THINKING OF YOU, DADDY...from Becky Sue

Life has changed a lot for me since my beloved Father passed away a little over three years ago.  Even though my memory of him is as lovely as ever, I've never really reconciled myself with his passing.  I've been able to accept his death...just not the circumstances surrounding it.

And I doubt I ever will.

As an adult I remained extremely close to my Dad and watching his mind fade into some dark and unknown place was very, very difficult.  He lingered so long between reality and fractured remembrances of his younger self that when death finally came I understood it to be the greatest show of mercy God could bestow upon him.

And me.

Not long ago my mother, sister and I went through some of my Father's belongings that had been stored away for over a decade.  Most of the hundreds of boxes held books...but some held keepsakes that obviously were very dear to my Dad and there were a handful of photos as well.  Some I hadn't seen since I was a young child...some I had never seen.  Even though it was a task that had to be done, I couldn't help but feel I was invading his personal space.

 

I wondered if he was looking down upon the three of us while we worked or if he was busy doing other things...

You know, things like sitting in the presence of the God...walking the streets of gold while taking in the heavenly scenery...chatting with those who had gone on before him.

I didn't know.

 

My Dad was a very complex and private person and even sometimes secretive.  I hated being inside that storage unit and as each box was opened I came face to face with telltale signs of the mental illness that was beginning to steal away the Father I had known and loved for all my life. 

 

Obsessive and compulsive behavior could be seen at every turn.

Lists and more lists...and then even more lists.

Each box carefully tagged with excessive ramblings and taped closed as if golden nuggets were safely tucked inside.

My Father.  Complicated and mysterious as times.  And one of the two greatest men I've ever known.

 

Today, as I think about my Father, I'm buoyed by the legacy of  hope that remained within his heart until the day of his passing.  His unwavering faith in God and his steadfast belief that somehow, someday, I'd get things right.  That eventually I'd find a way to live my life to the fullest while being content with the simplest of blessings~

Like the first violet blooms of spring...

The seemingly endless heat from a summer's day...

The quiet rustle of autumn leaves...

Or winter's coldest breath...

 You know, just regular old days that are so easy to ignore.

Life.  We have only one.

I'm trying my best to live mine out in truth and I hope, pray my Father would be proud.

Thank you, Daddy, for helping to plant my feet upon the Solid Rock.

I love you.

I miss you.

~*~

Blessings~

Rebecca

~ANTIQUE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE...Un-box and Be Kind~

Recently my big sister headed out from her Tennessee home bound for Oklahoma to help my Mother and I go through some of my late Father's belongings.  A grueling task for any child, grown or not, and neither one of us were looking forward to the experience.

Honestly, I was dreading it.

  

What on earth could be so important that my Father would carefully pack and label each box with it's exact contents?

Things very dear to him, I suppose.

 The storage clear-out was at least a decade in the making and none of us knew just what we'd find.  My Dad had been incarcerated inside a nursing home for almost eleven years when he passed away in February 2014 and the unit hadn't been touched since the day he first stepped through it's front door.

We found the typical things often found after a loved one has passed~old greeting cards, letters and photos, long forgotten gifts and many personal items.

As a Clergyman, my Dad was always reading and studying and could never pass up a book sale or tag sale.  He had an endless hope of discovering something interesting to add to his ever growing assemblage of writings.

 He loved the hunt of that rare old find and over the years amassed quite an impressive library for someone of meager fare.  So, it was of no surprise to the three of us to find boxes and boxes full of books.

Tons of books.

Hundreds of books.

Thousands of books.

Some were old.

Most were vintage.

And many were true antiques dating back to the 1700's.

One twelve volume set really caught my eye.  The Book of Knowledge, The Children's Encyclopedia, was a beautiful leather bound set of books that I took the time to thumb through...

My Father must have really loved these books as they were wrapped in a soft cloth and tied up with string.

 First published by The Grolier Society back in 1868 with this edition being dated 1919.  Almost 100 years ago now.

 Each volume is filled with the most amazing things!  Lots and lots of early photographs, small black etchings and the instructions on how to do so many wonderful projects.

Plus...many stories and poems to make you both laugh and smile.  I was especially taken with the tale of

The Beauty and the Beast.

I'm afraid I'm used to the Disney version...

 I loved reading about the "women" writers of England...like

Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters.

It's incredible how far we've come in a century.  My grandmother was born in 1916~two years before the books were published.  I can just see her flipping though these pages years ago much like I peruse the internet today.

Still...there is something about holding an old book in my hands.  I love the way they smell and feeling it's weight and turning each tattered page.  I love finding my way to the end and feeling like I've completed something...

I can't help but wonder what my children are going to say when they find the things I've held dear and meet up one day to un-box them.

I certainly hope they will be kind.

~*~

Thanks Daddy, for holding onto your treasures.

You knew one day I'd find them in the very place you left them.

Gosh...I miss you.

Blessings~

Rebecca

~*BEAUTIFUL GEMS of THOUGHT AND SENTIMENT*~

~*BEAUTIFUL GEMS*~

My Father had a passion for books.  Didn't matter what kind...he loved them all. 

~*FRONT PAGE of BEAUTIFUL GEMS*~

I hope someday to own one or two of his most favorite...he had an amazing collection.

~*My FATHER...about 1993*~

Early this past Summer my Mother and I attended an amazing estate sale here in my town.  It was a family-run-sale (my favorite kind) and the contents of the home were incredible.  I scored a vintage Remington Typewriter, two amazing handmade vintage evening dresses (all hand stitched and dyed) and one of those large copper pots with perfectly placed patina.  I also snagged a ton of old books...about thirty or so.  Most of them had been stored away for at least fifty years or more and just seeing them made me think about my Dad.  He would have loved a sale like this one, and no doubt would have bought the same pick of books I had if given the chance.

 

~*BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK*~

As thrilled as I was over the Typewriter, clothing and old boiling pot, it was the books I was the most excited about.

~*1890 LONGFELLOW POETRY BOOK*~

Books.

Dusty.

Dirty.

Old.

 

 ~BEAUTIFUL VERSES*~

Anyway, I purchased all of them for about $25.  It wasn't until I lugged them home (and had time to flip through them) that I realized the rarity of my find.

 ~*TINY BOOK - THE BOY'S STORY BOOK*~

All the books are wonderful...my favorite is the BEAUTIFUL GEMS BOOK and the one you see above...THE BOY'S STORY BOOK from 1853.

~*BY THEODORE THINKER*~

It is so precious...

 ~*BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGS*~

Lots of lovely black and white etchings, too.

BEAUTIFUL GEMS is about 120 years old and as crazy as it sounds I just love the smell of it.  The spine has some damage and some of the pictures inside are loose.  So, I'm planning on scanning a few of them and framing them up for my La Chaumière de Briarwood.

 My Father would have loved it best, too.

Hoping your day is wonderful and filled with lots of good things.

Only good things.

Blessings...

~A NOTE of THANKS...TRIBUTE VIDEO~

Dear Friends...

This morning the last of my family members pulled out of Oklahoma and headed back towards their homes.  With my father's sudden decline and ultimate death the last three weeks have been a whirlwind of activity.  I'm personally sustained by the memories I hold dear and for the legacy of love and forgiveness that was so much a part of my dad's life.

Today would have been his 84th birthday.

I can't begin to thank you all for your kindness to my family.  The cards, letters, notes, food, flowers, visits and prayers reached beyond the pale.  I haven't had to cook a single meal since my father became ill because of the loving kindness of others.  In addition, with the unbelievable benevolent help from my son's employer we were able to feed my dad's entire extended family who traveled up to Oklahoma from Texas.  Catered meals poured in via McAlister's Deli and I'm beyond humbled by their generosity and goodness.  At one sitting I had over 30 people in my home and I didn't have to prepare a single thing.  Everything was provided...down to the utensils and straws.  They did this three separate times, each time being better than the last.

I'm learning a great deal about paying it forward as I continue to grieve the loss of my father.  I hope one day I will be afforded the chance to do unto others as was done unto me.

God has been so good.

I'm sure in the future months I'll share more about the long goodbye that took more than a decade to unfold.  Right now I'd like to share with you the incredible video tribute my son, Brandon Kent, prepared in honor of his grandfather.  It's full of lovely pictures, some we had never seen, and beautiful music.  I hope you love it.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Y4mxKsduk

Blessings to you today.  Your continued prayers for my Mother are so greatly appreciated.

Love to you...

~MEMORIAL SERVICE~

Thank you all for your kindness to my family as we grieve the loss of our beloved father.  As I shared with you a few days ago, he passed away on February 20, 2014.

The Memorial Service for Rev. William Edgar Elliott will be this Thursday, February 27, 2014 at Lake Overholser Church of the Nazarene in Bethany, Oklahoma, at 10:30AM.  Flowers can be sent to the church and notes of condolence can be mailed to my home address:

ELLIOTT FAMILY

c/o Nelson

1400 Briarwood Drive

Edmond, OK  73034

Thank you again for the outpouring of love and compassion.  It means so much to my family and I.  I hope someday to repay you.

Love,

~FIRST DAY IN HEAVEN~

William Edgar Elliott

March 4, 1930 - February 20, 2014

My beloved father went home to be with Jesus early yesterday evening after more than a decade long battle with dementia.  Although our hearts are broken, we rejoice he is now in heaven encircled by those who have passed on before him and the God he has loved so much.

To those of you who have shared in my heartbreak over the years, read my writings, sent notes, left comments, made visits, etc., I can't begin to thank you.  Your kindness to me and my family has helped forged friendships that will last a lifetime.

Please pray for us as we plan the going-home-celebration of my daddy's life.  It is our hope and deepest desire to make him proud.

Love,

~HOSPICE~

Over five years have passed since I first began sharing with you stories of my beloved father...  As a preacher-man, I was blessed to live with an amazing man, one whom I love and will always adore.  Forever and always he will be only one thing.

My Daddy.

The journey of my father's life with dementia and the accompanying twelve year long goodbye is about to come to an end.  My father is in his last days of life and HOSPICE was called in today to assist our family.

We are praying for a gentle, pain free passing.

The picture above was taken by my mother in 1956.  My father was 26 years old at the time, a bit cocky and crazy-handsome.   She told me this evening that this is how she still sees him in her heart.  He would have been 84 on March 4th.

Please pray for Mom.  Today was a difficult day for her and the choices she had to make just broke her heart.

Mine, too.

Thank you for your kindness and for lifting us up to the Father.  His grace and peace are covering us and we are sustained by His love.

Love,

 

~MORE THOUGHTS FROM MY FATHER...

HANDWRITTEN WITH LOVE

Several weeks ago I shared with you how in every sense of the word, and amongst other things, my father was a Poet. He loved to write about his passion for the Sea and the deep love he had for his family. Most often though he wrote about his faith.

The ravenous effects of Dementia are quickly stealing away tiny bits of my father's mind. I struggle sometimes to understand why a loving, merciful God could allow such things...but then, God is GOD and I am not God. So, I've concluded I'm not suppose to understand the things that are beyond my understanding.

Willingly (although with obvious struggle), I no longer try.

Today I can only say now how I wish this cup had passed from him...

BEFORE THE ILLNESS

This morning I came across a lovely little poem my Father penned when he was not quite 22 years old. Thirty years after it was first written an old friend returned to him the only copy in existence. Although he was vocal about it's simplicity and questionable meter, I begged him to include it in the handwritten keepsake book he gave to me many years ago.

He obliged.

ORIGINAL POEM FROM MY FATHER

I lovingly share a copy of it with you today.

CREATION OF GOD

I gaze out 'ore the valley
The rolling verdant hills
And tell myself 'what a beautiful dream'
God had to make it real

I look up at the castles
Of the clouds there in the sky
And tell myself no man made thing
Graced so the human eye

Then there is the sunlight
I see through the window pane
Or the darkened clouds evicting
The jewelery of the rain

I also see the flowers
Dressing up the land
With colors that are laughing
At the futile cities of man

God, our Father in Heaven
Show us all the Light
To see such beautiful things as these
That help make life alright.

W.E. Elliott
3/1/52

Blessings to you as you enjoy the unequaled beauty created by the Most High...Rebecca