Sunday, February 18, 2018

BROKENNESS BRINGS RESTORATION

MY NIECE, BRIDGETTE

In the midst of the brokenness brought about by the recent passing of my mother, God has truly been faithful in one amazing, miraculous way.

He's restored her family.

I won't go into the back story because right now all that needs to be shared is that forgiveness has been sought and given, and most importantly...

Love has won.

Reconciliation was the cry of my mother's heart and she's witnessed restoration among her children from the best vantage point possible...

HEAVEN.
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SWEET BRIDGY...PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT

If you've lost a parent, then you know going though their home is probably the most difficult of all the things a child must do, save for maybe planning a funeral and burying them.  My mother had only meager fare.  As many of you may remember, my father was a clergyman and they lived on a very modest income.  When my dad died almost four years ago he left her with financial debt and almost nothing to live on, but his paltry social security.  She had no house, no savings, no investments and no retirement.  That said, she did have a few minor treasures and handmade heirlooms and all of her children longed to call them their own.
 MAY GOD RAISE HER UP!

My siblings and I breathed in deep at what was before us when we walked into her tiny home.  While going through our mother's humble possessions we opted to leave the task of dividing up precious cedar chest keepsakes for last.  As we opened up the lid to the tattered trunk, the one that was years older than I am, we all knelt silently around it for each of us knew it held what meant the most to her...the best of all she had.  We didn't really know what we would find...what she had kept...all she had held closest to her heart.
 OUR FATHER'S LETTERS

Inside we found love letters from my father...written when in the Navy and she was pregnant with my oldest sister.  They had yet to be married a year.  He would miss her birth as he was out to sea...  She bore their first child alone.  

I can only imagine.

There were small quilts and outfits she'd made for each of her babies, our baby shoes, our favorite toys, her baby book and her mother's baby book.
 50 YEAR+ CROCHETED BABY GOODS

Our original expertly crocheted baby bibs, bottle covers were there (very discolored and worn) along with old greeting cards, report cards, photos and so much more. 
 RECENTLY CROCHETED GOODS FOR
ADRIENNE (daughter)

We also found our uniforms for Girl Scouts, Brownies and my brother's Boy Scout uniform in the bottom of the chest...everything was there...the belts, ties, sashes, socks, caps, berets, badges, pins, etc.  Everything.
MY BROWNIE UNIFORM AND SOCKS

My beautiful mother wasn't a hoarder...but she was a saver.  She saved the best of all she had and the very things she knew her children would want...

God Bless her.
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My precious, niece, Bridgy, is ten and is in Girl Scouts today.  I sent my uniform home with my younger, sister, Jen, in hopes it would fit her and incredibly it does.  One more year and it would have probably been too small.  I can't begin to tell you the overwhelming JOY I carry in my heart seeing this beautiful, beautiful little girl wearing a part of me.  Yesterday she wore this very vintage uniform while selling GS Cookies for her local troop.  I don't know about you, but if I saw a young Scout today in a vintage uniform I would certainly buy MORE cookies than I had planned to buy!  She looked so precious! She is an amazing little girl and I'm thrilled to be a part of her life.  I'm praying for God to raise her up to become the woman one day He wants her to be!
FAITH AND I

I don't have a picture of me in my GS uniform, but, I do have one of my big sister and I taken in our uniforms back when she was a Girl Scout and I was a Brownie.  Amazingly, my Momma still had it after all these years...
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I guess if I've learned one thing since my Mother's death it might be this...

Praying matters.

My Mother was a prayer warrior and she never stopped praying for those she loved, especially for her babies.  She prayed for years that her children would come together and stop squabbling over things that were not eternal.  We've always loved each other...I suppose the scars from life just run deep sometimes.

My brother-in-love, Rob, said it best~ 

"When that cedar chest was opened something spiritual happened!"

I believe he was right.  It was like the spirit of God was set free and His mighty hand passed over all four of us kids in a profound way.
JENNIFER, WILLIAM, ME, FAITH

I know today, without a shadow of a doubt, my beautiful Momma is at rest...
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Thank you, Mom.  Even in death you have never stopped interceding to the Father for your children.  Thank you for saving back so much of our childhood for us and for allowing us to take a look back into your private life as a young wife and mother.  I want you to know your prayers mattered.
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I hope if any of you reading this today, who might need to seek peace or restoration within friends or family, you will do it.  It takes courage and it is sometimes difficult.  But, with God's help, you can do it.

It's worth it.  I promise you, it is.

Love to you this beautiful Sunday...

Rebecca

Friday, February 16, 2018

THE MEASURE OF SORROW

 Yesterday I spent some time working on my Booths here in Oklahoma...I have two and these days they are both looking quite empty.  Since the death of my mother on Christmas Eve I haven't wanted to work.  I've been overwhelmed with sorrow and irritated at how my life has changed.

I don't believe my mom wanted to leave this world.  She loved her children and I knew she wanted to stay here with us.  But, her body was beginning to fail her and I could tell she was growing tired.  Life was getting difficult and the little things we all take for grated were starting to wear her down.  I've tried to find some measure of joy in her reuniting with my father...he passed four years ago on the 20th of this month, but honestly, that brings little comfort to me. 
 I don't want her to be with him...or her father or mother...

I want her with me.

Selfish.  I know.

But, true.
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Death is hard.  
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When Spring arrives in a few weeks my siblings and I will bury our parents together in a small historic military cemetery in Oklahoma City.  My beautiful mother was fiercely patriotic and I believe she would be pleased with our selection.  Her growing family will again gather to celebrate her life and the man she remained faithful to since 1955.

She LOVED America and proudly wore her sparkly USA pin everyday!  She hated seeing what was happening to our nation and the political divide across our country.
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With the recent violence in Florida and the death of all the children (and those fighting to protect them) it is literally incomprehensible for me to even process the entire event let alone the violence.  The passing of innocent people has caused me to question God about my own existence and to seek answers regarding it that I know I can only find in Him.

Despite being sidelined with my own unbelievable grief, I know the family members of the people killed in that horrible massacre are suffering on a level I have never personally known.  Their sorrow cannot be measured...

My heart is breaking for them all.
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May God have mercy on us all.

Heal our Hearts.

Heal our Land.

Love to you...

Rebecca

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