Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Sometimes it's as if I've been gone only for an hour or two...

It's been 36 years this month that my parents and their four children loaded a lifetime of belongings inside a large moving van and backed it out of the driveway of the only real home any of us ever knew.  As we crammed into our aging family car we headed east towards Pike's Peak Mountain and as we drove away I knew only one thing to be true...I desperately didn't want to go.

My heart was never quite whole after I left Sigman Street and if the truth be told I never really considered any other house I ever lived in as a child my home.  And, although I am never to know how my life would have been different, I somehow know I would have ended up in the very same place I am today.  I may have taken another road to get here...traveled a different path...walked down a different street, but I believe I would be living the life I am now living just the same.

I pulled up the picture at the top from the Internet and it shows what our California home looks like today.  It's a shadow of it's former self for long gone are the crank-out windows and the soft brown facade that set the home apart from those around it.  The Fruitless Mulberry Tree planted when I was seven has been uprooted and the original landscaping has been changed as well.  In it's place an extended concrete driveway has been poured and it now sits on top of the very earth where the photo of the three of us kids was taken back in 1963/64...

This morning as I went outside to water my garden flowers I couldn't help but wonder about the house standing so proud and tall in front of me.  Who might be driving by my La Chaumière de Briarwood questioning the changes made to what might very well be their childhood home?

When I was still a very young girl my family visited the plot of Texas land where my Father lived as a boy.  The house hand long ago been torn down and I remember watching as tears formed in his eyes as he talked about Conroe and how he deeply he loved it.  At the time I did not understand his passion for the earth beneath his feet or why the demise of 'Crystal Creek' caused his booming voice to crack and tremble...

Not long ago I was chatting with my grown son about possibly one day selling the house he lived in as a child and the Oklahoma home we still live in today.  Once we have grown older it's hard for us to imagine being able to climb her aging stairs...

"Oh Mom!" he began

"I want to live in my old house again someday!  Please promise me you won't ever sell it without giving me a chance to buy it.  I hope one day I'll again call it home..."

 Today I'm happy to know that as everything about life and the land seems to change about me daily, thankfully the love of home continues to live on and on...

May Smith White

Is this the lane where lilacs used to bloom~
Or have I missed the road that once I knew?
As here above the fence, no longer loom
The wind-blown lilacs I had longed to view.
For years I somehow knew I would come back~
Although a silent voice had said to me:
Old scenes will be subdued, in someway lack
The beauty known upon each hill and lea!
But yet, I know I will return again
To claim a dream before it fades and dies;
To see a greening hillside washed in rain
And soon, the clearness of the cobalt skies.
I will return again I know~I know~
To walk remembered paths of long ago.

Blessings for a lovely day!

Love to you~


stefanie said...

how sweet, wouldn't that be perfect...and you must of made special memories for him!!!

Dolores said...

Oh Rebecca, this is such a sweet post. Thank you for sharing the sweet pictures and a walk down your memory lane.

My childhood home has changed so much. Last time I drove by it, I decided 'no more'..... it made me too sad to see how bad it looked.

Beautiful poem...

Theresa said...

Oh what a sweet post! I love the pictures you are posting of your childhood! I lived in the same house my whole life until I got married! It is and will always be home! I think it is wonderful that your Son wants to buy your house so he can live in his home again! Smiles!

Enjoy your day! HUGS!

Terra said...

I have similar feelings about the home where I grew up, and the other home where we raised our children. We have been in this house more than 20 years so there are lots of memories here. Thanks for your thoughts and the photos.

Anonymous said...

Read this to your son.....
DH & I bought this house 15 years ago so I could live like my grandparents did when I was a child. I can remember them/us sitting on their front porch just down the road from where I am now. Oh how I loved that house & my grandparents. I loved the friendliness of the town.
When this house was up for sale I guess I thought I could recapture the "community" life I had known.
Not so...... This town has changed. People from far away live here now. Not friendly....
To coin the phrase...."you can't go back!" Memories are just that. I wish I had known. Maybe I wouldn't feel so broken hearted now.

NanaDiana said...

That is just a beautiful and heart rending post. I know exactly how it feels for you. I have not been back to the old farmstead now in about 25 years. I know the house was burned down about 10 years ago...and my brother still owns the surrounding property. I guess I haven't wanted to see is in all these years because I am afraid of the emotions it would give rise to...

That poem is perfect~ Hugs- Diana

Mari said...




Jacoba said...

Hi Rebecca,

It is very moving to read your story about the family houses. It is the people that make the heart of the home, but the strange thing is that once the family has left it still remains 'your' home. The other day I set in my parents house, a new family living there now for 3 yrs and it was so uncanny ..... I thought: OK, you bought the house, but this will always be my home. My mother always said when she was leaving for a longer time: good bye dear house, I hope I will return soon.
You inspire me on writing a story on this!
Despite the pain one feels of having to get go of such a safe and wonderful place, it is also to be considered as a great gift to have known such a sheltered and warm place. It is a positive activity and energy that will be part of you forever.
Have a wonderful day!

Trisha said...

My parents sold the home that I grew up in, the only house I ever lived in, just 4 years ago. It broke my heart when they sold it. Last year, when I was in the midst of planning my wedding, all the dreams that I had about the wedding always took place at the house where I grew up. There is still a cement slab out front with the handprints of my brother and I, ages 4 & 2. The current owners promise that they will give it to us if they ever remove it. And the song "The House that Built Me" by Miranda Lambert is a song that makes me cry each time I hear it! Isn't it amazing how a house can be such a presence in your life! Thank you so much for this post to remind me of the house I love!


Julie Marie said...

Hi Rebecca... I feel the very same way about my childhood home... it will always be my home even though my parents sold it so many years ago, and now my mama and daddy are gone too... I sometimes drive past it... things have changed drastically in the appearance of it, but sometimes I park out front, and for just a few minutes, I see my mama's beautiful roses blooming, our beautiful cherry orchard, the driveway where my little sister and I learned to roller skate... our little dog Tina playing in the yard... some days it seems so real to me, as though all of these things are really still there... I know I carry these precious memories in my heart, so I guess they really will never go away... you have such a wonderful way of writing things that really do touch my heart... xoxo Julie Marie

Oklahoma Granny said...

When our daughter was about to enter her freshman year of high school we sold the home she had lived most of her life in. We weren't moving far, only to a different part of town so she still had her friends. She was happy to be moving into a larger home. Several years went by, she married and had a young son. The house she'd lived in for so many years came back on the market about the time they were looking for a home to buy. She was so excited when they were able to buy it! They lived there until her oldest son was about to enter Middle School. I'll have to ask her sons if they miss their old home.

BECKY said...

How precious, Rebecca! I lament my childhood home because out of our entire neighborhood, it was the only one that was truly changed and not in a good way. In that I have learned that home is wherever our family is and that the memories made there go with us in our hearts and minds. How sweet that your son would consider buying it! That is the way I think it should be, though I love what my experience has taught me, too.

Blessings to you gal! You would make any place a home that they would always remember!! {smile}
Love and hugs,

Debbie said...

Oh Rebecca you made my heart smile! I live in a small town in Maine. I"m 56yrs. old and I have never lived more than 1/2 mile from where I am right now. We live in the home that my husband was born and brought up in, which his father built during the depression. This home has such a wonderful history. When we have family gatherings , oh the stories that are told..I love my home..Debbie (Maine)

Unknown said...

I'm thinking you have a generational thing going on here-how amazing that your son would want to some day live in his child-hood home. That speaks volumes, my friend!

Unknown said...

I always have remembered my Nanny's house from when I was a child. I can remember every room and even most of the furniture and how it was arranged. Good memories.

Stephanie Suzanne Designs said...

Hi Rebecca,

I never seem to make my visit to you on Pink Saturday these days. This summer I've stayed so busy that I've really missed visiting the way I used to. I've finally slowed down and now posting more again.

I loved reading about your childhood home and how it made you feel as you left it behind.

I'm an Air Force brat..so you know what that means? I never stayed in any one school much less a home for more than 2 years. After my Father retired it seemed for one person or another or some reason I kept traveling...

until 17 months ago!! Yes, I've traveled ALL of my life..LOL I'm 52 years old and the plan was to find a mountain home and I was gonna "take root". It's a new concept and such a wonderful feeling to know for sure that I'm never moving again.

I hear what you are saying about the aging and the stairs in your home. I have two staircases in this home but I know that if I reach that point one day of not handling them well that I can have those electric seat thingies installed. :0) My Dad had one installed for my Mother and they are fabulous. No more worry with getting up and down.

I hope you'll drop by for a visit with me. I do miss hearing from you.

Have a wonderful day,
Stephanie ♥

My Pink & Cream Cottage said...

Hello girly girl.... when I was 15 my mum & dad sold our family home & moved us all to the top of the South Island...... I can remember crying my eyes out the day we left it was so hard to leave all my friends, my sister who had moved out of home, my relo's but mostly the home I had lived in all my life in the City I loved. Last year when I went back home I went past my first home & was so pleased to see the new owners have restored her back to how she was when I lived there. I think our first home will always have a special place in our hearts.....
Have a great day my friend..

Lyn xxx

Deanna said...

Dear Rebecca,
Making those sweet memories in our homes is priceless and something we take where ever we go!

Isn't it wonderful to be able to have a refreshing time recalling these memories? Love this.
So many times I fall asleep as I'm decorating places in my head or remembering childhood memories.

God bless and keep making those memories,

Elizabeth Dianne said...

Somehow we all want to go back to our roots......well, most of us it seems. We moved back to Arkansas from Ok when we retired. And it is home here--

I am imagining a place where we will live eternally--no moving, eternal roots! How glorious.

Mollye said...

Oh Rebekka, You had my heart on this one. I've written so many times about my childhood home and it never fails to set me spinning and remembering. What beautiful and poignant memories you have shared with us today and the pic of your beautiful girl with her Daddy made me cry. Love, Mollye

Rose said...

the memories of our childhood home makes a major impact on our minds and hearts. rose

~ ~ Ahrisha ~ ~ said...

Hello Rebecca~ ~ ~What a bittersweet post. I enjoyed reading it and also all the comments here. I remember each home I have lived in fondly. There are special memories in each one but I love looking toward the future and livin'in the present. The house I live in now is my favorite. Some of the characters who lived in the others are gone but their spirit lives on in my heart. Bless you.
~ ~Ahrisha~ ~

Carolyn said...

isn't it amazing how our childhood home has such a special place in our hearts?? sometimes when i feel a little bluesy, i drive by my old childhoold home and i can see a little girl with her siblings playing in the front yard...such sweet memories. i love the memories!! when i visit my alzeheimers inflicted mother, i love re-telling all the memories to her! not sure she really enjoys it much, but it sure has a way of making me happy to talk about it! :)

hugs, carolyn ~ cottage sunshine

Blog Archive