Friday, September 13, 2019


A little over a year ago I awoke one morning with a weird pain in my left foot.  After walking around for a couple of minutes the pain went away and I didn't have it again until the next morning.  With each passing day the pain grew a little bit worse and by the time my Mr. AGPMan and I headed to Santa Barbara for our anniversary get-away three months later I was worried I wouldn't be able to walk on the beach with my beloved.

Weird thing about the pain was I felt almost normal if I was wearing a wedge-type shoe.  I just could walk flat footed.

Anyway...after seeing three doctors (all with different answers!) I finally met with an orthopedic surgeon, had an MRI and was immediately told I had something called Haglund's Deformity.  I was like, "Ummmmmm......WHAT?"

The "deformity" had led to the tearing of my Achilles tendon and I was in bad shape.  When I was told full recovery from the surgery was projected at twelve to fifteen months I truly felt sick at heart.  TWELVE MONTHS????  FIFTEEN????

Spinal fusion surgery was done on my neck only two years before following a car accident and I was NOT wanting to go under the knife again.  I felt so low and was very depressed.

The surgery went as planned...removal of excess bone at my heel and a nice 4" long incision now decorates the back of my left calf.  Lovely.  I will spare you the details and tell you only that I am NOT a good patient.  Six weeks in a foot/leg cast is not fun.  

I used a Knee Scooter to get around and I was thrilled when I was able to get out of my house and visit the new COSTCO that had opened in OKCity.!  Nothing like retail therapy for recovery!
I loved the store, but I tired out very quickly by the time we signed up for a membership and began to browse around the huge warehouse market.  My guy continued to shop and I happily nestled myself near the end-cap of a fairly non-congested aisle.  The store was super busy and in hindsight it was probably not a good a stupid idea to visit the store during it's first two weeks of operation.

Lesson learned.

While my leg was propped up on the knee scooter I stood for quite a bit on my good leg/foot just watching the bustle of activity around me.  It was then I noticed a woman and her companion trying to meander a VERY FULL CART down the aisle I was on.  I scooted farther over to the left so she could get through, but another shopper to my right made it impossible for her to pass.  People were in front of me and in back of me and to the side.  I couldn't move...especially so since I wasn't fully mobile.

It was then the woman trying to move onto the aisle looked right at me and said this:

"You need to move your (blanking) A**"
(and a lot more vile and truly obnoxious, hateful things!)

I was sooo stunned and shocked I didn't even know what to say.  My hubby (who had come up behind me) responded with "Excuse ME, mam...but did you just say what I think you said?"

Her reply...

"YES I DID!!!!"

Mr. AGPMan's response was a mix of emotions...I will only say he was kind, BUT FIRM and basically scolded her for her foul mouth and unkindness.
I am NOT a young girl, but I could feel the tears well up and then drop from my eyes before I could wipe them away.  I couldn't believe how rude and crass and completely oblivious she had been to one who was noticeably sideline/impaired.

I felt embarrassed and asked to be taken home.  For sure the medication I was taking made me far more emotional than I would otherwise be, but I truly felt overwhelmed none-the-less.

In the two or so months since that visit to COSTCO I've been back at least three times.  Last night we were there again and the same unpleasant memory made it's way back into my heart.
I'm a fairly strong-minded person and I know people make mistakes and say things they don't really intend to say sometimes.  I've said things during my lifetime I wish I could take back. I also know there are very mean people in the world who absolutely do not care about the feelings of others.  I'm proud to say I'm not one of them.

My Mr. AGPMan (aka: hubby) reminded me of something when I brought up the incident AGAIN (for what seemed to be the ga-jillionth time)...

He said "Forgive her, Babe.  Even if you never know whether or not she is sorry..."

I really hate it when he's right.  
Time to move on! 

Love to you...



Susie said...

Hugs to you. So sorry the lady was mean. But what a wonderful loving husband . Be happy for you, being married to him. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

Junkchiccottage said...

Hi Rebecca,
Life is so full of lessons isn't it. I always feel when things like what happened to you come across our lives it is meant to teach us something. You have proven my thinking on this. Sometimes it is better to forgive than it is to try and figure out why the bad happened. It really is easier to forgive than forget as the old saying goes. That women for whatever reason was not a happy camper in her own skin to be so vile and hurtful. Almost want to feel sorry for her. Glad you can go to Costco and enjoy the experience again. Love when they have those little ladies with their samples. You can eat your way through the Costco lol! Happy Friday. Have a great weekend.

Rebecca Nelson said...

Susie...I've been married to my guy for 41 years and his character is above reproach. I'm beyond blessed. My protector, provider, lover and friend. <3 R

Carol said...

Sorry that someone was so rude to you, but you must forgive her in order to move on and live your life to the fullest.

Debra@CommonGround said...

oh Rebecca, this is one of the hardest things to deal with. I'm like you. Peoples' words carry such weight and I've been guilty of playing them over and over in my head because they have hurt me. I can forgive, but it's so hard to actually "let it go" and not to allow it to continue wounding you. Thanks for sharing this with everyone; it's such good Biblical advice. So glad you're recovering well from your surgery. Those of us that have been through a physical trauma like that are doubly vulnerable to emotional stress. xo

astrochik said...

I have a sassy friend that I adore. She is witty, warm and quickquickquick in ways that I can only hope to emulate. I recall being somewhere when someone told her to move her arse and her response was swift and hilarious. Imagine this: a 63 year old woman jigging up and down with her bum doing most of the work...the most earnest look of utter concentration on her face...arms doing the 1960s "jerk". Remember that dance?! I burst out laughing and the grumpy mcgrumpface also burst out laughing. Laughter IS the best medicine! You might have had your wee footie suspended but the next time someone pulls a move like that on you: shake yer booty, dearheart! :-)

Sue said...

I too am finding people so rude these days, I was taught that there is never an excuse for bad behavior! The quotes are so true, and what a dear husband you have, I too am blessed with a dear sweetheart.
You have chosen the right way to deal with this.
Have a great weekend, Dear Friend.

Theresa said...

Some people are just plain mean. My daughter just called me from Walmart where someone turned right in front of her while she was waiting for a parking space and took it:( As it turns out, the person was an employee! She was a little ticked but said she was moving on. It is sad that you have had that memory to deal with. Have a blessed day my friend, HUGS!

Decor To Adore said...

Oh, this post made me tear up. I just can't even imagine being so unkind to someone. But I also have been the recipient of such unkindness. Some of it from people who are supposed to love me. But you are so right. Forgiveness is key. It is a gift you give yourself. But, it is also important that forgiveness and forgetting are two different F words. Becuase you can't forget it will still hurt. That's ok. Allow yourself the grace to feel that.

Net - "It's a Wonderful Movie" said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. I felt your heart completely through your story. I would've cried just like you did. I was so glad when you said your husband walked up right at that moment. How brazen of that woman to admit what she had said again. Unfortunately, some people have no shame. I feel sorry for her to be filled with so much hate. You obviously have a loving, caring spirit. Forgiveness given, even if not asked for, releases us. But, oh my, it is so hard to do!

God bless you! Net

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Rebecca,
Oh my, we all do encounter such a rude person without appearing to have a soul inside. But like you say, moving on is the very best thing to do.
So sorry for all the bad things that have come your way the last couple of years.
Glad you're able to write about it, that also means the completion of your total healing!

Rose L said...

I am so shocked at the cruelty and unkindness of that woman! I cannot imagine ever speaking to anyone like that. It is almost like a scene from the TV show WHAT WOULD YOU DO? I know I would not behave like that woman ever!!!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I'm so glad you shared your story. It's a good reminder for all of us because at some time or other we feel impatient. But the best lesson is how to deal with it. I'm so bad about having that conversation over and my head AND out loud! But it's not worth it. I've ruined some of my good times by worrying over someone else's bad behavior. It's THEIR BAD...not mine! But I let it hurt me. Well...I better stop there! Lots of hugs, Diane

Kay G. said...

What a jerk she was! Good thing you never have to see her again, she sounds like some of the bad co workers I have worked with in my life! Nothing to do about them, just pray they quit or get fired.😕

Sarah Tavanello said...

Hi Rebecca! Thank you for sharing your hurtful and difficult experience. I can completely imagine how you felt and I'm sure I'd have felt the same way too. Although I may not have been meek like you were and might have cussed her out right back! And then if I did that I would later probably regret doing that and wished that I'd of kept quiet and just have killed her with kindness. That's what you did to her I think. And I think your husband probably made her feel bad and embarrassed. We are all from a different place and she may have been taught to act like that from the people who were in her life. Your husband gave you good advice to forgive her. And by forgiving her you're releasing the resentment that you have towards her which will help her to be a better person. In my opinion, she needs help on how to be a compassionate and kind and caring person. And maybe because you're such a kind and caring person you've been chosen to make her realize how she should be one. Considering what your husband said to her, she may have learned a lesson on how not to behave. I know this post is from 4 years ago but I wanted to comment on it because after reading it I felt inspired to say something about it . I hope all is well with you and thanks again for telling your experience at Costco.

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