Wednesday, July 18, 2012

~A PERSONAL NOTE~

Dear Friends...

I'm not sure how to begin this Post so I'm just going to jump in.

Many years ago I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that for quite a long time made my life miserable.  I will spare you all the details of it because even after twenty-five plus years of living with the once nameless disorder I still don't understand it all myself.  Gratefully and thankfully I've been symptom free for a long, long time now even though my blood tests continue to show some abnormalities.
When my arms and hands started giving me trouble over a year ago I chalked it up to being overly aggressive in my attempts to strengthen my upper body using SmartWeights (3 lb.)  But, over the past twelve months the pain only grew and this past April when I took some time off to visit California I was barely functioning.  I thought a week away from computer-work, sewing and painting would help, but sadly it didn't.  My arms and hands have burned with such intensity that I have barely been able to think let alone work.  The growing numbness left me nothing but frustrated and even sometimes overcome with worry.  My painting and sewing projects can be very detailed at times and not being able to work will explain to those of you who shop my website why my offerings have dwindled down in the past few months.  I'd begin something and then halfway through would feel so miserable I couldn't finish what I had started.  My apologies to those of you who have been disappointed or feel let down...
When I returned home from Tennessee last month, where I helped my sister prepare to open her shop, I knew something was up as I could barely drive home.  I left her home earlier than planned so I could get home to see my primary care doctor...AGAIN!  A few more minor tests were run, but basically I was given more pain pills and hand splints.  He suspected shoulder issues, but to be safe sent me to a more specialized doctor.  More tests were ordered but still no concrete answers.  Last Wednesday I saw a third doctor who was leery about the preliminary Carpel/Tunnel/Tendonitis diagnosis.  So, he scheduled other tests to rule out anything that might be associated with my auto-immune disorder...just in case.
I knew from what had been explained to me they were going to start from the top...worse things first.  In my heart I was very aware what they were looking for because I've been tested over the years for just about  every scary thing a person can think of...besides the nurse told me.  My heart sank into fear...
 
Since I started my blog back in January 2009 I've tried my best to share with you not only the things I love associated with my creative passions, but also my faith in a healing, loving, merciful God.  This past week as I tried not to worry and fret about the unknown bundle in my life I found peace in this one single belief...
God won't allow what I can't bear.

I am here because He has been faithful to me.  It has been His faithfulness that has initiated, nurtured, and strengthened my faith in Him in return.  It is my hope the faith he has planted inside of me will continue to stay strong and will never be uprooted by any event or circumstance my life may bring.

"It is grace that brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home."
(John Newton)

After days and days of waiting for the tests to come back the phone finally rang late Tuesday evening.  Not expecting it to be my doctor my hands started to shake when our Caller ID displayed his name.  Initially a flood of worrisome thoughts blazed thru my mind in about a nanosecond...but then, peace.  Only peace.  I knew before he ever spoke I was safe within the palm of The Most High.

"How deep will the pain go?
Rest assured, never deeper than the Lord's love."
"Rebecca?   This is Dr.......!  Forgive me for calling you so late but I have your test results and I knew you'd want to know the outcome!  The nerve tests done on your arms show you have a mild case of Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, no doubt brought about by your work related and exercise activities.  However, the nerves in your arms are so inflamed that at present I can't believe you can lift them at all!  A course of action......."

(I didn't hear much of anything else to tell you the truth....................)
 To the few of you who have known the story behind the story of this past year and have lifted me up to the Father, I can't thank you enough for your kindness.  Tomorrow morning, Thursday, I begin a round of injections to calm down the inflammation and after a week or so I'll know more about what I will choose to do in regards to treatment.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and notes of encouragement.  They have ALL meant the world to me...  (And to BonBon...no words.  Just enormous gratitude for your incredible faith and for standing in the gap when I was too afraid to stand on my own.  I love you!)

Blessings and love to you...

42 comments:

Blessed Serendipity said...

Rebecca,
My heart goes out to you. I did not know that you have been suffering so much. I pray that God will heal you and allow you to do the things that you love to do. Now that you know you have carpal tunnel syndrome can't that be treated? I do hope so. Blessings and hugs to you.

love,
Danielle

Sherri B. said...

Dearest Rebecca, thank you for sharing with us what you are facing. I know God hears our prayers no matter what, but it is nice to be able to talk to Him straight forward about things. I will keep you in my prayers...all through the day, my friend. xxoo

Victorian1885 said...

Dearest Rebecca
I am saddened that you have had to face this but know your loving Family and belief in God has helped ease some of your pain. I pray that your injections give you some relief in the weeks ahead. Take care and know we are all thinking of you and sending our love and well wishes.

Hugs,
Wanda

Rebecca said...

Danielle...yes, CPS can be treated. Thankfully. I'm hoping to NOT have to have surgery and so I'm trying injections first. Thank you for your sweet thoughts and prayers. xoR

Susan said...

Rebecca,
I am so sorry. My daughter has suffered for years with an autoimmune disease. I feel for you.
Do not hesitate to email me and ask for prayer.
Also, when you type on the keyboard, put it in your lap. What an unnatural way to bend your wrists, using it on a table.
Will be thinking of you and praying.
Susan

Shabby chic Sandy said...

I am so sorry for what you have been going through. There is strength in many people praying and I know there will be a lot of people praying, including me. You are such a graceful lady..I wish you peace and healing!

NanaDiana said...

God bless you-I know your pain- xo Diana

All Ways Designing said...

Rebecca,

I'm so sorry you have had to suffer and more pain is in your future. I'm glad you know the Lord is with you.

I know sometimes, even though the Lord is there, and peace abounds - there is still some doubt and fear that might creep in. You're only human. (I know, I have had a severe case of Bell's Palsy since Memorial Day and the right side of my face is still totally paralyzed.) In those times, drop everything and RUN to HIM! He will pick you up or even carry you.

We're praying for you! You're on my Blog's Prayer List, too!

Jan ♥

Donna said...

Rebecca,
I knew you were having problems with your hands. Hopefully the injections will help and you will be completely healed!
I know all about autoimmune diseases myself :(
Take care and Hugs,
Donna

The Polka Dot Closet said...

Oh Rebecca, you had me holding my breath, I was jumping all over the place trying to out think your writing with a dreadful diagnosis.....I know it is miserable, but, praise the lord, you can LIVE with Carpel tunnel! I am horrible about jumping ahead in books to see the out come and I admit I went to end of your post and then went back to read the rest. I bet they are going to try cortisone, that should do the trick, and then girl, you will have to slow down until your arms start feeling better!

Carol

Inma M. said...

Mis mejores deseos para ti.
besos y mucho ánimo.

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Rebecca,
Oh my, what a time you have behind you. Did not know that you too had suffered from auto-immune disease. It is something like a sword of Damocles that is always hanging over us I guess. But you got the better part of it this time it looks like. That is not a serious thing. My dear friend Rebecca (Becky) had it done years ago and she's fine. Getting older is not easy and we need each other for prayers and support! Without our belief, I bet we would not make it on our own...
A tight hug and oodles of love,
Mariette

Наталья said...

Ребекка, Ваша вера и меня укрепляет! Храни Вас Бог!!!

Rebecca said...

The sweet Russian comment above says this:

Rebecca, your faith and strengthens me! May God bless you!

(THAT'S WHY I'VE SHARED THIS STORY! XOXOR)

Teresa said...

I am so glad that it is Carple tunnel if it had to be anything. Fixable. Not fun though. I had tarsel ( ankle) tunnel and had an operation. So much better now. It has gotten me through a lot of painfree years.
I also had an auto-immune disease. Guillan Barr. ( I don't know what you had and went through). But I do know how scary it can be at times when you have symptoms like you had back then. I still have some lingering problems, but I am glad that those are the only things.
I pray that you can have some relief soon. Trust in GOD to help you do what is best for you. Hugs, Teresa

Sarina said...

What can I say?? Nothing....

A very big hug from me.


X,
Sarina

Stacey said...

Rebecca, I can't even imagine how hard symptoms like that would be for someone as artistic and active as you. Mentally and emotionally, it would be terrifying. I'll be thinking of you here in Texas. I hope you have some relief very soon.

Theresa said...

Praise God for blessings today and always. What a load off to know the results of your tests. We'll keep the prayer wheels turning sweet friend:). Hugs

Jill said...

I had no idea of your suffering and I am so sorry for what you have been going through. I send you healing prayers. HE will see you through.
*hugs* Jill

Patty Patterson said...

I'm so sorry that you are having to endure this unwelcome pain. I will be keeping you in prayer.

Marilyn said...

God is good, things will improve, and you will feel better. Praise God for this rich blessing.♥♫

Marrianna said...

I don't know you very well because I am one of your new followers. I am also learning to use my Google/Blogger reader to stay up-to-date with bloggers I follow. I had read about your recent tests and I am pleased for you that your doctor called with the results AND that it is treatable. God Bless You.

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

Rebecca, I am so sorry that you have been enduring so much pain. And thankfully this Doctor is taking an approach that will hopefully give you some relief. You may want to consider going to the Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis for further testing if you are not getting satisfactory results with the anti-inflammatory injections. We have heard so much about that particular clinic helping people with auto-immune conditions. May the Lord continue to give you strength and peace through this journey.

Hugs, Jocelyn

Linda said...

Beautiful Rebecca...my heart was sad to hear of the pain you have suffered! I had no idea! You bring so much beauty, and joy, and peace, to all of us here in blogland through your faith, your talents, and even your beautiful smile! I even love your beautiful smile, and it encourages me.

I am a woman of faith too...and I will certainly be praying for you Rebecca.

Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Brandy~GreyLaneHome said...

Rebecca I am sorry to read about your ailments, but your faith is so beautiful. I know you serve the most God and that he will carry you to better health. I will be praying for you. Thank you for writing a post that reminds me of how Great God is and how no matter the struggle I need to remember to leave it in His hands. Your a sweetie.

Shelia said...

Oh Dear Rebecca, I'm so sorry to hear you've gone through this for so long! I am encouraged more than you will ever know by your confidence and faith in our God. You will be in my prayers for the inflammation to be gone soon and no side effects. Take care of yourself and know you're loved.
Blessings,
shelia :)

Pink Roses and Teacups said...

Dearest Rebecca,

I had no idea that you had an auto-immune issue. Carpel tunnel can be treated. I had that too at one time. You have such a strong spirit I know you will over come this. Warm thoughts and prayers are coming your way. Love to you dear one!

Hugs,
Debbie xxoo

Melissa said...

Lifting you up!

Anne said...

Rebecca,
My sweet friend I am so sorry to hear about the pain you have been suffering with.I am relieved to know what is causing it for now you can get treatment.I will pray for you as your body heals.
xx
Anne

Blondie's Journal said...

I'm so glad your doctor found that you had something that can be treated. You have suffered enough. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, sweet lady.

XO,
Jane

Ceekay-THINKIN of HOME/Doublewide Decor said...

So grateful that you got the answer and that there is treatment to help you....I know the feeling of scared to hear the news...I go through that every couple of months for my CT. But we both know the Lord somehow gives us the strength as we need it. Continue to get better my friend.

Tanza said...

Hi my Sweet friend ~
I'm praying for you and your ouchers !! :( I KNOW one thing, and that is you are soo like me, and it takes ALOT to keep us knocked out, and laying on the mat .. praying you can get some relief, and up and at 'em again !!

God is good my friend, and I KNOW that you KNOW that .. praying you keep on keeping on !! Have a happy day RESTING ?! Does R really do that ?! :)

Love to you ~TeA~ xo

Eva Agnes said...

Read through your hole post thinking you had a serious muscle
inflamation. Which I have had for years. The only thing that heped me were injections and now I have long periods of taking pills for it. It all makes me a completely new person. I laugh, I live, I dance and above all I am able to use my hands again.
Good luck to you with the medication. You might have to hundergo another and another cure.
But don't give up. It will help you again and again.
God bless you
Eva Agnes

ShirleyC said...

Bless your heart! I'm sorry you have been having so many problems, but thanking God they have figured out what to do. I'll be praying your injections give you all of the relief you need!
Sometimes what goes through our minds makes us sicker than what we are really suffering from...
Hugs...

Gisela Suski said...

God Bless you, take some time off and rest.

Deanna said...

Rebecca, I will begin to pray for you. I'm sorry that you have been in pain.

Lord God, Bless Rebecca. Take the pain away, touch her body and make her whole this side of heaven. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Thinking about you,
d

Roselle said...

Sweet R:

I didn't know you were having such problems. I'm sorry for your fears and pain. You are on my prayer list!

xo

Suzann said...

Oh my sweet friend Rebecca,
I am so saddened to hear you are in so much pain.
I visit your blog very often without leaving any messages just wanted to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Your work is incredible and I hope you will be feeling better soon!!!
Love ya girl!!
Suzann ~xoxo~

Hope Filled Living said...

Rebecca, thank you for sharing with us so I can begin to pray for you. I'm so sorry that you have gone through so much pain.
xoxo,
Mary

Lululiz said...

I know carpal tunnel is horribly painful, I suffered with it when I was pregnant with my third, but I am so relieved that it is not something much worse and incurable. I hope that the injection treatment works for you and combined with plenty of rest for your arms you'll conquer the CTS.

Ginger said...

Just getting caught up on your posts, oh R I am so sorry you were going through this anguish but so relieved it was your CTS. I know you were scared to pieces. God is good. Take time letting yourself heal.

So
G

Terri Gordon said...

Hi Rebecca, I am so sorry to hear this, I am sorry that I have not been visiting your beautiful blog, I have been going through some things with my parents. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri

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