PUMPKIN SPICE MUFFINS...Food for the Soul

PUMPKIN SPICE MUFFINS

Along with probably a ga-jillion other people in the world,
I LOVE FALL!
When September comes I start counting the days until I can officially kick-start the arrival of autumn.

What is it they say?

Maybe it's because I can finally say adios to Oklahoma's hot summer days, or perhaps it's seeing the children return to learning, walking to and from school again, book-bags in hand.

PECANS MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Yesterday morning, like I have many times since her passing, I pulled out my mother's Woman's Home Companion Cook Book and began flipping through the tattered pages before me.  I love so many of things about this old book~but mostly I love knowing it was once in my mother's hands...

I skimmed the pages as I wanted to bake something to celebrate the changing of the seasons, something more than the apple spice muffins my mom made during my growing-up years...

Sadly, the only thing I really found was a recipe for a pumpkin cake!  NO MUFFINS!

The cake didn't sound too appealing, so I found a recipe online that was more in line with what I was looking for!

PUMPKIN SPICE MUFFINS

3 1/2 cups flour
2 2/3 cups sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 Tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin spice
1 Tablespoon orange zest
1 cup milk
2 cups  mashed pumpkin
2 slightly beaten eggs
2/3 cups melted shortening
1/4 scant cup molasses
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup golden raisins

Mix dry ingredients together and set aside.
Mix wet ingredients and add to the dry.
Add one cup chopped pecans and one cup
golden raisins.  Stir well.

Fill greased/floured large muffin tins about 2/3 full.
Sprinkle top with 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/2 cup chopped pecans

Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes until muffins are firm to the touch.

Let cool.  Remove from tin.

Serve with honey butter and ENJOY!

BROWN SUGAR CRUMBLY

My mother loved to bake!  She loved spending holiday time with her family and she would have loved the big Labor Day party planned at our nephew's home tomorrow.  Lots of swimming, great food, and a gentle nod to the last days of summer.

 MY MOM ABOUT 1938

Recently my mom's younger sister sent me the photo above (my momma is the child in the photo above and my auntie is the toddler in my grandmother's arms).  I love it so much.  My mom would be so happy to know we have carried on without her...even though her passing brought us all many tears.  I try and celebrate her life every chance I get...and yesterday was no different.  Sweet memories of her in the kitchen and tender reminders of what she will always mean to me.

Today is Sunday...thoughts of faith...love...hope.

I have a long-time prayer that passes my lips every single day.  Over twenty years now.
In God's time I will see it answered.

Love to you...

Rebecca

(P.S.  My blog is page protected and that was done a LONG TIME AGO!  Mr. AGPMan is TRYING to figure out how to remove it so you can easily copy photos or recipes!  More soon!)
    

FOR THOSE TEARS I DIED...

AT MY MOM'S BURIAL - October 2018

The summer before my eighth grade year my father bought me a very small acoustic guitar.  Early on I learned to sing and play and through those notes and lyrics I was often transported to a place of calm and surrender.  

When I was a sophomore in high school I learned one of the most popular songs of the day (we're talking mid 1970's here!) and I loved it so much that it was always my go-to song during youth group fellowship time, shut-ins, camps or even school events.  The melancholy melody was fairly simple, but the words constantly put my heart and soul to wondering...  At fifteen I had LOTS of questions about life, but was still all about my guitar and music.  It was, in part, a way for me to share my very innocent faith with my circle of friends.

8th GRADE TALENT SHOW - About 1973

But...as with any life...I got busy.  I fell in love...started painting...fell in love again...started drawing...fell in love...learned to sew...went to college...really fell in love...got married and eventually had two babies.  My guitar playing and my early introduction to Christian Folk Music sort of fell to the wayside.

Fast forward thirty-five plus years and I could not have imagined how much the lyrics of that one specific song would come back and minister to my own very broken body and spirit.

_____________________________________________________________________

Car accidents can mess you up.  And they can even wreck your life if you aren't careful.  The one my Mr. AGPMan and I were in (along with our daughter) back in 2016 nearly did both.  I shared a little about my injury in May of that year and how I ended up having months upon months of PT before finally accepting the fact I needed to have spinal fusion on my neck.  In March 2017 I had surgery and that was followed by many months of even more PT and just plain healing.

My doctor told me it would take a year and then some to heal...but that he couldn't put me back together again like I had been before the accident...

Here is a bit of the back story I wasn't able to share at the time...

WITH MY TWO SISTERS AND BROTHER

The pain from the injury was excruciating.  I was deeply depressed.  A deep, dark depression like I had never known.

My mother was still living at that time and I would often go over to her home just to be in her presence.  I felt like my head weighed a hundred pounds and the burning and nerve damage from my crushed vertebrae was life altering and I was afraid.

More than afraid.

I was terrified.

Add the mounting medical bills, lost work and then needing to obtain legal counsel, I thought I was living a complete nightmare.  I tried my best during the day to go about doing normal things...but sitting down, even for five minutes, would cause my neck to spasm so by the time evening would come I was in very bad shape.

I made eleven or more trips to the ER for morphine injections because that was the only thing that would calm the nerves down in my spine long enough for me to fall asleep.

Eventually they stopped helping...unless I wanted more and more.

I didn't.

_____________________________________________________________________

Pre-surgery I spent a great deal of time propped up in my bed leaning sideways while wondering how in the world my life had spiraled down and so out of control.  I had been healthy, strong and active and in the blink of an eye everything had changed.  

I tried my best to continue with my local booth and also work two days a week at the Vendor Mall I was a part of.  But it was challenging.  Still, I tried to do everyday things as much as possible.  You know, act normal...go to dinner, watch a show, go to church...

Whatever I did before...

Only I did it all standing up.  

My hubby raised my sewing machine up so I could sew while standing.  My computer, too.  I would go to church, but stand in the back...same thing with the movies.

But...night would always come and there was just something about lying down...the spasms would return and the cycle of pain would worsen and start all over again.  I don't remember doing this, but my Mr. AGPMan has told me I would cry out to him, just begging him to help me.

I feared this would be my forever.

  He would massage my neck for hours (literally) in the middle of the night and I took prescribed medication.  But truthfully, it did little to help the pain.  I was freaked out by the opioid problem blazing across America so I took meds that were less likely to cause addiction...

Mostly I prayed.

We prayed.

And I cried.

______________________________________________________________________

  I leaned greatly into my faith and somehow, by God's grace, it sustained me.  I read books about healing, health, faith, hope, prayer, everything.  I would angle my body heavily to one corner or the other of our sofa so the pressure would be on my hips instead of my spine.  Often I poured through aging hymn and music books, strummed my old guitar and sang the words to sweet familiar songs. 

I read something positive every day.

And then cried some more.

__________________________________________________________________ 

One day while trying my best to organize a way-too-full closet I came across a small booklet that held the lyrics to the song I shared with you earlier...  

With fresh eyes I read again the words that once poured out from my lips...  Words that spoke of another's sacrifice and death...words that told me I would never be left alone or forsaken.  Words that reminded me that when I was thirsty I would be given drink...and when I was ravaged with pain and the tears wouldn't stop flowing, He would be there...

 The song, when sung as a young teenager, was sometimes difficult to fully appreciate.  I mean...I think the lyrics are fairly easy to take in when one has yet to really face life-trails.  I was a baby-believer back then and couldn't really imagine my life with true sorrow or loss.  I certainly couldn't imagine it with life-changing pain...enormous financial pressure and an unknown physical future...

_____________________________________________________________________

Since my surgery I've continued to heal and grow stronger.  I'm grateful for answered prayer and I'm thankful I no longer face daily life with immeasurable pain.  Although I know I will never be as I was before and I no longer can work the hours I once did, I'm thrilled to be back on the other side of wellness.  I have a permanent loss of motion in my neck and a nice scar across the front...but I'm alive...and I'm good!

As I reflect upon the lyrics today of the song I once knew by heart, I'm reminded of God's goodness, grace and mercy in my life.  I know while I was suffering my Savior was by my side.  He saw me through some very dark days and will never forget every good and perfect gift comes from Him.

   

 FOR THOSE TEARS I DIED

"You said you'd come and share all my sorrows 

You said you'd be there for all my tomorrows 

I came so close to sending you away 

But just like you promised, you came here to stay 

I just had to pray 

And Jesus said, 

"Come to the water, stand by my side 

I know you are thirsty, you won't be denied 

I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried 

And I strove to remind you, 

It's for those tears I died." 

(Marsha Stevens)

 It took many months after the surgery to begin to feel even a little better.  I promised myself if my health was ever restored I would be faithful to make the changes in my life I felt moved to make...

On the day we settled my insurance claim (May 1st of this year and we had to sign a non-disclosure agreement) I sent the owner of the Vendor Mall I'd been in for nearly eight years a 30 day notice as I giving up my longtime space.

I'd known for a long time I was being led BACK to two things...

One...Was to close my large retail booth and return to selling online

and

Two...To start writing on my blog again.

____________________________________________________________________

For those of you who are still around, thank you.  I've missed connecting with you more than you could possibly know.

 I have much more to share...this is just the beginning.

A fresh new start to my already wonderfully imperfect life...

Love to you...

Rebecca

BROKENNESS BRINGS RESTORATION

MY NIECE, BRIDGETTE

In the midst of the brokenness brought about by the recent passing of my mother, God has truly been faithful in one amazing, miraculous way.

He's restored her family.

I won't go into the back story because right now all that needs to be shared is that forgiveness has been sought and given, and most importantly...

Love has won.

Reconciliation was the cry of my mother's heart and she's witnessed restoration among her children from the best vantage point possible...

HEAVEN.

____________________________________________________

SWEET BRIDGY...PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT

If you've lost a parent, then you know going though their home is probably the most difficult of all the things a child must do, save for maybe planning a funeral and burying them.  My mother had only meager fare.  As many of you may remember, my father was a clergyman and they lived on a very modest income.  When my dad died almost four years ago he left her with financial debt and almost nothing to live on, but his paltry social security.  She had no house, no savings, no investments and no retirement.  That said, she did have a few minor treasures and handmade heirlooms and all of her children longed to call them their own.

 MAY GOD RAISE HER UP!

My siblings and I breathed in deep at what was before us when we walked into her tiny home.  While going through our mother's humble possessions we opted to leave the task of dividing up precious cedar chest keepsakes for last.  As we opened up the lid to the tattered trunk, the one that was years older than I am, we all knelt silently around it for each of us knew it held what meant the most to her...the best of all she had.  We didn't really know what we would find...what she had kept...all she had held closest to her heart.

 OUR FATHER'S LETTERS

Inside we found love letters from my father...written when in the Navy and she was pregnant with my oldest sister.  They had yet to be married a year.  He would miss her birth as he was out to sea...  She bore their first child alone.  

I can only imagine.

There were small quilts and outfits she'd made for each of her babies, our baby shoes, our favorite toys, her baby book and her mother's baby book.

 50 YEAR+ CROCHETED BABY GOODS

Our original expertly crocheted baby bibs, bottle covers were there (very discolored and worn) along with old greeting cards, report cards, photos and so much more. 

 RECENTLY CROCHETED GOODS FOR

ADRIENNE (daughter)

We also found our uniforms for Girl Scouts, Brownies and my brother's Boy Scout uniform in the bottom of the chest...everything was there...the belts, ties, sashes, socks, caps, berets, badges, pins, etc.  Everything.

MY BROWNIE UNIFORM AND SOCKS

My beautiful mother wasn't a hoarder...but she was a saver.  She saved the best of all she had and the very things she knew her children would want...

God Bless her.

____________________________________________________

My precious, niece, Bridgy, is ten and is in Girl Scouts today.  I sent my uniform home with my younger, sister, Jen, in hopes it would fit her and incredibly it does.  One more year and it would have probably been too small.  I can't begin to tell you the overwhelming JOY I carry in my heart seeing this beautiful, beautiful little girl wearing a part of me.  Yesterday she wore this very vintage uniform while selling GS Cookies for her local troop.  I don't know about you, but if I saw a young Scout today in a vintage uniform I would certainly buy MORE cookies than I had planned to buy!  She looked so precious! She is an amazing little girl and I'm thrilled to be a part of her life.  I'm praying for God to raise her up to become the woman one day He wants her to be!

FAITH AND I

I don't have a picture of me in my GS uniform, but, I do have one of my big sister and I taken in our uniforms back when she was a Girl Scout and I was a Brownie.  Amazingly, my Momma still had it after all these years...

________________________________________ 

I guess if I've learned one thing since my Mother's death it might be this...

Praying matters.

My Mother was a prayer warrior and she never stopped praying for those she loved, especially for her babies.  She prayed for years that her children would come together and stop squabbling over things that were not eternal.  We've always loved each other...I suppose the scars from life just run deep sometimes.

My brother-in-love, Rob, said it best~ 

"When that cedar chest was opened something spiritual happened!"

I believe he was right.  It was like the spirit of God was set free and His mighty hand passed over all four of us kids in a profound way.

JENNIFER, WILLIAM, ME, FAITH

I know today, without a shadow of a doubt, my beautiful Momma is at rest...

_____________________________________________

Thank you, Mom.  Even in death you have never stopped interceding to the Father for your children.  Thank you for saving back so much of our childhood for us and for allowing us to take a look back into your private life as a young wife and mother.  I want you to know your prayers mattered.

 _____________________________________________ 

I hope if any of you reading this today, who might need to seek peace or restoration within friends or family, you will do it.  It takes courage and it is sometimes difficult.  But, with God's help, you can do it.

It's worth it.  I promise you, it is.

Love to you this beautiful Sunday...

Rebecca

~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING..."One Day At A Time"

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think my world gets shaken up a bit because I still have big important life-lessons to learn.   I wish it were possible for me to learn everything I need to know all in one setting.  Then I could go on about my way and live out the glorious plan God has for me and not fret so much.

But, considering the fact I'm super stubborn and extremely opinionated it takes a bit before things sink into my head and even longer for them to reach my heart.

I saw my neurosurgeon last Friday for my three month post-op visit and I was told what I already suspected.  It's going to take another full year for me to recover completely from our car accident from May 2016. "Fused spines heal slowly" he said, "there will be good days and not so good days before you will even come close to becoming your old self!  You must take your recovery as it comes.  One day at a time."

Now, given the fact I'm a get-up-and-go person this was NOT what I wanted to hear.

Doesn't God know I have things to do, projects to finish, a house to clean, books to read and dinner to fix?  Doesn't He know that I have a business to run, friends to lunch with and an elderly mother to attend to?

I've been forced to just sit within the quiet that engulfs my home sometimes and listen to the silence that surrounds me.  I'm working at doing my best to submit to the "one day at a time" thing while remembering my faith is securely anchored in somebody bigger than you and I.

 

Strange as it may seem, I find it here, inside the calm and peace of my La Chaumière de Briarwood, I'm able to offer up my hopes, plans and dreams and fears to the Most High for His safekeeping.  In the midst of the chaos my imperfection brings I will trust Him to do whatever He feels is best for me while guiding me to the place He wants me to be. 

Three-hundred and sixty-five days to go.

I can do it. 

Blessings~

Rebecca

~HEADED TOWARDS BETTER THINGS...SO STRAIGHTEN THAT CROWN!~

Ever have one of those days when you finally make a decision about something and then after you make it you wonder, even if for a second or two, if it was the right one?

That is how I felt today.  For months and months I knew this day was coming.

I fretted over it.

Prayed about it.

Chatted with my Mr. AGP Man about it.
Whined about it.
Cried about it.
And then made peace with it.

 

In the end I came to this one conclusion.

Change is almost always hard.

Even good changes.

Although I can't speak of the specifics just yet, I can tell you this...

I'm headed in the right direction.

That means having more time to do what I love most while being completely faithful and focused on my calling.

We all have one.

(A CALLING!!!!)

You know that, right?

And we are most at peace when following the very thing that God knitted into our hearts.
At least I am!

(Daughter-in-Love & Me Last Sunday) 

I can't help but thank God today for the assurance of His presence.

When I stumble or fall-

Lose my way-

Or even forget His promises-

He gently reminds me that I am never alone and in all that life brings

He is there.

Love to you...

Rebecca

(Have I told you lately how GRATEFUL I am for my health?  XO)

~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING - Just A Shepherd Boy~

Many years ago, back when our two children were young, my Mr. AGP Man was a worship leader at a local church of our denomination at the time.  Back then such leaders were called 'Ministers of Music'.  But as we know things have changed.

My hubby has a beautiful baritone voice and it's one of the things that first attracted me to him when we were struggling college students back in the day.  After we were married and our first child was born, I'd often find him lulling our son to sleep with softly sung lullabies along with simple nursery rhymes set in song.  As Brandon grew we welcomed his sister, Adrienne into our home and the cycle of love continued on...  I loved hearing my guy sing and even today I can't help but smile when I watch old VHS video tapes (thankfully converted to DVD) of the two of us belting out the latest faith-based song.

Sometimes I miss those days and quite often feel amazed at the path our lives have taken since those exciting years of ministry.  My beloved sang many beautiful songs and old hymns, but none touched me more than a song called "Shepherd Boy".

It fit his voice and his testimony.

Simply put, the song is about King David in the Bible and how God used someone, seemingly with no kingly ability, to lead a nation...

David.  Son of Hannah.  Son of Jesse.  A Shepherd Boy.

~*~

  

As I struggled to find wellness this past year I spent a great deal of time asking God what it was He wanted me to do with the remainder of my days once I recovered.

I'm seeking His truth as I press onward with a grateful heart.

  I don't know what it is that God may be calling you to do with your life...    But just like me, daughter of Barbara, daughter of William, Creator of Things...

 I know it's something!

Love to you...

Rebecca

~THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY MORNING...GRACE~

How do you manage your dark days?

I can tell you truthfully that during the past year I did a pretty crummy job of handling mine.  Most mornings I awoke feeling angry and bitter about my crumbling health and I lashed out at others when I was at my weakest...Most often towards my Mr. AGP Man as he became my verbal punching bag. 

My husband deserves the medal of valor or at the very least a blue ribbon for his kindness to me and for teaching me again that God will not allow anything to come upon us without also providing His love and grace to endure.

Life is sometimes so hard and if I'm being honest this past year has been one of the most challenging I have ever lived.  I've learned some pretty tough things about my sometimes UNLOVELY self~ But, mostly I've had a chance to experience both earthly and divine GRACE and in doing so it has radically changed the remainder of my days...

God is so merciful to us, isn't He?

When I was too discouraged to pray, too tired to sleep, too weak to work and too overwhelmed to care, God showed up.  He sent His grace to me in the form of loving, encouraging family and friends who helped work my days, massage neck, cook my food, drive me to appointments and then prayed for me when I couldn't pray for myself.

 I understand better that we give grace because we've been given grace. I hope in the future I'll do a better job of sharing it with others.

Love to you...

Rebecca

BACK AT IT...WHATEVER THAT IS!

Dear Blogger Friends...

Today I'm going to tip-toe my way back into the Blog World.  Honestly--I kind of feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience here! I know how to do it, you know,BLOG, but when you haven't done it consistently in a long time it's easy to start out feeling a bit dazed and confused!

 MORNING OF SURGERY - March 6th

So...I'm going to at least TRY to make my way back to some of the things I love!  I'm hoping to reclaim some of what I feel I've lost over the past few years...

Last Monday marked five weeks since my spine/neck surgery.  I'm going to spare you the details of the entire process and only say I'm thankful that I'm growing stronger each and every day and grateful to be able to work towards finding normalcy again in my life.  I've greatly missed doing the things I love and I'm absolutely serious when I say I will never take my good health for granted again.  I feel humbled and blessed to even be able to type out these words...  God is good.  

That is all I can say~

Here's an update on a few other things...

MY BOOTH AT SERENDIPITY MARKET

I still have my A Gathering Place booth at Serendipity Market in Edmond, Oklahoma, and I am still moonlighting there a couple of days a week as well.  I pretty much let my website stay EMPTY after the car accident as I found I wasn't able to keep it stocked while trying to stay committed to those other two things anyway.

SWEET FRENCH CHEST

Last weekend was Serendipity's SPRING OPEN HOUSE and so I was busy working as much as possible on things to stock my booth.  I'm still healing up so I'm working very slow!  My Mr. AGPMan has been super busy as well.  He fashioned a couple of really neat things for me and I can't wait to show you.

I'm still loving all things vintage, antique, soft creamy white, farmhouse (as if!) and nearly everything else that is flirty, romantic, French, fun or previously loved....  Here is a picture of a suitcase I painted for a special bride-to-be.  Her Grandma contacted me a few months ago and I promised her I would TRY and make her dreams of soft pink roses come true!

HAND PAINTED PINK ROSES!

My little Miss Mollie, our precious Yorkie, is still hanging on.  We visited her Vet about three weeks ago and he found her to be spry and inquisitive and didn't feel she was ready to be put down.  The tumor in her tummy is huge (Vet believes the underlying cause is heart disease or liver failure) and we know it won't be long before we will be forced to say good-bye to her.  She is 14 years and 3 months old (about 74 or so in human years) and we've been BLESSED to have her for so many years.

 Me and Miss Mollie 

(Taken Today!)

She is still our baby girl and our hearts are breaking as the  day draws near.  We are praying for an quiet, gentle passing...but we won't let pain invade her tiny body so we watch closely for signs of discomfort.  Those of you who love animals understand our hurting hearts...  We just hate all this.  We've prayed and asked God to give us peace as we proceed ahead...but it is so hard~

Today I met a man at Lowe's who snapped this picture of us.  He is a photographer and said he'd be honored to do a portrait of her for us.  I'm telling you...God brings the most amazing people into my life when I least expect it.  Not sure what I will do yet...but the beautiful gesture from him made me smile.

  To those of you who sent me notes, cards and emails during the past few months, well, I can't thank you enough.  I'm looking forward to better days and getting back to sharing my passions and joys with you.

Bless you all!

Love to you~

Rebecca