~HEAVENBOUND~ - MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMA~

 

 My Beautiful Momma

(Celebrating Another Grandchild's Wedding)

It's been a really long time since I looked at my old blog and even longer since I cared about sharing my thoughts with you. 

My Blog.

Funny how the one thing that once brought me so much joy...the thing my heart was truly wrapped up in and sang aloud for...the thing that became so much of my daily focus...the thing that brought incredible purpose and meaning to my life, one day just began to slowly fade away into pretty much nothingness.

Not sure what happened.  

Things just change, I guess.

 

My Mom's Family

(Aunt Lil, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Great-Grandma

Cousin Larry, Sister, Sister)

Blog or no blog, over the years I have changed and with each passing day I feel myself changing more and more.  But, nothing has wrought within me a bigger change than the loss of my dearest friend, confidant and mentor, my Mother.

 Me In My Momma's Arms

(My Mother, Me, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother 

and Big Sister, Linda)

Her name was Barbara Helen Martin Elliott and she passed away early Christmas Eve morning at the age of 83. 

To tell you I'm irrevocably broken over her death can't even begin to describe the pain I carry inside my heart.  My Momma had a tough life...she deserved more and I prayed God would give her more.  I asked Him time and time again to fill her coffers with all things good and lovely and He did.  But, I wanted more for her.

 

My Brother's Wedding

Mom, Sister Linda, Daughter Adrienne, Grandma & Me)

An easier time.

Less sorrow.

Financial freedom.

Restoration of her family.

A healed heart.

  Son's Wedding Celebration Luncheon

(Daughter-in-Love, Miss K, Me & Momma)

My Mother lived with heart disease for many years and although her death was unexpected, I knew she was growing weaker and the chances of her living to the age of 92, like her own Mother, were fairly small.  Still I prayed for her to stay with me...selfishly, I wanted her to remain a physical presence in my life.

There were so many things I still wanted her to teach me.

So many things I still needed to learn.

My Momma at Two

As my three siblings and I worked to clear out her home over holiday break I became overwhelmed with grief.  It came in the knowing she would never see with earthly eyes the sun come up on another Christmas morning...or feel the beautiful breeze of one more first day of spring.  She wouldn't be here to witness the first of many red robins confidently perched outside my kitchen window, make another heirloom quality baby quilt and most of all, wouldn't be here to celebrate with me the birth of my next grandchild.

I didn't know how I could go on.

 

My Mother with my Sister Linda

But, as I've known since I was a young child, God is both faithful and full of mercy.  Somehow, within my own crushed and battered spirit, He allowed my Mother to come to me.  She came to me in the words of the one song she said she loved to sing most - 

 My Lovely Mother

LEAVE IT THERE

 

If the world from you withhold of its silver and its gold,

And you have to get along with meager fare,

Just remember, in His Word, how He feeds the little bird—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

Leave it there, leave it there,

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there;

If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

If your body suffers pain and your health you can’t regain,

And your soul is almost sinking in despair,

Jesus knows the pain you feel, He can save and He can heal—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your enemies assail and your heart begins to fail,

Don’t forget that God in Heaven answers prayer;

He will make a way for you and will lead you safely through—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your youthful days are gone and old age is stealing on,

And your body bends beneath the weight of care;

He will never leave you then, He’ll go with you to the end—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

 A Pastor's Wife

(Preggo with Sister Jennifer)

My Mother's unwavering faith has sustained me throughout my life and I owe her more than I can say~ Her voice, though sweetly ordinary, gave to me endless gifts... The early teaching of Bible stories and simple songs will never end and the melody of love that lived within her will never die.  Truth will live on in her children...and in their children and in their children...

My Parents When I Was A Teen

Two-thousand seventeen was a tough year.  I had spine surgery in March, our beloved 14+ year old Yorkie, Mollie, passed away in August, our dearly loved brother-in-love succumbed in October after a massive stroke and then my precious Mother has journeyed to heaven in December.  With each challenge and loss I've somehow remained grateful to God for sustaining me and giving me the a perfect peace found only in Him.  But...the losses have been very, very hard.

Our Last Professional Family Photo 1992

Jennifer, Linda, Bill, Dad, Mom, Me

 

Mom and I About 4 Years Ago

In closing...

So, to the woman who gave me life...

"Thank you, Mom! You gave me so much more than I ever realized.  Thank you for those years of early instruction, for the faith you carried within your heart in spite of knowing of your own imperfection.  Your belief in me has carried me for all my 59 years and I trust you will continue to guide me until I reunite with you on the other side.  I thank God today for giving you 83 plus years!  I will miss your physical presence for all my days and will bless you for the remainder of my life.  I love you...Becky"

~*~

About my Blog...well...I don't know.  I may just leave it as it is for whomever happens upon it...and then again I may continue.  Time will tell.  I just can't say for sure right now.

In the meantime...

May God bring the path you are to travel this year into focus and the calling on your life clear. 

Love to you all,

Rebecca