~HEAVENBOUND~ - MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMA~

 

 My Beautiful Momma

(Celebrating Another Grandchild's Wedding)

It's been a really long time since I looked at my old blog and even longer since I cared about sharing my thoughts with you. 

My Blog.

Funny how the one thing that once brought me so much joy...the thing my heart was truly wrapped up in and sang aloud for...the thing that became so much of my daily focus...the thing that brought incredible purpose and meaning to my life, one day just began to slowly fade away into pretty much nothingness.

Not sure what happened.  

Things just change, I guess.

 

My Mom's Family

(Aunt Lil, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Great-Grandma

Cousin Larry, Sister, Sister)

Blog or no blog, over the years I have changed and with each passing day I feel myself changing more and more.  But, nothing has wrought within me a bigger change than the loss of my dearest friend, confidant and mentor, my Mother.

 Me In My Momma's Arms

(My Mother, Me, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother 

and Big Sister, Linda)

Her name was Barbara Helen Martin Elliott and she passed away early Christmas Eve morning at the age of 83. 

To tell you I'm irrevocably broken over her death can't even begin to describe the pain I carry inside my heart.  My Momma had a tough life...she deserved more and I prayed God would give her more.  I asked Him time and time again to fill her coffers with all things good and lovely and He did.  But, I wanted more for her.

 

My Brother's Wedding

Mom, Sister Linda, Daughter Adrienne, Grandma & Me)

An easier time.

Less sorrow.

Financial freedom.

Restoration of her family.

A healed heart.

  Son's Wedding Celebration Luncheon

(Daughter-in-Love, Miss K, Me & Momma)

My Mother lived with heart disease for many years and although her death was unexpected, I knew she was growing weaker and the chances of her living to the age of 92, like her own Mother, were fairly small.  Still I prayed for her to stay with me...selfishly, I wanted her to remain a physical presence in my life.

There were so many things I still wanted her to teach me.

So many things I still needed to learn.

My Momma at Two

As my three siblings and I worked to clear out her home over holiday break I became overwhelmed with grief.  It came in the knowing she would never see with earthly eyes the sun come up on another Christmas morning...or feel the beautiful breeze of one more first day of spring.  She wouldn't be here to witness the first of many red robins confidently perched outside my kitchen window, make another heirloom quality baby quilt and most of all, wouldn't be here to celebrate with me the birth of my next grandchild.

I didn't know how I could go on.

 

My Mother with my Sister Linda

But, as I've known since I was a young child, God is both faithful and full of mercy.  Somehow, within my own crushed and battered spirit, He allowed my Mother to come to me.  She came to me in the words of the one song she said she loved to sing most - 

 My Lovely Mother

LEAVE IT THERE

 

If the world from you withhold of its silver and its gold,

And you have to get along with meager fare,

Just remember, in His Word, how He feeds the little bird—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

Leave it there, leave it there,

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there;

If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

If your body suffers pain and your health you can’t regain,

And your soul is almost sinking in despair,

Jesus knows the pain you feel, He can save and He can heal—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your enemies assail and your heart begins to fail,

Don’t forget that God in Heaven answers prayer;

He will make a way for you and will lead you safely through—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your youthful days are gone and old age is stealing on,

And your body bends beneath the weight of care;

He will never leave you then, He’ll go with you to the end—

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

 A Pastor's Wife

(Preggo with Sister Jennifer)

My Mother's unwavering faith has sustained me throughout my life and I owe her more than I can say~ Her voice, though sweetly ordinary, gave to me endless gifts... The early teaching of Bible stories and simple songs will never end and the melody of love that lived within her will never die.  Truth will live on in her children...and in their children and in their children...

My Parents When I Was A Teen

Two-thousand seventeen was a tough year.  I had spine surgery in March, our beloved 14+ year old Yorkie, Mollie, passed away in August, our dearly loved brother-in-love succumbed in October after a massive stroke and then my precious Mother has journeyed to heaven in December.  With each challenge and loss I've somehow remained grateful to God for sustaining me and giving me the a perfect peace found only in Him.  But...the losses have been very, very hard.

Our Last Professional Family Photo 1992

Jennifer, Linda, Bill, Dad, Mom, Me

 

Mom and I About 4 Years Ago

In closing...

So, to the woman who gave me life...

"Thank you, Mom! You gave me so much more than I ever realized.  Thank you for those years of early instruction, for the faith you carried within your heart in spite of knowing of your own imperfection.  Your belief in me has carried me for all my 59 years and I trust you will continue to guide me until I reunite with you on the other side.  I thank God today for giving you 83 plus years!  I will miss your physical presence for all my days and will bless you for the remainder of my life.  I love you...Becky"

~*~

About my Blog...well...I don't know.  I may just leave it as it is for whomever happens upon it...and then again I may continue.  Time will tell.  I just can't say for sure right now.

In the meantime...

May God bring the path you are to travel this year into focus and the calling on your life clear. 

Love to you all,

Rebecca

~TIME TO SAY GOODBYE~

Early this morning my beloved Mr. AGPMan's Father, Raymond E. Nelson, passed away.  I would sooo greatly appreciate your prayers as we say goodbye to our loving Father, Husband, Grandpa and friend.  He will be greatly missed by all of us...especially by Steve's mother.  They were married for over sixty years and I'm sure she will have some challenging days ahead.

You can read more about Steve's father HERE.

  My hubby's father honorably served in the US Army and was awarded a Purple Heart for Bravery after being severely wounded during the Korean Conflict/War.  He was blinded in one eye and suffered a traumatic head injury and yet lived to be almost 85 years old.

God is good.

Raymond was a dearly loved husband to Doris and loving Father to my husband, Steven Kent...

Adoring Grandfather to Brandon Kent...

And to Adrienne Rachelle....

 We hold many precious memories inside our hearts of him...

 Seems like yesterday he was a giddy Grampa to our two beautiful (and young!) children.

He helped us celebrate in the best of times...

 And loved me from day one.

He left us far too soon...

Today was his first day in heaven!

We rejoice in his home-going!

Thank you for your prayers during these tough times.

Blessings to you for a wonderful New Year.  This was a truly challenging year for us and we are looking forward to a fresh beginning.

Love to you all...

~IN TIMES LIKE THESE~

My heart goes out to Pastor Rick Warren (author of the best seller THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE) and his wife as they deal with the suicide death of their beloved son, Matthew.

I think it's easy sometimes to view others, especially when they reach a certain pinnacle of success, as having perfect lives.  As I grow older I understand more and more there simply is

No perfect...

No absolutely wonderful...

At least not all the time.

I can only imagine Pastor Warren standing and facing his congregation today being burdened by such overwhelming grief.

May his sorrow be overshadowed by God's love.

Depression is a terrible thing...an ugly disease...one that knows no mercy and plays no favorites.  My prayer today is simply for the love and mercy of God to wash over this family and ultimately for something good to come out of death of their son, brother and friend.

Blessings as you seek peace today.

Love to you...

~~~~~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING~~~~~ Rest Well Miss Marion

 ~REMEMBERING MISS MARION~

I had a different Sunday Post planned for you today, but early this morning I received a phone call letting me know my longtime friend and neighbor, Marion, passed away.

Miss M (as I liked to call her) lived across the street from my family and I for almost 19 years and she watched from afar as our two little children grew into adulthood.  We shared a hot cup of tea more times than I can say and many heartfelt talks that centered around our shared faith in God.  There was always lots of laughter and also many, many tears.

A 2nd Grade School Teacher by trade, I learned early on that a few years before meeting Marion she had lost her own tiny 6 year old daughter to a sudden brain aneurysm.  Knowing she had endured and survived the worst of all life experiences drew me into her life's path in way I can hardly describe.  Whenever I struggled with the frailties within my own heart and life all I had to do was think of Miss Marion and the things that befell her.  She was, and always will be, a shining example of God's unmerited love and grace.  She pressed on through life's most difficult of days and yet emerged wit her sweet and tender spirit in tact.  Bitterness and anger was never even a possibility for her and the example of love and acceptance she set forth will always be something I will aspire to achieve...

~~*~~

"Rest In Peace, Miss Marion.

I know your reunion with your beautiful Karlan-Girl is no doubt shaking up the golden streets of heaven!

I will be missing you!

Love you most, Rebecca"

~~*~~

Blessings to you today as you continue to love, honor, cherish and value those whom God has placed within in your life...  I'm reminded once again today that we are only here on this earth for a very short time.  Best be finding what our purpose and calling is while we still can.

Love to you all...

~SWEET REST FOR ANDREA~

~PEACE FOR ANDREA~

Dear Friends...

I uploaded my Makeover Post of today before receiving the news my sweet childhood friend, Andrea, had passed into the loving arms of her Lord early this morning.  I'm rejoicing my longtime friend has found peace and rest with Jesus and that her earthly body is free from the pain she had been suffering with for a long, long time.

Thank you for your prayers and for your thoughts and concerns for someone you didn't even know.  Andie was very young...too young to pass from this earth.  But...God's grace is enough and in my heart I know He will not allow what we, His children, cannot bear.

Please say a prayer (or two, or three...) for Andrea's children, her tiny grandbabies and her hubby of over 30 years.  I know within my own heart their lives have changed forever...

May the Mercy, Grace, Peace and Love of our Lord be with them today and always.

(I love you, Andie the Nut...xoxoBecky)

I love you all~

~~~~~~~~~~FOREVER MY FRIEND~~~~~~~~~~ Becky and Andrea the Nut

 ~ANDREA the NUT~

 7th Grade Photo

I first met my beautiful friend, Andrea (Andie), when the two of us were placed in the same homeroom class at the start of 7th grade.  The school year was 1970/71 and life in our growing Los Angeles suburb was truly exciting...or at least I thought it was!  

 

~BECKY the MOUTH~

7th Grade Photo 

I was about to cross the threshold from childhood into teenagerdom and was thrilled beyond reason to begin my life as a full-fledged junior-high school student.  That meant pantyhose, make-up, high-heels (small ones, per my father!) and the meeting of lots and lots of new friends cute boys.

 ~ANDIE the CHEERLEADER~

 Now...Andie was a real nut, and me, well, I was the unofficial class clown!  Combine those two lighthearted (notice I didn't say admirable) traits together with our mutual gift for gab, and one can easily see how Andie and I got ourselves into some real jams.  More times than not we were separated and not allowed to sit next to one another, which of course made our math class EXTRA BORING and meeting up behind the lunchroom gate all the more enjoyable.

 ~BECKY the CHEERLEADER~

(Don't Ask!)

By my account (and by every other girl and boy in our class), Andie was a knockout!  Not only was she funny and smart, but she was absolutely beautiful!  Oh...and on top of that she was NICE, too!  I'd have been perfectly happy to trade everything about me in exchange for anything and all of what she was...

 ~ANDIE the BEAUTY~

8th Grade Photo

By the time Andie and I made it to 9th grade I'd spent the night at her house at least a half a dozen times if not more.  We shared enough sleep-overs for me to dream about having pink rose wallpaper like she had in her 2die4 bedroom and to fall-in-like with her baby brother, Shaun...

~ANDIE IN PERSON~

Andrea was one of my dearest friends and so it's surprising to me now to realize how easy it was for us to lose touch with one another when my family and I moved away in 1974.  I suppose it's easiest to just say that people and interests change~  New friendships are made, fresh bonds are formed and life goes on and on and on...

  

~BECKY NEEDS BRACES~

8th Grade Photo

Facebook can be truly exciting when one is trying to reconnect with long-lost friends.  So~ when Andie found me and we linked back up in 2009 it was, in many ways, like the years just fell away.  We chatted on and off and I loved seeing pictures of her family and precious little grand-babies and hearing all about her life...

~ANDIE'S YEARBOOK NOTE~

Eventually time pressed in and I didn't hear from Andie for awhile...  But~I got busy (work and living does that to you if you let it) and I figured she was just busy, too!

Not so...

~GORGEOUS ANDIE - SENIOR 1976~

Just after Christmas I learned my longtime friend was in the hospital fighting for her life.  She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and is terminal.  Andie is currently too weak to undergo any further chemo treatment and I'm sad to say her days of living this side of heaven are numbered...  Except for a miracle she is not long for this world.

 ~ BEAUTIFUL ANDREA TODAY~

I'm broken hearted.

Today while I was praying for Andie and her lovely family I spent some time praying for my own imperfect heart as well.  I asked God to give me a sweeter spirit toward others and to forgive me for allowing some truly silly stuff to pick away at the person He's called me to be.  Because of Andie I'm going to try harder to make my Father in heaven proud...

"God be with you my sweet Andrea the Nut.  I pray God's mercy will reign down upon you this very moment and soften your pain and sorrow.  I know you are glory-bound and I give you my word...  I promise to meet up with you again someday, this time inside the Eastern Gate...  I love you...Becky"

~~*~~

Today I'm thinkin' I best get on with living the life I am called to live while I still have time...

Love to you...

~GONE TO SOON - Remembering You In Love~

BERTIE MAE BAIN-MARTIN
1944
December 26, 1916 - November 29, 2008

To My Beloved Grandmother...

My thoughts on this first anniversary of your passing are simple, Grams.

MY GRANDPARENTS - 1965

I pray every single day to be for my grandchildren all you were to me during my life.

I miss you more than words can say.

GRAMMA & ME - June 2008

Thank you for standing in the gap.

Thank you, for everything.

Love, Becky

GONE TOO SOON

Like a comet
Blazing 'cross the evening sky
Gone too soon

Like a rainbow
Fading in the twinkling of an eye
Gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly
And splendidly bright
Here one day
Gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight
On a cloudy afternoon
Gone too soon

Like a castle
Built upon a sandy beach
Gone too soon

Like a perfect flower
That is just beyond your reach
Gone too soon

Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight
Here one day
Gone one night

Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
Gone too soon

Grossman/Kohan

Blessings to you as you miss those who have gone too soon...Rebecca

~IS NOT THIS THE LAND OF BEULAH? - Remembering Amy Dawn~

IS NOT THIS THE LAND OF BEULAH?

~In Honor of Amy Dawn~

I am dwelling on the mountain,
Where the golden sunlight gleams
O'er a land whose wondrous beauty
Far exceeds my fondest dreams,
Where the air is pure, ethereal,
Laden with the breath of flowers,
They are blooming by the fountain,
'Neath the amaranthine bow'rs.

Is not this the Land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light;
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright.

I can see far down the mountain,
Where I wandered weary years,
Often hindered in my journey,
By the ghosts of doubt and fears;
Broken vows and disappointments,
Thickly sprinkled all the way,
But the Spirit led, unerring,
To the land I hold today.

Is not this the Land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light;
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright.

I am drinking at the fountain,
Where I ever would abide,
For I've tasted life's pure river,
And my soul is satisfied;
There's no thirsting for life's pleasures,
Nor adorning rich and gay,
For I've found a richer treasure,
One that fadeth not away.

Is not this the Land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light;
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright.

Tell me not of heavy crosses,
Nor the burdens hard to bear,
For I've found this great salvation
Makes each burden light appear;
And I love to follow Jesus,
Gladly counting all but dross,
Worldly honors all forsaking,
For the glory of the cross.

Is not this the Land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light;
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright.

Wm. Hunter

"Peace, Peace! Wonderful Peace! Coming down from the Father above. Sweep over my spirit forever I pray, in fathomless billows of love."

Thinking of Amy's precious family during this time of profound loss. We love you all...

Love, Rebecca & Steven

~HE WENT THIS WAY BEFORE~

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a precious friend telling me of the unexpected death of her young granddaughter. My friend was overcome with grief and sadness and just hearing of her sorrow was heart-wrenching. Whenever death comes to someone so innocent, I can’t help but want to hide my face from the world…I want to cry out to my Creator and ask “WHY?” and “WHERE ARE YOU GOD? HOW COULD YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?”

And so I do! I cry out! I cry out to Him ALOUD and OFTEN! I readily admit to the Lord that I do not understand His ways. I’ve finally learned to take my disappointments directly to the Father and trust Him with all that I cannot possibly comprehend.

For some of you, the road through life is a long one and far too often it seems unbearable at best. The storms of life crash in on you, knocking you down. They are determined to destroy every dream, every hope and every promise… Remember, God never said the journey here on earth would be an easy one, but He did promise you the final destination would be worth your sufferings...

THE ROAD

“The road is too rough” I said “Dear Lord~
"There are thorns that hurt me so!
“Ah yes, my child, I understand!
I walked it long ago."

"There’s a cool green path" I said "Dear God~
"Let me walk there for a time!"
"Oh no, my child!" He gently said
"The green road does not climb."

"But Lord~ I wish that there were friends
That would make my way their own!"
"Ah yes, my child,Gethsemane
Was hard to face alone!"

And so I walked the rugged road
Content at last to know
That where my Savior had not gone
I would not need to go.

And strangely then I found new friends
My burdens grew less sore
As I remembered long ago
He went this way before.
(Unknown)

"Anyone who is having trouble should pray." James 5:13

Blessings to you a you travel the road before you...Rebecca

I THINK OF YOU

Born in 1898 in a covered wagon on the outskirts of Stroud, Oklahoma, Bethel Maude Moore was destined to be my Grandmother. She was my Father’s Mother and she died when I was only 12.

I remember her being soft and cushy, just like a Grandma is expected to be, I suppose. When I knew her there was an almost transparent bluing in her tightly curled hair and she smelled only of the dime store lavender talc her meager income allowed her to enjoy. She wore little make-up, save for the peachy-tinted face power and the heavily pigmented rouge that brought color to her milky white, deeply wrinkled skin.

I never once saw her wear pants. She dressed in clothes older women of the day would wear, simple dresses fashioned from feminine, lightweight fabrics. Most came with thin belts, which she usually discarded. As she put it, ‘they were too short to reach around her plentiful belly’. She always wore a full slip with adjustable straps. I don’t remember if she wore a girdle, but probably not.

Her shoes were those old-fashioned kind. You know the ones! They were black and looked like little mini boots...the kind one might see a real granny wear. They laced snugly up the front, had a slightly pointed tip and came with a heel that made up made in function what it lacked in fashion. During her rare winter-time visits, she’d keep warm in a pale pink coat, and I seldom saw her without a shimmery rhinestone brooch and her predictable clip-on earrings.  Sometimes she wore a tattered hat showcasing an old millinery flower or two...but never once did I see her wear a cloche.  Somehow I knew she had once really loved them.

I understood little of this woman back then. Possibly less now. She carried within her a deep sadness. A sadness I know instinctively I will never comprehend. Never afforded the chance at an education, she’d been forced to leave school after finishing the 3rd grade. She talked fondly of her siblings but lived hundreds of miles from them. She had once deeply loved, but he’d been forever lost to her while serving in WWI. Her most beloved boy, his love-child, was ripped from her. She lived through unthinkable sorrow, especially for a girl who had yet to reach the age of twenty.

When she was still a young woman, she married my Grandfather, a West Texas Oil Man, whom by all accounts was merciless and cruel. She bore him five children, two girls and three sons. One of which would never see adulthood, and another who was fated to be my Father. She named him William.

It’s been almost thirty-six years since my Grandmother left this earth. The precious few things that remain of her existence are tattered and worn and gently faded. She left no money, no earthly treasures. Photographs are scarce, correspondence written by her hand, even less.

What do linger are the gentle reminders of what I knew her to take pleasure in and the impassioned love she carried in her heart for my father and his four children. As I fill a sachet with fragrant lavender buds, I think of her. When I embellish a pillow with a vintage rhinestone bauble, I think of her. When I pull on my softly colored, pale pink jacket, I think of her. Mostly though, it’s during the quiet visits with my aging father, the most adoring of all her sons, the one who stayed when all others had left, I think of her...

Love to you~

Rebecca