sheila said...

What a special post and a special visit with your dad.
God is good all the time.
Have a blessed day!
Sheila
(ABC Girl)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

My darling girl, you had a prayer answered! What a friend we have in Jesus..
What an amazing story..just amazing. We all go through times like you went through..or something similar. Living with a Minister... is very handy. He reminds me. I have often wondered if God didn't answer my prayer when he sent me Sweet Husband...and one so gentle for these last years.
My love to you. Your Daddy is in there...he is in there...

Elizabeth and Gary said...

Dearest Rebecca,
What a special and loving day you shared with your Dad..A day only for you and him, and for you now to treasure and keep ever so tightly close in your heart. For this day was a gift, you were both blessed today with the up-most love from our Father in Heaven..
The warmest thoughts for you and your Dad, I am sending you the biggest hug ever!!!
Elizabeth XO

Cora said...

What a beautiful post with a beautiful message!
Looking forward to visiting with you more...

Linda said...

Love, Hugs..and Prayers sweet Rebecca. So glad God gave you that special time with your dad.

May our God Give you peace about the situation and strength to meet each day.

His mercies are new every morning!

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

myletterstoemily said...

oh rebecca, i'm so sorry about your
dad! but how sweet for him to sing
that song, one of the most beloved
and reassuring of all songs.

i must tell Jesus a few things, myself.

blessings,
lea

Nichole said...

Rebecca,
My grandmother has forgotten most things, but I am amazed at times, because she still remembers love and kind words. It is so sad to know that she doesn't remember our names or the memories we have made with her, but when she smiles and touches her heart and tells me she feels it "here." I am reminded that love IS the most important thing. Whew...I have tears just talking about it.
Bless you and your family.

Stitching For Serenity said...

Dearest R ~ You know my story so no need to rehash here. I know when I am under stress that seems out of my control, which happens often in life for all of us, this is when I dig the deepest to ask God for a moment of his time to help me make peace with the events that forever etched my soul from an 8 year young girl onward to a woman with her children. It is extremely hard to hold on to good memories of one who caused such a rift in the lives of all. I fear if I don't, it will make the journey of forgiveness so much greater than I am. In the few years, I cherish those few small memories because I truly believe our God is an all Loving God & we only need ask to be forgiven. I have to hold onto it and believe one day in His kingdom I may know the joy of what I should have known here on earth.

My journey to his Grace has not been an easy one. It has been filled with doubt, anger, frustration, calm, joy & peace. I have good days and I have bad days. But, now I have them knowing His grace will always comfort me for just the asking. As I type this now to you I think, how much more simple can HE possible express what needs to be done. We only need ASK for the comfort & it will be. I am finding more days on the good side of life in spite of the everyday stresses.

I pray your heart will be calmed when your fathers journey to be with Him comes. What a beautiful example he will leave behind of his work here on earth in God's name. You've been blessed and you continue to bless others. Hugs. Tammy

Sharon's Cottage Quilts said...

Oh Rebecca what a wonderful time! The Lord brought you to your dads side that day for sure! What you must have been feeling when he addressed you!! What a miracle. God Bless you friend!
Sharon

Jean said...

Rebecca, I know oh too well what you are going through isn't wonderful the gifts God gives us. My Mom passed away in March and I lost my Father just last month. They both had dementia and alzheimer's and although that awful monster made my Mom someone we did not know God made sure that I was given a few days of my Mom back as she was passing. My Dad the gentle giant and the one with all the answers became a quiet man with not much to say but always the gentleman thankful for all the care that was given to him at the memory care unit, hospice and us. God does help us even if we don't always see it at first. Their passing has been hard but now that they are together and with God how can I be too sad. Sad for us here but happy for them being together again and with God. Please know you are in my prayers.

A Romantic Porch said...

Rebecca, that is such a wonderful moment with your dad singing such a comforting gospel song. Another one that touches me in much the same way is,"What a Friend We Have In Jesus". May God Bless you today. xo rachel

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