Friday, April 27, 2012



Mother's Day is just around the corner and I'm grateful once again my mother still lives this side of heaven.  I visited her the other day in the little apartment she's called home for thirteen years now.  She's packing for a local move which will take her farther from me, but one I know is probably in her best interest.

The other day while scanning some old photos my mother loaned me I came across one that I don't recall ever seeing before.  She must have been around the age of about eight or so the day it was taken...  I say that not because I know for sure but because I lost my front teeth when I was seven and by the time I turned eight my big teeth had grown in.  I figure the same was true for my mom.
As I looked at the picture and turned it over and over in my hands her steely blue eyes drew me in.  I have no idea what came over me at the moment...maybe I'm just missing her...maybe I'm afraid of losing her...not sure.  I only know for certain that all of a sudden I felt incredibly sad.  One day my mother was young with her entire life ahead of her and then one day she wasn't...and it wasn't.

I asked her once what she wanted to do with her life.

She said "I wanted to go to college, but was never encouraged to do so!  Then I met your father and...and...and..."

My mom's pushing eighty and I pray the years ahead will be good years for her.

She deserves it.

These days as I watch my mother move about it isn't uncommon for me to squint just a little because when I do I can still see the form of the woman who raised me.  In my heart she is very young and vibrant and looking stunning in her black dress, white gloves and pearl necklace.  Her life is full of dreams.  But that was long before the years of toil and heartache set in and the world in general became unkind.  Living without her beloved, the only man she's ever loved, must be difficult.

Difficult?  Did I say that?

 That word doesn't even come close to the challenge it must be to watch someone you love slowly, continually lose their health (and mind) to heaven knows what.  My father, of course, is still incarcerated living in the nursing home with the MONSTER in his brain and she continues to visit him every single day. 

All the while she is growing older...and more feeble...and more and more, well...old.

I watched my mother when I was just a child face many things.  But watching her as an adult has taught me so many life lessons.  Lessons about tolerance (she's deaf), lessons about forgiveness, lessons about grace, suffering, dignity and not folding when the hand you were dealt was less than what you'd hoped it would be.

Those steely blue eyes of hers remind me of my grandfather's.  They try to hide the fear of the unknown just like his did.  But, just as she knew him, I know her.  I know her well and see the raw side of her fear up-close.  It's personal.  It's life altering.  It's real.  Still, she refuses to settle for mediocrity, choosing instead to see only the good in the myriad of things spinning and spiraling about her....

She presses on.  Her faith in the Most High leading and guiding her...


(Thinking of you, Momma!  If the move doesn't work out you can come and live with me...)


I just started a new giveaway yesterday for this SWEET APRON fashioned with a darling Rachel Ashwell pink rose cotton!  Check the details at the bottom of the post found HERE!

Hope your day is lovely...

Love to you~


Sarina said...

What a moving, beautiful story,it brought tears to my eyes.My mom died,when she was only 65 and I still miss her ervery day.My father died just 2 years before her.
I like old pictures,genealogy is another hobby of mine.Your mother was a lovely little girl.
I realy hope, she will be around for many,many years.

gabraj said...

A beautiful story about your mother. Love to you. Gabi.

Marguerite (Tina) Smith Hart said...

What wonderful photos Rebecca! You are so lucky to have your parents, what a blessing they must be. My parents have been gone these many years and often I wonder how I would have handled caring for them in their retirement years. I would like to think that with my faith I would have had unflagging strength, the way you have.
Your mom must be relieved knowing that no matter what may come she has you as a daughter by her side.
My best wishes to your mom on her move, I hope it goes well!
Tina xo

Lululiz said...

Treasure every moment you can spend with her. I miss my mum.

Ginger said...

What a beautiful tribute to your momma. My Mom is like yours and faces heartache so casually because of their faith. Would love to be able to say I could be like my Mom. What a sweet picture of your Mom, I can see the resemblance. Have a wonderful day.

Theresa said...

Oh dear Rebecca! I am sending you a BIG HUG this morning! I know that you love both of your Parents and YES it is hard to watch them go thru so much! I pray that your Mother will enjoy her new home and that your Dad will keep smiling when she walks thru the door! Blessings and prayers sent your way!

sunnyskiesandsweettea said...


What a touching tribute to your Mother....Our mothers never lose their importance in our lives. I am 35 almost 36 and when I get sick, to this day I want my Mom Whaaa... No one comforts like Mom.

Amy Jo

Anne said...

What a lovely post and tribute to your sweet Mother.I hope her move works out.If not she is blessed to have you close by to take her in.Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Victorian1885 said...

Beautiful post Rebecca.... You & your Daughter are so like your Mother in those photos. Life is so precious & the wonderful memories of our Families are so dear to my heart.
As I have mentioned before in my posts my Father passed away when I was 20 and my Mother is 80 this year has had Alzheimer's for 15 yrs now. My Memories of life with them both are comforting to me and will be treasured until we meet again in the next part of our Journey.
Give your beautiful Mom a big hug for me... take care my friend!

Julie Marie said...

Oh Rebecca, what a touching post... PLEASE don't say your mama is getting old... I never ever say anyone is old... she is still that beautiful lady in the black dress, white gloves and pearl necklace that raised a most beautiful daughter named Rebecca... I know the heartache you and she must feel... I felt that same heartache over my daddy when he got so ill... but I always saw him as that young, vibrant man and in my heart I still do... sending you and your mama much love, xoxo Julie Marie

Chatty Crone said...

Your mom was a beautiful woman - lovely memories. sandie

~*Sharee*~ said...

You made me get tears hun; I miss my mom more than I can say; she lives in Ohio and right now I wanna pack up my belongings and drive home..Were both lucky to still have our moms on this side of heaven and I know I'm going to call my mom today...thanks for the sweep post..

Hugs, Shar

Anonymous said...

So touching & so very close to my heart..... After my Mother died at the age of 64 I got almost all the heirlooms. Hers & my Grandmother's & my GGAunt Rose. I have a huge box of photos & so many things that I love but makes my heart hurt so bad. The pain never goes away & I really don't think I want it to. I want to remember & feel the love I felt for these women who were and are still such a part of my life.
Lovely post .... Marilyn

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Good Morning my dear friend..Now I sit here crying..just thinking about my Mama that has lived in heaven for 4 years and all I wished I could say to her and share with her..I wished she could see her great great grand babies that I'm so proud of and how far our family has came..and the many Blessings God has given to us..
Hugs and smiles Gloria

Terri Gordon said...

Hi Rebecca, I enjoyed your post today, I am going through the same things with my parents, I have realized that they need me so much and I have decided to do all I can for them as they did so much for me. It has been hard having both of them have problems, and it is hard to see them become so frail. Take care and have a wonderful weekend. Hugs, Terri

NanaDiana said...

Rebecca-What a beautiful glimpse into your Mom's life. It makes me sad because my own Mom went through the same thing. My father had Parkinsons and she dealt with that and dementia set in early for her. I'm sure her dreams never came true either, but she never complained.

What a blessing that you still have her as part of your life...and I am sure she is beyond blessed to have you as a daughter-xo Diana

Pink Roses and Teacups said...

Oh dear Rebecca, what a beautiful tribute to your mamma. (sniff) You are lucky to still have her in your life. I am thinking of my mamma too, and missing her so much. She passed away 19 yrs ago. Thanks for the heartwarming post, and have a wonderful weekend.

Debbie xxoo

Yasmin Smith said...

What a beautiful tribute to your
sweet mother, Rebecca. She is such a lovely lady, and I see so much of you and Adrienne in her younger
photos. (Please don't say she is OLD, I think we are the same age!)LOL.....
Your post shows the gentle strenght
she possesses and reflects in the way her children turned out to be beautiful, loving Christains like she and your dad are. I have always felt your love for your family coming through in your post
about them, and in turn, your own children' about you and Steven.
I hope all goes well in your momma's move. I am sure it is a bit hard for her to leave familiar
surroundings, and for you to have her further away from you, but I know you will be with her as often as possible.
Have a lovely weekend...
Much love, Francy (Yasmin)

White Lace and Promises said...

My heart feels your pain and shares your pride in the rich heritage your parents have given you.

You know my story. It is very close to yours. Hold tightly to them for as long as you can and cherish those memories. They will sustain you as your Father walks this road with you.

Thanks for a beautiful story.

Nannyaboo said...

My Sweet Becky--

I am overwhelmed. Thank you for the beautiful post and the lovely comments from your friends.

As I age, my eyes grow dim, but I am thankful I am still able to see your dad on a daily basis. His touch and endearing words, "I love you" still bring JOY to my heart. God has Blessed us beyond measure.

I am looking forward to moving into my new home. If it doesn't work out, I may accept your invitation to live with you. I adore your "Little Blue Room. LOL

Love you-- Mom

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Precious post, Rebecca. You always speak from your heart and it is ALWAYS so eloquent! We will always love our mothers. I see much of you when I look at your sweet mother's pictures. She and your daddy raised you well, sweet friend!


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