Sunday, April 23, 2017


How do you manage your dark days?

I can tell you truthfully that during the past year I did a pretty crummy job of handling mine.  Most mornings I awoke feeling angry and bitter about my crumbling health and I lashed out at others when I was at my weakest...Most often towards my Mr. AGP Man as he became my verbal punching bag. 

My husband deserves the medal of valor or at the very least a blue ribbon for his kindness to me and for teaching me again that God will not allow anything to come upon us without also providing His love and grace to endure.
Life is sometimes so hard and if I'm being honest this past year has been one of the most challenging I have ever lived.  I've learned some pretty tough things about my sometimes UNLOVELY self~ But, mostly I've had a chance to experience both earthly and divine GRACE and in doing so it has radically changed the remainder of my days...
God is so merciful to us, isn't He?
When I was too discouraged to pray, too tired to sleep, too weak to work and too overwhelmed to care, God showed up.  He sent His grace to me in the form of loving, encouraging family and friends who helped work my days, massage neck, cook my food, drive me to appointments and then prayed for me when I couldn't pray for myself.

 I understand better that we give grace because we've been given grace. I hope in the future I'll do a better job of sharing it with others.

Love to you...



Theresa said...

I pray that you will have a much better year ahead! God is Good ALL the time and for that I am thankful! Hang in there girl, you GOT THIS! HUGS!

Anonymous said...

I understand where you have been and where you are. I spent 14 years fighting health issues. No matter how hard I tried, I still had days of anger and frustration. I thank God every day for his grace. Even when I tried to push him away, he stood with me, held me when I couldn't stand on my own, and put the right people and medical team in my path when I was ready to give up. My prayers are with you as you continue to find your way through it all.

God be with you.


RachelD said...

Good Morning, my Faraway Friend!

If I had the little icon/emoji things to send, I'd send you the one I text to my DDIL when she so often travels--It's my sign for "Traveling Grace," when she flies so many places all the time. Two sets of the Praying Hands, one on each side of a little plane in the air, as we hold her aloft in our prayers.

And you know, I DO believe that TRAVELING GRACE can carry us on any of our journeys in life, though they be rocky and achy and fraught with all the perils of our human frailties right here at home. An old lady once told me that her favorite Bible verse was "And it came to pass," for if she could hope toward the END of something, she could endure.

I'm mixing little metaphors like mad, here, but it seems that as we Travel Through almost anything, we can feel the support and grace and love of our fellow travelers, and have strength to go on.

I'm thinking you the little hands, supporting your plane as you recover and gain strength and vigor for the bright days ahead.

Love from the Heartland,


Unknown said...

Beautifully written from your heart. With God all things are possible. Healing hugs sent to you!

Barbie said...

Oh how awesome our Lord is to reveal this to us, even though He almost always has to do it through the hard times. I am going through a study called 'Healed and Set Free' right now and you just mentioned two of the things I am learning.

He wants us to first see what's in our hearts so that we can see it for what it is, displeasing to Him, and then give it to Him and ask for forgiveness so that we don't let that bitterness and anger defile us (Hebrews 12:15).

Knowing how much we have been forgiven because of His grace leaves us little or no reason not to then go and give that grace to others.

Thank you too Micki for reminding us in a very real way that He truly never will leave us or forsake us, even when we feel like we want Him to...

Love Love Love to see and hear that our Lord is at work in us and through us, ever molding and shaping us to make us more like Jesus.

What a great privilege it is taking one another's need to Him in prayer.

On the Potter's wheel,

Fabiela Villani said...

Happy Easter!

Rose L said...

I have had health problems this past year as well, and lost so much muscle that I could not walk more than a few feet for months. I am slowly working to getting strong again to be able to start hiking again one day. I know depression, anxiety, disappointment and stress of faith. God is there waiting for us to rely on him. You are blessed to have your loving husband to be supportive and patient.

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Rebecca,
You are very honest for writing this.
Yes, when we endure poor health or other things that do bruise and dent us as a human being, it is important for having a network of support. Alone we could never stand this and worse, without believing in God.
But once we overcome this, with the guidance of some loved ones and friends, we can truly start healing. Whatever we are recovering from, needs to find the perfect balance of body and soul. Only than will we start healing.
Wishing you strength for going on and what you mentioned here as using a loved one as verbal punching bag; that is true for all of us humans!

Deanna said...

Bec, I believe you have mastered something you were suppose to.
I'm going thru a dark time right now and have to talk to God a great deal as I am in a place unknown to me as we piece together our fire recovery that has just about dun me in.

Jen said...

Very touching post Rebecca. Unfortunately I know pain as well. I'm grateful that I am healthy and well today. I think in those circumstances we do the best we can and take it one day at a time.
Take care

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