Sunday, June 20, 2010

~REMEMBER ME~

~MY FATHER~
Around the age of 8

My father, William Edgar, was born in Conroe, Texas, in  early March of 1930.  He was the fourth of five children, the second son of three.  Like many children birthed during the great depression he did not have an easy life.  His family was extremely poor and his own father was, by my grandmother's account, a very hostile, angry man.  He died before my father celebrated his 16th birthday.

I believe the photo you see above is the only one in existence of my dad as a young boy.  The original is not much bigger than a postage stamp and when I enlarged it I was surprised to see tiny freckles across the bridge of his nose.  How this photo has survived for so many years I will never know.

To avoid being teased and taunted for not owning a pair of shoes, my father quit school in the eighth grade.  After a severe shoulder injury at the young age of fifteen ended his dream of becoming a boxer,  he lied about his age and went out to sea working on a small tugboat.  At seventeen he enlisted in the Navy.

My dad loved the ocean and for his entire life talked of it with profound longing and deep affection.

When just a young man he believed God was calling him into full time Ministry and began to make plans to become a Servant of the Word. He would go on to become the only child in his family to attend, and then graduate from, college.
~ NAVY CHAPEL SERVICE~
1955-1956

My father pastored several churches during my childhood and made only a meager living doing what he felt called to do.  He organized and conducted more religious services for shut-ins, nursing homes and convalescent centers than I can count and routinely ministered to the downtrodden in the skid-row missions of Los Angeles.  He did this because he loved sharing God's word.  He was never paid a single cent for his services.  My dad was a lover of great poetry, a huge fan of country and western music, and although he couldn't carry much of a tune, he loved more than anything listening to each of his four children sing.
~PASTOR OF THE WORD~
How I Remember My Dad
1976

It is important for me to tell you that I did not always understand or appreciate my father's ministry until I was well into adulthood.  With a firm, deep voice, he remained a strict, but loving, disciplinarian and I eventually grew to love and respect his unwavering faith in the Most High. I'm so grateful today he taught me about a healing, loving, merciful, forgiving Jesus.

Several years ago our family began to notice a steady decline in my father's mental health.  Once an avid thinker and writer, we began to see changes that eventually led to a diagnosis of Dementia.  Little by little the disease has chipped away at the father I've known and loved for many, many years. Seeing him in a weakened physical state and his brain in a fog of mental confusion is sometimes more than I can take. 

I miss our deep conversations.
I miss his advice and encouragement.
I miss his hand upon my shoulder...
and the stories of his youth.
I miss hearing his earnest prayers...
and his impassioned preaching.
I miss him telling me that everything would be alright...
and then
believing him.

~CHRISTMAS 2009~
"Remember Me"
(Mark Schultz)

Remember Me
In a Bible cracked and faded by the years.
Remember Me
In a sanctuary filled with silent prayer

And age to age
And heart to heart,
Bound by grace and peace.
Child of wonder,
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me.

Remember Me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember Me
When you pray and tears of joy fall from your eyes.

And age to age
And heart to heart,
Bound by grace and peace.
Child of wonder
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me

Remember Me
When the children leave their Sunday school with smiles
Remember Me
When they're old enough to teach,
Old enough to preach
Old enough to leave.

And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder,
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me.

Age to age
And heart to heart
Child of wonder
Child of God
Remember Me.

~*~
"I remember, Daddy.  Thank you.  Bless you.  Miss you.  I love you.

Happy Father's Day...Becky Sue"
(Listen to the lyrics above on the first song on my PlayList today)

Blessings to you as you remember the things your father did right....
 

49 comments:

peggy aplSEEDS said...

thanks for sharing this wonderful post. beautiful song!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Sweetie..you look SO much like your Daddy in that childhood photo of him. Like you, he was a giver...how lucky you were to have had him as a father. Thank you for sharing your memories with all of us. Your love for him comes out so strongly when you speak of him.
Have a wonderful and peaceful Sunday.
Love,
Mona
...and thank you for your sweet comment on my post. *smile*

Alison said...

Wonderful tribute to your father
Here in Australia we celebrate fathers Day in September
Alison

Penny said...

A Very touching and Beautiful post for Fathers Day.
Hugs,
Penny

The Quintessential Magpie said...

A lovely tribute, Rebecca. I am particularly thinking of you today, and I hope your day is blessed!

Love you...

XO,

Sheila :-)

Bunny said...

This is a wonderful post I feel the love coming from your words.

Marydon said...

Happy Father's Day to a precious man ... beautiful write, R. Memories ...... to fill a heart with constant love.

His youth picture is you & Miss K to a 'T'.

TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

I know just the pain you are going through, as my sweet mom has dementia also. She too was born in 1930. Although I get to see her every Saturday, I miss her terribly. Dementia is an awful disease that takes little pieces of your loved one a little at a time. It truly is the long goodbye.
Thank you for a beautiful post and tribute to your father!
XO
Robin

Mr. AGP said...

Good morning babe. Well I have to say this post made me cry. Since I have been in your dad's life for almost 34 years now, I too, remember. I remember his great strength, (and stubbornness :-)), and his great love for his children. He may not have been able to give you much but I truly believe he would have fought to the death to protect any one of you.
I remember him watching intently and with great pride, tears down his face, as he watched you, one of your siblings,or a combination of, singing in church. Then he would record you and listen to it over and over again, smiling as he did.
I also remember a month or so ago when we were visiting him. You leaned down to hug and tell him goodbye. You said "I love you Daddy" and he put his arms around your neck and said "I love you too Becky Sue......more than I can possibly say" I am sure because the words just would not come. This is hard coming from a man that devoted his life to speaking. All because of the "monster in his brain" as your sis Jen so eloquently puts it.
I am so sorry babe. I know how badly it hurts you. I think the best thing you can do is what you are saying in this post.
REMEMBER WHEN and hang on to that.
I am here.

Love,
me

Barb~Bella Vista said...

Rebecca, such a touching post. You are blessed beyond words. I never had a relationship with my dad...something that wounds me to this day.

xoBarb

Gypsy Brocante said...

Thank you, Rebecca for opening your heart and sharing your wonderful father with us today ... I appreciated it!

xo
Jill

Celestina Marie Designs said...

Hi Rebecca,
Such a beautiful and well said post my friend.
I can't find the words to tell you how this has moved me today since I too miss my Father. We also were very close and not a day goes by I don't think of him and his strong ways.
Thankfully your Father is still here although struggling with, as your hubby and sister said, the "monster in his brain" I know you cherish ever moment you have to tell him you love him, spend time and give a hug. You both are so blessed with the time still here.

If I learned anything my Father taught me it was about loving family and God's love. He said," we love each other, but God loves us more." It was hard to understand as a child, but very clear to me now. HE has a plan and the best we can do is trust the plan is for our best!

I hope you enjoy your day with your Father and God Bless your visit with much to REMEMBER!

Love to you dear friend and love to your dear Father!
Celestina Marie

C'est Moi, Julie Marie said...

Oh Rebecca... I am in tears... your post honoring your dear daddy is so precious... and so is your comment from your Mr. AGP... you have truly been blessed with these two dear men in your life... love to you all... xoxo Julie Marie

Jeannie B. said...

How lucky you are to have such sweet memories of your father. All we can ask is that we are remembered with love - like you do your father. It's so hard to lose your father, in death or in the illness that your father has. Blessings to you for sharing this with us.

Miss Gracie's House said...

Well, I'm not sure which touched me the most...your oh-so-sweet tribute for your daddy or the comment left by your sweetie. It must be so difficult to walk thorough this but know you have been so blessed to have such a godly father who loved you so much...it is such a gift!
I loved seeing your beautiful studio...so much *you*
Rene

Jan said...

What a beautiful and heartfelt post. I have always loved this song, and you have given it even more meaning today. Blessings to you as you celebrate your father today. Mine left this earth almost 8 years ago, but I miss him more today than ever.

Pat @ My Tattered Elegance said...

Remember when is a precious gift and sometimes that's all we have. You still have him and those little times that he does remember a few things, who you are. Those are precious.
Your post was beautiful and so was your Mr.APG mans. Your a truly blessed lady!!!
Hugs, Pat

Seaside Rose Creations said...

Dear Rebecca: I hope you find peace today remembering all the love and good your father blessed you with. I am remembering my Daddy today too and missing him like crazy.

Warm wishes today,
Roselle

cottagepinkperfection said...

Rebecca, what a beautiful tribute to you dad. You always manage to touch my heart with your words. Have a blessed day, and keep those memories of your dad close to your heart.


Hugs,
Marie

Brayton Homestead Interiors said...

what a lovely tribute to your Dad. sounds like a great amn. how lovely you shared so much.
I too lost my dad, 41 years ago.

god Bless...

Karen

Dolores said...

Oh Rebecca, your father sounds like such a wonderful human being!!! You were/are blessed to have a father/dad such as this.
Your tribute to him is so beautiful!

Oklahoma Granny said...

Thank you for sharing this story. You were very blessed to have such a wonderful dad.

Annette said...

I feel your sadness in this post and will lift up you and your dad and family in prayer today. God bless you all!

Lin said...

Thank you for reminding me of all the things he did right. Love you, Lin

Jodie (everything vintage) said...

Rebecca,
I don't think I've EVER read anything so beautiful, written from the very heart that is filled with so much love of your Father...wow.
I'm just totally speechless (& teary eyed)

Sheila said...

This is such a wonderful post which shows the goodness of your father and the love you have for him. Thanks for sharing it. I've also remembered my father with old photos on my post this weekend. I am so lucky to have many photos since my grandfather was a photographer and took many pictures of his 3 sons.

Piney Rose said...

Like many of your posts, this one especially pricked my heart. My father, too, has dementia.

Ginger said...

Sniff, what a touching tribute to your dear daddy and how sweet your DH is for comforting you. What special people you both are, I feel so honored to be able to call you both friends. Your daddy looks so sweet and gentle. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Ginger

Goosegirl said...

Rebecca, that was just a beautiful tribute to your Daddy. We have yet another thing in common. I, too, and a preacher's daughter. And I did not always appreciate going without due to my daddy's calling. Yet I turned around and married a preacher. We are so blessed to have been raised by men who love the Lord and instilled in us the desire to do the same. We have wonderful examples of our Heavenly Father. My husband is doing the same thing for our daughters. And yes, we have done without often in our lives. But the blessings can not be denied.
Thank you for blessing me with your story of your Father.

Anonymous said...

What a loving, touching tribute to your dear father, Rebecca. I could feel your heart pouring out your feelings for him. He sounds like he was a wonderful father!
Do you know I saw YOU in the picture of him at age 8 years?! I did!! Good looks run in your family!
My dad has been gone 34 years and I missed sharing with him most of my adult life...you are lucky to have yours today, and locked away, I still think he knows you and loves you....
Thank you for always making me see the good in things and to have faith.
You "rock", my friend...
xxxxxxx Love, Francy
P.S. Your Mr. AGP man is simply the greatest guy...I think all of us who follow your Blog are a little bit in love with HIM, too!!

MosaicMagpie said...

What a beautiful post. Yes remember all the good and right things our fathers did. I miss the most his smile.
Debbie

Tracie~MyPetiteMaison said...

Dear Rebecca,
What a beautiful tribute to your father. There are so many things I'd like to say, but mostly want you to know, I'm feeling the same in my heart today, this Father's Day. Lovely photos of your dad and the two of you together too. How blessed you have wonderful memories in your heart forever to hold on to and treasure!
xo~Tracie

Daphne Nicole & Lynda Cade said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Dad. I lost my Dad when I was 15, I am now 46 and still miss him everyday. Thanks for sharing with us about your Dad! Blessings~~~Daphne

Andrea said...

Rebecca, this post is so moving and beautiful! I loved reading about your father's life. It inspired me, and I know you carry its inspiration with you each day.

Blessings to you, dear friend.

Love,

Andrea

Victorian1885 said...

Dearest Rebecca..my heart breaks for you..As I have mentioned before my Mother also has this terrible disease and it is not easy..
My Father passed away when I was 20yrs old and I miss them both every day. Thank God we have men in our lives that are there for us and are a deep strength when we need them. Take care my friend..hugs
Wanda

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Such a sweet tribute to your dear dad. I miss mine so much everyday, and especially on days like today.

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Dogmom Diva said...

Becky, what a loving beautiful tribute to your dad..so hard to watch our loved ones deteriorate but be thankful for the wonderful memories that you have. And what a rich life your dad has led..a good life.

hugs
Barb

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Rebecca I loved reading this post.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with us. What lovely memories.
Maggie

sewingseeds4U said...

I just stumbled (is there such a thing) onto your blog from the Where Bloggers Create bunny trail but...I am in tears. So beautifully put. I am watching my mountain of a father slowly decline in both physical and mental health and know your broken heart. You have been blessed with a God fearing father and an adoring husband (read his comment). I look forward to getting to know you better. Blessings,Patty

Anonymous said...

Becky--
Thank you for your touching words and trip down Memory Lane. Your dad loves his kids more than life itself. While in his 80's he is still ever aware of his children and grandchildren.
Thanks for being there for him.
Love you-- Mom

My Grama's Soul said...

What a gift you gave to me today.....especially with the last line of your post!!

XO

Jo

Sandi@ Rose Chintz Cottage said...

What a beautiful tribute to your father! I was going to do one on my father but I was waaay too busy over the weekend. Hopefully I'll get it posted in his memory on his birthday in July. Thanks for sharing and I agree that we should dwell on the things Daddy did right!

Blessings,
Sandi

Whimsey Creations said...

What a loving and special tribute to your father. He may be confused but deep inside where God is - he knows you still.

My Pink & Cream Cottage said...

Oh Miss R what a beautiful heartfelt post..... your Daddy has spent his life giving to others, especially his family & I know how hard it must be for you to see how he is now but.... I feel he does still know you, maybe not every time you visit but just as you have stored all your precious memories of him away in your heart, he too has all the same memories in his...... I feel so much for you Sweet & wish I could make things better for you....

Lyn xxx

Jacoba said...

Hi Rebecca,

What a very open and loving post you placed on your father on Father's Day. Thank you for sharing this with us. It is so important to share love.

I love the pictures on your blog and just wonder where you creative bloggers get them all from? It is most enjoyable to see them all.

Have a happy day!
Jacoba

LadyBugLuv said...

Dear Rebecca,

I am experiencing my father's decline too. We believe John 3:16, so know that for every sunset in a Christian's life, there is a sunrise in the next life. The remnants of beauty in a broken world, are a foretaste of the reality of our next life. The presence of God in our heart, is the part of heaven that we have with us in this life. May you be encouraged to know that all things will be made new again someday.

LadyBugLuv (DAS)

Elyse said...

wow, rebecca. what an amazing and eloquent tribute to your father. how interesting to see him age from young boy to older man in this post. an inspiring post.

thank you for sharing.

xo
elyse

. said...

I came here to see your creative space, but Im so glad I got to see this first, such a wonderful heartfelt tribute to your father. Made me cry and feel sad and kind of glad all at once (does that make sense?)... I lost my father two years ago, and miss him so very much. Bless you and thanks for sharing this.

White Lace and Promises said...

Reading back over some of your post and now in tear remembering mine too. This is an incredible song by Mark Scultz. His music stirs the heart. Prayers continue, my friend.

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